thank you Mark…
The issue of consent has come up and rather debate it piecemeal with one individual, I intend to place my position here and rely on intelligent comments from the gallery.
A d/s relationship is grounded in consent. No man has the right, legal or moral, to force another into servitude against her will. A dom who thinks this way, and I believe one frequents this blog, seems (to me) to miss the entire point of a d/s relationship. It is about giving, not taking. It is an award of trust from the sub, placed into the hands of her dom who cares enough to push her limits, make her try new things, experience new pleasures and pains that, as another more learned reader posted on his blog, she wants to try anyway, but may not have the courage or opportunity to do so without her dom’s support and instruction. To merely take that from someone is the act of a bully. To be deserving of such tremendous trust and power is the mark of a true dom.
My own pet has consented to having me as her dom. As a result, she has been severely caned, and publicly, tortured to tears, and taken in a way that caused her physical pain and a moment or two of emotional desperation. She has been restrained, put through a freezing shower, and made to serve me sexually and otherwise regardless of her desires. But because consent underlies everything that has happened between us, in other words we both knew that she needed these things and that I would not cause her true harm, any resistance was futile for her and arousing to me. The way I loook at it, through intelligent discussion at the outset, we have set a few (and really, very few) parameters beyond which she cannot and will not go. Those are nobody’s business but our own, but the point is that within those (very non-restrictive) bounds, I am free to wander at will, causing physical pain and dominating both mind and action as I see fit. Those parameters, by the way, may only be retroactively expanded, not narrowed. That way my realm is constant or growing, while her control never increases, only decreases. I believe this provides flexibility for exploration, for the removal of mental and physical barriers while not allowing my pet, in a moment of weakness, to erect such boundaries.
That she has trusted me so greatly is an honor and a responsibility, a gift that can only be given and never taken.