bdsm · caning · spanking

“Do it for me.”

I’ve left the girl I was supposed to be and some day I’ll be born.
~Paula Cole

Nine o’clock. I have one hour until I head to bed. I had a late night out last night so I am a little sleepy but that is not the reason I am turning in so early. My wonderful, sexy Master told me that at 10 PM he wanted me to play with myself for him. No problem here! I am getting much better at this. Funny how something as simple and natural as masturbation can still trip me up when I have experienced so much lately. When I made the comment to him Friday on the phone Master said that possibly when he sees me again he will have me do it in front of him. Instantly I was in full panic mode and I wonder if he noticed it. I can’t do that, there is no way.
 I mean, I will do it if he tells me to do it because I am such a good pet and I never give him a bit of trouble……… Tantrum 
How does one do that in front of another person? And I know my head is in the wrong place as I sit and ponder this. I know that if I was truly his good pet I would only be focused on the pleasure that my doing so would bring to him and less about how uncomfortable it will make me. I am thinking that though!!!! Of course that will be my #1 thought.
I want to pleasure him. I want to please him and how can I do that if I don’t know what I am doing. Do I look at him when I do it, will he watch my face or will he only watch…..down there where the action is? I’ll have to remember tonight to check and see if I close my eyes when I masturbate. Will he expect me to put my finger inside myself too, because I don’t do that.
And I just know he’ll have the lights on, he never lets me turn any of them off. I hate that. When I touch myself it is always dark and I am under the covers. Pretty sure the covers will be out of the question. I also know that he will be distracting me somehow. Anytime I am on my back like that my thighs are vulnerable to his strap or the hairbrush….what if he touches me at the same time? What if he puts his mouth on me while I touch myself? What will happen to me then!

I need advice on this one ladies…..and gentlemen too! What’s a girl to do?

4 thoughts on ““Do it for me.”

  1. i still struggle with this…but, when the time comes and you are there with Him…you will want to please Him and it will just happen…the way it should. don’t over think it, just let it happen.



  2. i agree with lc…i think you are thinking too much about it and worrying yourself. i think that your natural submission to M will take over and you will do as he asks.

    honestly, i cannot masturbate by myself let alone in front of someone….this is something i would like to eventually overcome.

    just as you are more comfortable with playing by yourself per his request, you will become comfortable with playing with yourself in front of him. when you play next, think of him there watching you….admiring what he is seeing….and being pleased by your behavior.


  3. I know exactly where you are coming from on this one. I feel the same way about touching myself in front of another. Can feel a little uncomfortable, BUT when you do it for a wonderful man, the nervousness melts away. You focus on his reaction and how you are turning him on and it will turn you on as well. Before you know it, you will have lost yourself in the moment.

  4. PixiePie…If any man, let alone your M, wanted to watch you masturbate in front of him, I can promise you that it is a total turn-on for him. There is nothing more erotic, save for anything new that you might experience, than someone who will show such vulnerability and passion at the same time. I would do it for my lover in a heartbeat.

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