I’ve left the girl I was supposed to be and some day I’ll be born.
Nine o’clock. I have one hour until I head to bed. I had a late night out last night so I am a little sleepy but that is not the reason I am turning in so early. My wonderful, sexy Master told me that at 10 PM he wanted me to play with myself for him. No problem here! I am getting much better at this. Funny how something as simple and natural as masturbation can still trip me up when I have experienced so much lately. When I made the comment to him Friday on the phone Master said that possibly when he sees me again he will have me do it in front of him. Instantly I was in full panic mode and I wonder if he noticed it. I can’t do that, there is no way.
I mean, I will do it if he tells me to do it because I am such a good pet and I never give him a bit of trouble………
How does one do that in front of another person? And I know my head is in the wrong place as I sit and ponder this. I know that if I was truly his good pet I would only be focused on the pleasure that my doing so would bring to him and less about how uncomfortable it will make me. I am thinking that though!!!! Of course that will be my #1 thought.
I want to pleasure him. I want to please him and how can I do that if I don’t know what I am doing. Do I look at him when I do it, will he watch my face or will he only watch…..down there where the action is? I’ll have to remember tonight to check and see if I close my eyes when I masturbate. Will he expect me to put my finger inside myself too, because I don’t do that.
And I just know he’ll have the lights on, he never lets me turn any of them off. I hate that. When I touch myself it is always dark and I am under the covers. Pretty sure the covers will be out of the question. I also know that he will be distracting me somehow. Anytime I am on my back like that my thighs are vulnerable to his strap or the hairbrush….what if he touches me at the same time? What if he puts his mouth on me while I touch myself? What will happen to me then!
I need advice on this one ladies…..and gentlemen too! What’s a girl to do?