Her punishment (which comes from a discussion/thought we had during an email exchange):
To post a blog entry of PRECISELY 500 words on what it would feel like and what issues would be raised if (when?) I told her to domme another girl.
To domme another girl would be unnatural to me. Imagine Little Red Riding Hood planning to eat the wolf, plain unnatural. If I was asked to perform this act for M, I would do so without hesitancy. I am sure seeing me do this would give him some element of pleasure. I imagine the bulk of his pleasure would come from me submitting to his whim rather than me actually being dominant. And realistically isn’t that what this would be about? Pleasing M? It would be with that spirit and resolve I would charge into this if he ever asked me to. Would I like it? No. Would I receive any sexual gratification from it? Not at all. I am naturally submissive, the idea of being dominant is distasteful to me. Doing it for him, knowing he is watching me and that I am pleasing him in the process is however, not distasteful to me.
I wouldn’t like the idea that I was capable of hurting someone, even the idea that someone would be submissive enough towards me to allow me such liberties with their body makes me uncomfortable. The desire to strike another person is alien to me. The desire just isn’t there. Thinking this through as I write this essay is revealing to me just how much responsibility comes with being Dominant. So many fears that cross my mind as I consider being asked to cause physical pain to another person. Can I damage her? Is she OK? What are her reasons for seeking submission? Am I doing her more harm than good? All valid questions that linger in my mind as I contemplate being Dominant over someone else.
I have a new found appreciation for the emotions and responsibilities that M must carry with him in this sometimes difficult journey with me. It is a great deal of responsibility to provide discipline and guidance to another person. He takes his role quite seriously. He is the voice of reason that I tend to listen to more than any other in my life. He says that there is such strength in my submission to him, that some people may think being submissive is a sign of weakness. He has taught me it is the opposite. I agree 100% and I enjoy what happens on my end of the cane. To be asked to cross over even for a moment shatters some image in my head of who I am. I am truly only learning what it is like to be submissive. I mess up a lot. He has the patience to deal with me when I do, I don’t have that. He knows when to ignore my antics and when to address them, he knows and understands the emotions that seep through my blog and my emails to him. It is with the same patience he deals with my flaws that he celebrates my growing submission to him. I do not have that inside of me to give.