bdsm · Life in general · spanking

Sharing vs Showing Off

Today in conversation with M we were discussing the story he had written for me yesterday and I made a remark something to the effect of… “why do you always want to share me?” I think he is surprised that I see what he asks me to do as sharing. He sees it as ‘showing me off’…I argued a bit more because I truly do not see the difference. Because I argued with him and because he truly wants me to see the difference he told me to explore it in a 300 word essay.

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Scenario One- Sharing

“Give it to me, that is my toy!”

“No, no, no, no, it is my toy!”

“Alright boys, settle down, it is nice to share your toys. Tommy when you are finished playing with it give Jason a turn.”

Scenario Two- Showing off

Na-na-na-na-boo-boo..lookie what I have..it’s all mine and you can’t play with it, na-na-na, here you can touch it, you can hold it for a second but now I want it back. Right now, it’s mine all mine! It’s my special toy and I don’t have to share my special toys.”

I think I see the difference.

As soon as I started to write it hit me what he has been trying to get me to understand all along. The difference between sharing and showing off is clear to me now. I am still trying to cross over that place in my head that still thinks that being shared or showed off is wrong. It isn’t as long as I am doing it for him. Along with my submission to him I gift him with my trust. That doesn’t mean I only submit to what turns me on or what is easy for me, it should always be what pleases him. He would get pleasure from another man admiring what is his. Like the boy in the scene if he is a really good friend he may even let him touch they toy but only because he knows it is always coming back to him, because he knows that even while the other boy is interacting with the toy it is still his toy and he gets to say how it is played with. That is showing off. He is proud of me, proud of the fact I am submissive to only him.

6 thoughts on “Sharing vs Showing Off

  1. Yes. It may seem a contradiction, showing off what we have by saying “touch it,” but how better to tease and tantalize and demonstrate the wonderful toy (or pet in this case) that we own?
    Sharing is giving up a part of what we have, even temporarily. Showing off, childish though it may be, is essentially the opposite: “I have it, you don’t, and here’s the proof. Look what you are missing.”
    You are precious and wonderful, sexy and sophisticated and I know every dom and domme on this planet would be jealous of me for possessing your submission, and your heart. That’s why I am a meanie and like to show you off to them. I’m glad you see the difference now.
    So, who wants a (small) piece of my pet?

  2. I see the difference, but i think many Dom’s want to share AND show off, and that’s where i have an issue. I’m not comfortable with the sharing thing, even though it’s a fantasy, it’s still a scarily impractical barrier for me to consider (no offense at all meant to people who have done it, I wish i was strong enough not to have my concerns.)

    –[milla]

  3. concerns are not a show of weakness in the least…it was my own concernes that prompted M telling me to produce this post and i’m not weak…lol 😉
    i think when women think of ‘being shared’ it right away brings to mind feelings of inferiority…’he doesn’t want me anymore, he’s giving me away’…who wants to feel that? like my brilliant M said, sharing is giving up something that you have, we are conditioned to think that if you truly value something you certainly would never give it away…. you give away used clothing, old furniture, you give away things you do not desire, do not need-things that have litle value to the giver….yet in this sort of relationship it almost increases your value… for myself i have given M all of my barriers…and i’m not saying he would ever do this but if he chose to ‘share’ me by asking me to pleasure another man or woman as long as it was done safely (and that goes without saying) because it would pleasure him in the process i would do as he asks…..not because he didn’t desire me or need me but because in doing so his desire for me would only increase…and on the other hand i understand now the difference between the two and i think ‘showing off’ a pet like a highly prized toy meets a more primal need in a man that perhaps is heightened in a dominant man…i was giving it further thought when you commented milla and i likened this feeling though i am downplaying it significantly to the fleeting, silly ‘yes i know you want it’ feeling we get wearing an amazing pair of new heels or an expensive designer bag while shopping and having the other women covet our good fortune or taste or style…superficial…maybe a bit but i don’t mind being that desired and that valued by M for him to want the world to see what we share……thanks for your comment!

  4. pixiepie- i am actually glad that you had to explain the difference here as it helped me understand the concept more as well. like you, i was trying to figure out the difference which of course hit me just as i started reading your explanation. i guess we pixie’s are a lot alike….lol.

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