M.

“Yes, I will go.  I would rather grieve over your absence than over you. ” ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

 M and I have decided it is best to end our relationship. Our pain is very great but we both intend to move forward through this sadness with the same spirit that drew us together. Our intention is to remain friends and to allow our mutual love to guide us out of this relationship the way it guided us into it. The days ahead will be hard so please understand if I do not write as often. Though if I know me my blog will become quite a therapeutic outlet.

I need and appreciate the support of all of you at this time.  I am safe in the hands of Richard and Ms. Anna and am moving forward in my life.  There will be much more to my story and I hope you will all follow it and enjoy it with me.

20 thoughts on “

  1. hi Dr. Dom…I am on the phone with Richard right now and I just predicted you would be the first to comment.
    Richard told me to tell you to be nice.

  2. Because, of all the things that have been said so far, this one was the hardest, and pixie needs some nice right now.

  3. Does this mean our litle pixie is ‘Domless’ now?

    Where do I apply? And I can do nice.

  4. anything you say pixie.
    Does Sir Richard share or did all involved learn their lesson when it comes to sharing. Forget everything your preschool teacher said- don’t share your toys.

  5. Thank you, DrDom – this humorous exchange between us has helped make Pixie smile again. She is going to be fine – and smiles are especially good for her right now.

  6. anything for pixiepie.
    All humor aside I realized many posts ago sadness in sweet pixie. Things were not quite as they should be in her world. I wish her the best, I wish M the best. I will remain an enamored fan of both the person and the pixie behind this blog. I have a good feeling about you Sir Richard and I hope we hear more from you.
    Pixie a word of caution if I may and with all due respect Sir Richard. Go slow but never waste an opportunity to ‘feel’.

  7. DrDom…sharing is not for children. Under certain very special conditions, adults can indeed share with love and maturity. Then…it is a very beautiful thing. Perhaps, someday…if you’re a good boy…Richard will consider sharing his toys with you. But probably not.

    Be strong, Pixie!

  8. I have a good feeling about you as well, DrDom, and appreciate your kind words to pixie and to M – feelings which I share. To the extent your advice is directed at me as well as pixie, I thank you for it. And I know you understand the inherent conflict between going slow and never missing an opportunity. But there was a look of wonder and amazement on pixie’s face when she first peered into the Pandora’s Box of our toy bag – and the exerience opened a floodgate of “feel.” The speed at which she has moved has been in part the result of her exposure to a philosophy which Ms. Anna and I (and I’m sure a number of pixie’s readers) share – the idea that (a) the exchange of power is a means to an end, pleasure, and not merely for its own sake, and (b) the open exchange of ideas is not only “OK” but is actively encouraged as the most natural way of growing. Pixie still asks if it is ok to ask a question, but the answer, as she is learning, is always “yes.” Not just yes, but “yes, of course!”
    The past week has been a whirlwind of euphoria and despair for her. It has also been a week of much learning, and I am sure that pixie will be sharing some of it with you. I have been given the opportunity, and the responsibility, for acting as her guide through the array of “opportunities to feel” that are in front of her. The opportunity I am truly thankful for – the responsibility I take very seriously. She is an amazing young woman.
    Last week her world “tilted” (her word), but she has her feet on the ground and is facing forward. There are more tears to come, but there are plenty of smiles as well. It makes me feel really good to know all of you will help her through the tears and encourage her smiles. I actually have a good feeling about all of you, not just DrDom (sorry DrDom – this time YOU have to share).

  9. Several hours later, I am still working through in my mind that part of DrDom’s advice regarding going slow. It was thought-provoking when I read it, and I’ve been getting my arms around a response.
    If your “go slow” advice was directed at the emotional aspects, I want to make it clear that I am not now or ever replacing M in that way. I am not ever going to be pixie’s one and only true Dom. I am not going to be the love of her life. Certainly there are emotional aspects to any good D/s relationship, and I certainly want to establish a loving, caring, mutually respectful relationship. She is so loveable that Ms. Anna and I both love her madly already. As Ms. Anna put it, “what’s not to love?” But I am much too …. uh…. “experienced” shall we say, to be her life-long Dominant. I am a caretaker, an interim guide, and while I will be pleased to serve as her Dom as long as she wants and needs me in that role, we both know it is not forever. So emotionally, …well, hell – I can’t say its going slowly. The last week has been ZOOMING up and down and all over. But I understand the need for her to carve out some emotional space, for herself, and for someone special someday, and to help her with that transition as well. It is good advice, Sir, and I will help pixie follow it.
    (um… keep your resume up to date?)

  10. pixie…i am so sorry. You will be fine, just from the comment exchange here, i can see you are in very good hands. Take care my friend…chin up and keep moving forward.
    i have been through this myself…a little more than a year ago…if ever you want to chat…drop me an email…i would love to chat with you.

    lc

  11. I know this pain you are going through, I am going through the same. In the end it will be for the best. Time will heal. I send you much support and strength.

  12. pixie- please know that i am here for you always. i send all my love to both you and M to work through the sadness you are both feeling. i am glad that you have found friends in Ms. Anna and Richard and hope you can experience all you long for. keep your head up….xoxo

  13. I am so sorry to hear of the pain you and M must both be feeling. I know all-too-well that kind of pain.

    I will keep reading and supporting you.

  14. Pixie, i came to this a bit late being in Australia land… but i feel for you and i am sending support through the intarwebs, hopefully you can feel a hug right now. I hope you feel supported over there in America land and it does seem that Richard and Anna are looking after you, you’re lucky. I would echo the ‘don’t rush into anything’ statement of DrDom, let yourself grive and feel, but… i’m very glad you have support there.

    –[milla]

  15. Oh pixie…

    my heart goes out to you, my heat goes out to you. you are a strong girl..very strong..and will be well in the end. my heart goes to M also, it is never easy for either side.

    Tread softly and wisely…do what is right for you.

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