It was my first time alone with him and I didn’t even try to pretend I wasn’t terrified. I could have tried to act very brave but I had the feeling he would have seen right through it. So I didn’t bother. His room was dark, and the sun was just barely creeping in around the heavy curtains. He pulled me closer to him and told me to turn around. When I did he brushed his hand across the back of my neck and ran slow fingers over each shoulder blade. He whispered to me that I was so beautiful, so tiny, like a little toy he said as his fingers continued to tease my skin. I closed my eyes and allowed his fingers to calm me. I wanted to relax against him but was still so unsure of what he expected. There was a definite hint of expectation in the air. It was a charged moment as if the very air surrounding us was holding it’s breath to see what would come next.
I was trembling by the time his hands rested on my upper arms and he set me slightly away from him. Richard had inadvertantly found a favorite spot of mine and everytime his fingers delved into the soft spot right on the back of my neck my knees threatened to buckle. I was in Heaven as the fear lifted right out of me only to be replaced with a sweet acceptance and anticipation. He told me to remove my clothing. I slowly began to undress and I pretended he wasn’t watching my every move. Once I was naked he led me over to his bed and told me to lay on my tummy in the middle. He patiently began to show me what he would expect from me. He wanted me on my hands and knees, face down. He asked me to arch my back and keep my bottom in the air. This was to be ‘the position’ and he asked me not to move. I had realized before that when Richard asked Ms. Anna to do things, he didn’t demand. He asked. He expected submission not struggle. If you are submissive to Richard you are compelled to obey him partly because of his expectation that you will do nothing short of that. I find that in itself incredibly erotic.
The bad thing about this position is the vulnerability of it. There I was naked, face down in the bed and he was standing somewhere behind me. His hands began to explore my body. His touch was gentle and insistent. He told me that he was going to use the same paddle on me that M had asked Ms. Anna to use. It felt very different coming from Richard. When he first started it was slow. Quick little blows that hinted at more. I loved it. It started to get harder to tolerate- it seemed he was concentrating on one little area. The paddle would touch everywhere but it always came back to that one spot. I was really starting to feel uncomfortable and still he continued. At one point when I just knew I couldn’t take another second of that horrible, insistent, wooden paddle I brought my arm around to block him. It was a rare moment of weakness on my part but at that second I felt as if I could take no more. He caught my arm and pressed it against my back for a fleeting second. I held my breath, because I just did not know what his response would be to what I had tried to do. There was no anger in his voice but it was edged with a hit of warning that told me he would not tolerate what I had done. He leaned down and his voice was close and soft in my ear. He said, “I will allow you to get away with doing that this time because I do not know your body yet. Don’t do it again.”
I had never felt so ‘warned’ in all my life. It was then that I realized what I had in Richard. Ms. Anna had once described him to me as a man who is in charge from the second he walks into the room. She had told me he was demanding, that he expected total compliance. She told me to obey him explicitly. It was the first time I doubted my ability to meet his expectations. It was also at that second when I felt that familiar urge to please. I wanted to please him, I wanted to submit to him. I realized that it already meant more to me than seeing what I could take I truly wanted to please him. That knowledge coupled with the stark need and desire I felt for this man gave me the strength to continue. It gave me the strength to obey him.
Finally the paddle ceased and he told me to roll over onto my back. I was so hot and almost frantic with need. When he finally touched me it was all I could do to not instantly orgasm. The pleasure tries so hard to cover up the pain but it never quite erases it. Instead it blends like the loveliest of watercolors across the page. He told me I was not to orgasm without asking him first. He wanted to know when I was close- he told me to tell him. I was so close and told him so. He watched my face as my body writhed beneath his hand. How did he know? How did he know just how to touch me? How did he know his encouraging words would put me over the edge? I arched into his hand and at the same time my mouth opened to ask him, “May I please…” and I couldn’t finish. And it was OK that I couldn’t find the words because he was already telling me to cum for him. It was so intense and I felt my muscles contract and clench around his fingers. I felt close to being out of control as my orgasm seemed to go on and on. I love when there is no clear beginning and only a whisper of an ending before your body begs for more pleasure. I wasn’t finished yet and either was Richard. In my post orgasmic haze I hadn’t realized he had briefly left my side. He returned with a small cane and was already tapping at my breasts with it. My nipples are ultra sensitive anyway but right after that intense of an orgasm I knew I was in for a quite an experience. Yet he didn’t linger long at my nipples before moving to sit towards the end of the bed. He traced the cane down between my breasts and over my belly button. It lingered there for the briefest of seconds before going lower. He told me to open my legs. My knees slowly parted and I watched him. My eyes went from his eyes, to the cane and back again. I knew what he was planning, what he wanted. I fought the urge to ask him to wait, to beg him to not touch me there with the cane. Even as my mouth tried to form the words my body arched against the caress of the cane as it urged my legs wider apart. I realized I wanted it…. as bad as it was going to be I wanted it.
And so I didn’t ask, and he didn’t stop. What followed deserves it’s own post. But not tonight. I have full day tomorrow and get to spend part of it with him. I think I’ll need my rest.
Goodnight for now.