I have told Pixie that her blog is her own and that I will not dictate what should be on it and what should not (with one exception that has already been dealt with). I told her I will occasionally suggest topics I would find interesting, but she is under no direction to adopt my suggestions. I also might occasionally ask her to write something about a particular topic, but she is not obligated to post that writing to the public. In short, it is pixie’s blog, and I do my best to keep my Dominant attitude away from it. I, like you, enjoy reading it, and I honestly never know what to expect. I have definitely been surprised on occasion.
With that background, I asked her, in the most non-Dominant way I could muster, and telling her over and over that she should not feel “directed” to post it, if I might write something for her blog, since I didn’t have one of my own, as long as my topic was consistent with the general subject matter of her writings. If you are reading this, then she agreed to do so.
Today, pixie asked me what would happen if she didn’t do what I asked her to do. She used as an example a situation during the scene we had just had where I had begun to tie her in a position of some vulnerability, and she had resisted. She was asking me what would have happened if she had just not done it. In response to the question, I said that I would do just what I had done in the scene – if it was something she was afraid of, or something that I knew she was finding particularly difficult, something new and a bit scary, I would slow the scene, talk her through it, reassure her, comfort her as needed, until she got to where I wanted her to be.
She said something along the lines of “so it is always just going to happen no matter what?” I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she went on to say that in the past she always knew exactly what would happen if she didn’t do as she was told or did something to displease her Dom. She said she felt that our relationship was a little fuzzy in that regard.
I am afraid I was still scratching my head over this. I told her that I wasn’t about to make rules for those situations where she didn’t do what I said because that possibility never occurred to me. No, even stronger: I do not recognize it as a possibility, that is not a possible outcome. Why would I even spend a minute thinking about that.
You will do what I want, every time.
I just didn’t understand the question.
Rules for what happens if you just don’t do it?
What? Does not compute.
I am thinking this came up because our little pixie likes certainty, so she likes rules. She hates it when the answer is “depends,” or “whatever makes sense.” She likes A or B. Doesn’t matter which; just one or the other. I have about two rules in my arsenal.
Rule 1: be obedient, do as you are told.
Rule 2: unless I whisper in your ear “are you OK?”, in which case you should answer truthfully, during a scene the answer is always “Yes.”
It isn’t that hard to state the question so that the answer is always “yes” nor is it a difficult concept to understand.
So, two rules: obey, and never say “No.”
But to keep our little pixie feeling moored, we have developed some other rules governing certain aspects of her conduct. However, I am not going to start listing infractions with sentencing guidelines for violations. Ms. Anna and I both get that. Now Pixie gets it too. And there was no need to develop a consequence for the situation where my expectations are not met.
With apologies to Descartes, I expect, therefore I get.