restraints · Richard · Richard and Ms. Anna

Expectations- A note from Richard

I have told Pixie that her blog is her own and that I will not dictate what should be on it and what should not (with one exception that has already been dealt with). I told her I will occasionally suggest topics I would find interesting, but she is under no direction to adopt my suggestions. I also might occasionally ask her to write something about a particular topic, but she is not obligated to post that writing to the public. In short, it is pixie’s blog, and I do my best to keep my Dominant attitude away from it. I, like you, enjoy reading it, and I honestly never know what to expect. I have definitely been surprised on occasion.

With that background, I asked her, in the most non-Dominant way I could muster, and telling her over and over that she should not feel “directed” to post it, if I might write something for her blog, since I didn’t have one of my own, as long as my topic was consistent with the general subject matter of her writings. If you are reading this, then she agreed to do so.

Today, pixie asked me what would happen if she didn’t do what I asked her to do. She used as an example a situation during the scene we had just had where I had begun to tie her in a position of some vulnerability, and she had resisted. She was asking me what would have happened if she had just not done it. In response to the question, I said that I would do just what I had done in the scene – if it was something she was afraid of, or something that I knew she was finding particularly difficult, something new and a bit scary, I would slow the scene, talk her through it, reassure her, comfort her as needed, until she got to where I wanted her to be.

She said something along the lines of “so it is always just going to happen no matter what?” I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she went on to say that in the past she always knew exactly what would happen if she didn’t do as she was told or did something to displease her Dom. She said she felt that our relationship was a little fuzzy in that regard.

I am afraid I was still scratching my head over this. I told her that I wasn’t about to make rules for those situations where she didn’t do what I said because that possibility never occurred to me. No, even stronger: I do not recognize it as a possibility, that is not a possible outcome. Why would I even spend a minute thinking about that.

 You will do what I want, every time.

 I just didn’t understand the question.

 Rules for what happens if you just don’t do it?

What? Does not compute.

I am thinking this came up because our little pixie likes certainty, so she likes rules. She hates it when the answer is “depends,” or “whatever makes sense.” She likes A or B. Doesn’t matter which; just one or the other. I have about two rules in my arsenal.

Rule 1: be obedient, do as you are told.

Rule 2: unless I whisper in your ear “are you OK?”, in which case you should answer truthfully, during a scene the answer is always “Yes.”

It isn’t that hard to state the question so that the answer is always “yes” nor is it a difficult concept to understand.

So, two rules: obey, and never say “No.”

Pretty simple.

But to keep our little pixie feeling moored, we have developed some other rules governing certain aspects of her conduct. However, I am not going to start listing infractions with sentencing guidelines for violations. Ms. Anna and I both get that. Now Pixie gets it too. And there was no need to develop a consequence for the situation where my expectations are not met.

With apologies to Descartes, I expect, therefore I get.

6 thoughts on “Expectations- A note from Richard

  1. Simple, direct. Works for me…especially if we’re now paraphrasing the classics. This will be fun and interesting to follow. I applaud you.

  2. Hi Richard, very nice to meet you!

    I really enjoyed your post. I hope you make guest appearances more often!

    My Master is the same way. Disobedience is not an option, unless I have a very good reason, and even then, with proper respectfullness I can make it not disobedient — a simple, “Sir, this might not be a good idea right now because of A and B” or well, if I have trouble during a scene, I almost never need to say anything about it because he notices immediately.

    But I very much understand Pixie’s need for rules and things being black and white. It’s a confusing, scary world, and to sink into the safety of a regulated world can be so comforting!

    At first I was a bit upset when my Master didn’t make rules for everything, but told me I was expected to simply give him obedience and do my best all the time. But I have grown into it, and now I see that it leaves our relationship open to growth, and makes dealing with unforseen issues so much easier — the rules I need are right there all along: “Be obedient and do my best at all times.”

    Anyway, nice to meet you, and all happiness to you and Pixie!

  3. pixie- what Richard said is what i follow…..always be obedient (albeit i do try and sometimes fail) and always answer yes….just remember that He has your best interests at heart and is learning you just like you are Him.

  4. what, no naughty list?
    I’m with Ron on this one. This will be interesting to follow. Except I have to wonder Sir Richard if our little pixie will prove as obedient as you expect.

    Some of us almost hope not.

  5. drdom, rest assured that even if she is absolutely obedient, as she will be, she will still have fascinating stories to tell.

    And thank you, geltsgirl, it is nice to meet you too.

    It should be interesting to follow. Even I can’t wait for the next installment on the blog, and am looking forward to the next installment in real time. If I may move from paraphrasing the classics to paraphrasing the classic rockers(and I think pixie would agree), what a short strange trip its been.

  6. drdom…disobedience has nothing to do with it! Don’t you get it? Who needs a naughty list?!? Richard is going to do all the evil things he wants to do to our Pixie whether OR NOT she is totally obedient or a true brat. (Here’s a hint, Pixie…Richard doesn’t like brats!)

    There’s just something special about a Dominant who just EXPECTS obedience and who doesn’t secretly wish a submissive would goof just so he can beat her. Not every Dom can do this…it takes someone special. Of course all Doms can expect obedience, but only those who truly GET IT will GET IT. It has a little something to do with respect. I betcha Richard gets that obedience he expects. Just watch. Disappointing him is worse than ANY punishment he could possibly deliver. Take it from me!

    And to make things really interesting…we get to read all about those evil things! Ok, I’ll admit…I even get to be part of those evil things, and lord knows I’ve been on the other end of his whip enough to know…what’s gonna come, is gonna come. Come what may. Stay tuned!

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