bdsm · caning · knife play · over the knee · restraints · Richard · spanking

Over my edge.

Typically when I experience something I am fairly confident that I can write about it. I am usually able to get my experiences and feelings down without too much effort. I am not so sure tonight if that will be the case. Something happened to me tonight that has never happened to me before.

I spent most of the day with Richard. I was tense and running late and by the time I finally made it to him I was more than a little frazzled. There was traffic and family stuff and my mind wasn’t where it should have been. Richard is pretty intuitive. He was calm and collected and did everything he could to put me in the same state of mind. He held me when I walked in and his words were soothing and sweet. Finally he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled me over his knee. Richard told me the previous day to wear a skirt, panties, bra and a top when we met. He told me he wanted to undress me. **sigh**
Anyway, I wore a short white skirt, white boy short panties and a cute top. He flipped up my skirt and began to spank me over my panties. It was so nice. As it grew in intensity my mood began to shift. So by the time he pulled my panties down I was in a more positive frame of mind. This was the first time he spanked me over his knee. It was by no means an easy spanking. It was hard and he had amazing coverage. Plus he knew just when to gentle his hand. Nice. It was a wonderful, wonderful OTK  spanking. Thank you Richard. 🙂

Afterwards he told me he had a gift for me. Actually two gifts- three counting the new cane. (You are spoiling me)

 The first gift I will talk about perhaps in a different post because as amazing as that gift was it was overshadowed by gift #2.

Gift # 2 was a knife. A long stainless steel blade. I have it out right now looking at it. It is heavy in my hand and scary to look at. Richard and I had talked about edge play and I know most people consider knife play edge play. To me though edge play is anything that pushes the boundaries of the individual. What is edge to one is not edge play to the next. I also think a person’s reactions to an experience should determine if it is ‘edge play’ or not. For example I could have been indifferent to the experience- hardly edge play.

Of course, I was no where close to being indifferent to his gift. I can’t remember if he had bound me before showing me the knife or not. So much of the experience is fuzzy to me. I remember being tied ‘spread eagle’ across the bed. My arms and legs stretched as tightly as they could go. I was on my back and was naked.
Please be patient if the accounting of this experience seems to have holes in it. It does. I hope Richard will help explain why that is and what happened.
My last focused memory was him showing me the knife. I remember feeling it glide across my body. I can still hear the soft scraping sound it made and how he allowed the tip to press into my skin. I felt it along the curve of my hip and across my stomach. I felt it against my nipples and down my arms.
I never looked at him or the knife. I was too busy trying to stay on top of the pleasure and the panic and the fear. I felt the knife between my legs and it pressed slightly into my skin. He would apply more pressure at times. I could actually feel the tip scraping at me and I was almost certain he pierced my skin. I felt myself begin to glide backwards. I couldn’t open my eyes, I couldn’t speak, I barely remembered to breath. Breathing was the one thing I concentrated on doing.
 I felt the knife at my throat and he held it there. It may have been ten minutes or ten seconds. I do not know. I felt the weight of the knife rest across my throat and with every breath I felt the steel rise and fall. I was vaguely aware of him touching me. I am not sure if he spoke to me. Everything else is fog. Richard told me what I missed and I hope he will share it.

I became aware of my surroundings after he had untied me. I remember being held tightly to his chest and his hand cradling my head. I remember at one point him pulling the covers across me and holding me even tighter. I have never just ‘left’ like that. It was the most intense experience of my life.

Although our time together was not over I never fully collected myself. We had a lovely dinner and wonderful wine and still something was cloudy in my head. Something never quite allowed me to focus fully for the rest of the evening. I came really close to pulling myself back together but that involved some pretty hard cane strokes over my panties right before we left for dinner. It was scary that I was able to sink into that deep of a sub space. I am in awe of what I could have taken while in that state of mind. At dinner I even asked Richard to imagine the caning I could take while far away in that foggy place.

It was truly an amazing experience. It’s too bad I missed half of it. So tell me Richard…what exactly did I miss?

And thank you btw..for another amazing adventure.

13 thoughts on “Over my edge.

  1. You may recall from pixie’s first post about Ms. Anna and me that I showed her a small knife, and scraped her skin with it. She loved it (she seems to love everything). Her description of the knife event is accurate as far as it goes. She did miss the best part however. And NO, I did NOT break the skin.
    At one point, as I was slowly dragging the knife around her, I was playing with her “down there” (as she says), and she was quite aroused, I laid the knife across her throat, flat, so she could feel the weight of it. She did not move except to breath. I asked her (and this is the part she does not remember) if she could cum without moving, and she said yes, so I told her she could cum but that she should be still when she did. Normally, pixie’s orgasms are thrashing affairs, lots of head turning from side to side. So as I continued to stroke her, I held the knife still by her throat but ready to move it. Ms. Anna may recall similar experiences. She never moved her head, she never looked at me, she just came and only moved from the waist down. After her orgasm, I put the knife aside, hugged her for a second, and then untied her as she had been stretched for quite a while. She immediately rolled into a ball and into my arms where she was so still for so long I thought in her exhaustion she had fallen asleep. Finally, she began to come back to the world I was in where I was waiting for her, she said “wow.” Many more minutes passed before she was ready to talk about it. It was then I learned she did not remember the question, the answer or the orgasm.
    After a few more minutes of recovery, she laid on her tummy and asked me to do it on her back. She has an incredibly sensitive erogenous back and neck. The knife on her back sent her right back up into never land. I think she might remember that orgasm, but since she doesn’t mention it, maybe not. It involved her being face down, me being behind her, and the knife on her back between us. No small animals were harmed during this scene.
    I think the point for pixie was that, in spite of her telling me that she hoped I was bringing a knife today, it was still out at her “edge.” (Thank you geltsgirl for the link earlier today – when I read the article, I knew immediately that it was even more relevant to today than to the post you linked it to!). I never cut her, I never even dragged the blade over her with the cutting edge down. I just used it like a scraper, and occassionally pushed the tip down a bit as I was moving it around flat against her body. But it is a bit scary, and the sound of it is scary, and we found a new place today. I believe that her legs may still be a bit rubbery – when last I heard from her, she had just taken a bubble bath and was climbing into bed. I hope she comments more on this subject as she gets her head around it more. For my part, in all my years of Domming, I have never seen a sub go so far away for so long. What an amazing afternoon.

  2. Oh, how lovely I left that article with such good timing!

    My Master and I had a super hot scene today, too (I’ll write about it tommorow in my blog) and I think with all of us having such hot scenes going on we must have made the world spin faster for a bit, or something! 😀

    I’m a bit rubber-legged, too…. It’s lovely!

  3. It was an amazing afternoon. I went to bed physically and emotionally exhausted. Richard and I both recognized that it was perhaps my exhaustion that made it possible for me to slip so far away. I’m not sure.
    It was a heady combination of sensuality, fear and well for lack of a better word, terror. It is strange because I knew I was safe. I knew he wouldn’t cut me, maybe someday he will but I am not there yet. I am in awe that my brain was able to do what it did. Somewhere in my head there is a force greater than my conciosness. It shut me down to protect me, yet another part of my brain was still able to 1) control my movements and speech and 2) allow me to orgasm.
    At one point yesterday and I have to smile when I say this because he always says the nicest things Richard was beside me and he was just touching me. He told me “you are an amazing creature” I being the modest little sub that I am just kinda inwardly melted and rolled my eyes. But we ARE amazing. What happened was amazing. I went from being so tightly bound across his bed that I couldn’t so much as move an inch with any of my limbs to be curled in a protective ball against him. And I have no recollection of the events that put me there.

    I remember after must have been a long time of being held like that slowly coming around. I had that white noise sensation in my head. My body tingled and I still felt quite swept away. I do remember rolling onto my stomach. I turned my head away from Richard and I saw the knife on the edge of the bed. I remember my reflection in it as I rubbed my finger across the blade. As I stetched out Richard was stroking my back up and down from my hair line to the curve of my bottom. I’m not sure and don’t quote me on this but I think he loves touching me. 🙂
    I asked him to touch me with the knife on my back. I think too, and I’m not sure but he became terribly excited when I asked for more. 🙂
    This type of play and the feelings afterwards I fear are addictive. Therapeutic for sure.
    I feel focused and centered like I haven’t in quite awhile. I woke up this morning hopeful that the pain of the last couple of weeks can fully fade.
    I know I could say more about yesterday but I either can’t or don’t want to yet. It was amazing.
    I also should say that Richard was incredibly intuitive. He recognized where I was and what I needed and that made all the difference.

  4. So far so fast. Don’t strip away all of her innocence too soon Sir Richard. It is part of her sweet charm. Yet……
    What an experience. I have a penchant for knife play. When I popped in here this morning I was not expecting to read this.
    I am willing to relocate, across country if necessary.

  5. It was Ms. Anna who got me interested in knife play. I remind her of that when she gives me a hard time about some of the scars she bears. It is really an intense scene for both the sub and the Dom. The control one has with a bound up submissive and a knife in one’s hand – well it is heady stuff.

    That is more good advice, Dr. Dom. I think we are ready to slow down a bit and do something normal like really heavy caning. Something familiar, something we both like, something where the intensity involves a place we’ve been before. That, and a week where one or both of us is traveling, will help our pixie mellow out a bit. And there is still plenty of innocence left in her, believe me.

    I mean it sincerely that I value your advice, Dr.Dom. I confess that it is moving so fast that all our heads are spinning. Yet I am having some difficulty figuring out what “too soon” means in this case. I know there are some things my pixie is not ready for, and maybe never will be. But when we discuss what might be next in her learning process, her eyes light up and she says oh I want to try that. In the rare case she puts up some resistance, a conversation later and the resistance is gone. Example, we talked about sensory deprivation, wrapping her head up in a cloth, ear plugs, restraints. She said she didn’t want to do it – she wants to experience everything through all her senses and didn’t think she’d like it. But when I suggested that, since she had never tried it, she might find that having all the senses removed except the sense of touch might make her focus on the touch really intense, and ‘oh, that sounds like fun’ comes out of her. She is a sponge – soaking up all the experiences I can pull out of my bag of tricks. I feel like I am leading her out of the wilderness into a brave new world of ideas that never occurred to her. So, I take your advice to heart, (and Ms. Anna has been passing out the same advice, btw) yet I have to go with my instincts at the time, with the specific activity in mind, with her reaction to it written acrossed her face, her whole body for that matter. So far I’ve been right – and she has emerged out the otherside of every experience in a very positive place. She truly is an amazing creature. I want you to know I share your concern and am doing my best to bring her along in a safe, controlled fashion, making sure she feels good about it in the end. Its a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

  6. pixiepie- i have told you a number of times that i am experiencing things through your journey and am exhausted just by reading this wonderful account of edge play and sub space. i personally have never hit sub space and long for it desperately….to feel myself floating away….being pushed like only He can.

    i am so happy that you have Richard and Ms. Anna to guide you as they have you in their hearts just like so many of us…i look forward to more…as always.

  7. i know about the holes, in remembering what happened. The first 2 sessions with JB are not recorded, because i couldn’t remember what happened. Not even enough to make any sense of it. So it is left unsaid. He still lets me float away, but brings me back quickly…so i can remember.


  8. oh my goodness! I’m one of those girls who gets excited at any new idea or suggestion too! I totally empathize. I’ve heard a little bit about knife play, but up until this morning, no specific scenes..we’ll wait a few days, but this may go in my log to my Owner of my fantasies and desires if it surfaces again in my quiet moments. Though I’m not honestly sure its something I’d be at all ready for. Thanks for sharing! That was beautiful!

  9. Wonderful post. I loved every detail of the comments as well. I have done knife play a few times. The knife was deliberately dulled because it wasn’t for use as a knife, but as a ceremonial tool. The knife was used in ways that Richard described on my skin but eventually, it was inserted vaginally each time we played with it…and I also came when that was done. Intense is a good word for it.

  10. Alright, enough already. Certainly at the pace you have been going you have something new for me (us). I am finding that I am quite distracted by wondering what you are doing.
    Sir Richard- can you not ask our sweet pixie to write us something. Surely you have kept her busy- she must have some new adventure to torture me with.

    When I suggested slowing down I didn’t mean stop.

    Impatiently yours my sweet.
    Dr. Dom

  11. She does have adventures on which she has not reported. Soon I hope she will share them with us. She is having dinner with Ms. Anna Wednesday, and Ms. Anna has some very interesting things planned. I can hardly wait to hear about it.

  12. Hi…Well, i have to admit that knife play is not a favorite of mine. I can’t get past the symbolism. Having said that, the dangerous exchange here is extremely erotic and arousing. I LOVE a woman with balls, with the courage to push herself out there. I am very appreciative of the fact that your new dom is respectful enough and still sensuous enough to give you what you want. YOU, my dear, are one of the most exciting women I’ve seen in a very long time. May there be more out here like you….:)

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