bdsm · bondage · breath play · caning · D/s · knife play · Richard · spanking

Ramblings of a sleepy submissive

I am continually amazed at the way my body responds and accepts pain…humiliation….more pain…and of course more pleasure than one person should be allowed to have, all with this inward gratifying sense of acceptance. So many new experiences lately have just left my world feeling full and loaded with wonderment both at what I can do and what I can allow to be done to me. I am amazed at my ability to ‘feel’…I am amazed at how centered my world feels right now in so may ways. I feel a sense of structured peace that I can only contribute to where my submission has led me. Yet…I spin. Up and down with so many questions…days I focus on the loss…days I throw myself 100% into the here and now.Approaching peace comes with it’s own set of problems. Yet I have to admit…this is a good problem to have. I am on the brink of being quite overwhelmed. My mind is working hard to keep up with the sensations my body is craving…almost as if I am peaking somehow. A long steady peak…make sense. Probably not. 🙂The other day Richard had me reaching above my head leaning into the wall. He had already undressed me and was giving me a hard hand spanking right there in the living room. His hand was coming down hard and fast…and I felt breathless from the urgency behind the spanking. Sometimes Richard is like that, he’ll start a scene right away without a word. Other times there is light conversation and closeness before…either way I feel pulled in. Heavily pulled in… almost to the point of being weak with need and desire and a longing that will only be satisfied when he decides.

I tried to keep the small grunts and whimpers from escaping my mouth. He had told me once that he didn’t mind me making sounds like that during a scene as long as they didn’t sound angry…he doesn’t want to hear…..Ouch! or Ohhh!! in an angry ‘who do you think you are to treat me so’ tone. I understand that. Of course anger is the last thing I feel when his hands are on me. So after a few more minutes the moans and sighs of pleasure flowed freely from my body and I felt wetness on my thighs. I felt my body lift towards his hand as if inviting the blows that seemed to not stop. I didn’t want them to stop, I wanted the pain associated with his spanking as much as I needed something to calm the needing ache in my body.

Finally he stopped and he ordered me to my knees. “Crawl to the bedroom” he told me. I was shocked when he said this because he had never asked me to do something like that. It felt natural though as I obeyed him only looking up at him questioningly one time. I imagined him watching my retreating very red bottom as I crawled as gracefully as I could down the long carpeted hallway into the bedroom.

I won’t take up so much time to explain everything that went on but I will highlight some things that I am still rolling over in my head. Throughout the scene I often found his hand around my throat..or even better he would cover my mouth and nose and press down until I literally could not breath through his hand. My first instinct was to panic as it got harder to catch a small wisp of air but I fought that and allowed my body to float backwards. All I felt was my heartbeat. It was loud in my ears and I felt it with my body. I pulsed. As his hand tightened across my mouth his other hand was between my open legs bringing me to the brink of orgasm. Every loud beat of my heart was joined by a contraction of pleasure against his hand as I felt the hot wetness practically pour out of me. What followed was the most amazing intense series of orgasms I have ever experienced. Every time I thought it was over and I had caught my breath he pulled me back down into the breathless power exchange of his control.

I can’t explain the feeling of straining beneath another person’s hand for your next breath. I was overwhelmed with the deep feeling of submission that it took to allow him to control my breathing….the trust that I had felt with him almost from day one. That still amazes me…but what makes it so right and so real that although I offered my trust and submission freely to him he has earned it time and time again. Every time he gently brings me down after pushing my limitations or the care he takes with my body my trust in him grows. For the longest time I believed myself not capable of trusting anyone like this…other than Mark of course. Trust is necessary in this sort of relationship.

I want to write more about this day…so much happened. Maybe I’ll add later…I have a lot to think about tonight. So much I wasn’t expecting so soon…so intense. What am I doing!!

6 thoughts on “Ramblings of a sleepy submissive

  1. you are enjoying pixiepie….you are on an adventure….and sharing it with all of us….you are experiencing all sorts of things….and loving every minute of it, as you should. xoxo

  2. I did watch your retreating bottom – it gave me great pleasure. Next time you will need to crawl with a bit of an arch in your back so my view is even more enhanced.

    For my part, I will never forget the sensation of feeling your almost immediate pulsing orgasms every time I put my hand over your mouth and nose. I cut off your air and within seconds you began to cum, your body straining to cum in time with your straining to breathe – and then allowing a breath or two – and again my hand on your face, and again you would cum. How can you explain that your body, in its most stressful state of trying to breathe and being unable to draw a breath, can still find the strength to cum so hard? And do it again and again? I have never seen anything like it, pixie. Your body is an inexplicable delight.

  3. shame on you Sir Richard, would you really smother our little submissive? Shouldn’t Ms. Anna be monitoring all this?

    Just joshing you, I agree with darkpixie you are on quite an adventure. Enjoy. I will as imagine such a delight beneath my own hand.

    I’ll be over here examining my own life for whatever fatal flaws that caused me to not be as fortunate.

    A final thought for Richard and I must apoligize (to pixie angel)for my crudeness but there really is not another way to say it- can’t you just fuck her already Richard.

  4. DrD, I am shocked that you would suggest that I should have carnal knowledge of our cute little pixie pie. She is much too young and innocent to be having sex.

  5. Right.
    Young. I’ll buy that.
    Innocent. Damn. I guess I have to buy that too. In my experience some people though rarely, remain innocent even after learning all the pleasures of the flesh. An even rarer occurence is when this person is a sub.

    I guess this comment is going no where fast.

    Not trying to encourage the corruption of innocent young submissives but for my sake if not your own. Just fuck her already.

    And pixie- take notes. We want to hear all about it.

  6. LOL – DrD you are too transparent. Of course you want to hear all about it and pictures too!

    Your comment on retaining innocence is interesting. Our pixie is less innocent than when I met her, but she is still pretty innocent. I continue to come up with ideas that make her eyes get even bigger than they already are – as if my idea had never, ever occurred to her. And by and large, I believe it had never occurred to her. I guess it helps that she just has the most innocent face ever. To the extent that innocenece is just trusting, then I hope she retains it and that I never do anything to violate that trust. But to the extent that innocence is just absence of knowledge, it has to slip away as she learns more and more about her body and its capabilities. In the meantime, let us enjoy her innocence and the pleasure it offers us.

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