bdsm · bondage · caning · D/s · knife play · Richard · sensory deprivation · spanking

Cut

Another first. Another day with Richard.

 It was just the two of us and he was trying to bring me back down to earth after an intense scene. With him I have a tendency to drift away into subspace deeper than I could have ever thought possible. Not that every experience is that edgy or intense but the ones that are can mess with my head for days afterwards. It is actually scary in some ways that he is capable of putting me there to that extent and that I am able to emerge unscathed (ok…a little scathed) from the experience.

I do not like to be blindfolded. I have learned that rope bondage is my best friend… that there is nothing quite like a bamboo cane….. but don’t cover my eyes. It scares me. Don’t ask why cause I am not quite sure. So, always the sadist…Richard decided to experiment a little with sensory deprivation. He wrapped my head up with a large bandage (don’t worry Ron…I could breath 🙂 ) . I just realized I am not 100% sure what happened after that, I know he spanked me. That it was hard and that at the time I didn’t feel too bothered by having my head wrapped. Like I said, it wasn’t tight. I could still hear and speak if I wanted to plus his demeanor as it is often is was encouraging, supportive and watchful. I found I was able to concentrate more on the pain of the spanking. I know we’ll explore this further, it was exciting and next time my ears will be plugged and he said I should plan on being gagged. As this was going on I felt something building up inside myself as he removed the wrap. Please be patient as I try to describe it.Something was in front of me and I didn’t know what it was. Only that is was there and that it was right out of my grasp. I had this numb, empty feeling across my skin like I needed to be touched. No, more than just touched….I needed to feel my body. I realized at that point that while my sense of hearing was muffled and my mouth was covered the only two sense that were lost to me were my sense of sight and my ‘sense of expression’. Yes, I know this isn’t a real sense but to me it is. In scenes such as these you have to be able to communicate your needs through your face and body….I know he watches mine closely as he gives and takes pleasure to/from my body. I lost that.So with those senses gone I felt frustrated and had an almost dark desire to have some sort of sensory input. Poor Richard, for once he was clueless with what to do for me. He had just obviously pleasured me and yet there I was against him whimpering knowing I needed something but unable to put into words what I needed.

“What do you want.” he asked me not so much with a question in his voice but with a ‘just tell me’  so I can help you through this.  I didn’t know and I tried the best I could to put it into words. I remember rolling back towards him and trying very hard to meet his eye when I said it…”I need you to hurt me.”

As I spoke it became obvious to me that was exactly what I needed. I need to feel something I told him. I needed a heavy dose of physical stimulation to the point of feeling I could have allowed him to hurt me anyway he desired. And again…poor Richard. He was trying to sooth me and bring me back down to earth (we had a dinner date) and I was pressing against him asking for pain. I remember him half sitting up and one hand on the back of my neck pressing me against the bed and his other hand landed a series of hard spanks across my bottom. I think it was the hardest I had ever been hit and I wasn’t able to process it all or any of it as pain. I was still deep enough into subspace where it was all pleasure which ordinarily would be a good thing but today, and this is probably due to the time I spent with my senses lost, I craved the pain. I resented the pleasure that filled me every time his hand made contact with my skin.

He knew it wasn’t quite what I needed. I needed something more, something harder, something sure to scare me out of subspace and bring me the pain my body so obviously required. He rolled me over onto my back and looked down at me. His eyed had darkened and I think he realized we weren’t going to dinner anytime soon. “Get me the knife.”

Four words. And I don’t remember getting up and getting it for him.

I was again placed on my tummy and he had the knife against my bottom just teasing and scraping softly allowing the edge to press into my skin. I heard his voice, alwyas expressive, in my ear but I don’t know what he was saying. I felt him press the sharp edge against me and drag it smoothly and slowly across my skin pressing in deep enough where I thought he had surely cut me. He did it a few other time in that exact way and each time I felt my skin pull and rebel against the knife never allowing it access, never allowing it to break my skin. “Roll over'” he whispered.

He ran the knife down between my breasts and around each nipple , never pressing in hard enough to cut me. I watched it on my skin. I knew he was going to cut me. I had a sense that it was coming so when he rested the blade just above my nipple I willed myself to relax. I felt the blade press into my skin, I felt a moment of pain and then the sensation of having the knife pull through my skin overwhelmed me. I remember thinking….Oh my God…I don’t believe he actually cut me. Now as he reads this he is most likely laughing because he says it isn’t truly a cut – though I sit here days later and have the mark still. To me, it is a cut. To him…well it looks like my cat got a little kinky.

The intensity of the knife scene though only heightened my longing for a pain experience. I didn’t have to even tell him this. Richard knew. As I admired my cut…a.k.a. ‘scratch’ he was getting the bamboo cane. He had me roll back over onto my stomach and he sat by my side. He told me he was going to give me three strokes with the cane. He said they were going to be extremely hard. I pushed my arms out in front of me and pressed my head down into the pillow. One, two, three…hard, hard, fast strokes of the pain. Low strokes, almost at the curve where butt meets thigh and as hard as he has ever caned me. I was in heaven. I turned and looked up at him…”Please” I said. “Please give me three more.” And he did, as hard as the first three and three more turned into six and then nine until I was writhing with pleasure and pain. It was perfect. I was in such a submissive state of mind and the feeling of pleasure I felt knowing I had pleased him so much added to it.

I am seeing him today again and I have no idea what the day will bring. Only that I am so thankful I am having these experiences with him. I am truly lucky. 😉

10 thoughts on “Cut

  1. Good Morning to you. I read this post and walked away. Now I am back and it is still here.
    Sir Richard. I have to ask if your own skin is black and blue. Surely it must be for as many times as you must pinch yourself.
    First choking and now more knife play. We are moving quite along, aren’t we?

    dear pixie…what courage it must take to ask for pain, to recognize your need and again to ask for it. And you say you are the lucky one.
    Make sure Sir Richard keeps your ‘cuts’ more like ‘scratches’.
    Be careful and be safe.

  2. It was a scratch, I’m telling you. It didn’t even bleed. It was just a little scratch like if your cat scratched you or you got too close to a rose bush. Honestly, I was super careful.

    And it didn’t even work, by the way – it obviously wasn’t what she was looking for – it was much too sub-spacey. She needed that cane. It brought here back to her “senses,” so to speak. She said she needed to feel something, to feel her body. The cane brought her back.

    Now pixie, you’ve gone and gotten me in trouble with your readers and I’ve already gotten a lecture from Ms. Anna. And you didn’t even mention how pleased you were with the mark – oh, I guess you did mention that you were admiring it, but really – be honest, you love it!

    For me, the cut wasn’t the fascination of this scene – it was how you came out of the wrap with this huge need that you couldn’t put words to, and how together we searched for the answer until we found it – not the knife, but the cane. THAT was the perfect ending to the day.

  3. i’m a relatively new reader to this blog, but i love how familial it is…how many people are involved in Pixie’s submission and how everyone (including you Richard) out for her best interest. the energy off this blog has become one of my favorites!!

  4. Roper…it always works for me!

    Thank you butterfly…this has turned into quite a fascinating journey. An unexpected one.

    Richard…of course I was admiring it. I admire all the marks you leave on my body. 🙂

    Dr. Dom..thank you. And don’t worry I am safe. Richard is very careful and safe….. why just yesterday as he held a plastic bag over my head he stopped for a second to make sure I was still breathing. Very careful. 😉

  5. PIXIE!! Stop that! You ASKED me to do that to see what it would feel like! You KNOW that bag-over-the-head is not my thing.

    Oh, you…. I think you are in trouble. 🙂

    By the way, yesterday was super sweet – you have never been more submissive (well, except for that struggle over getting the bag off your head….). 🙂

    I am just sitting here smiling, but shaking my head – you are unbelievable. I’m going to have to change your name from pixie to vixen or something – something that indicates that incredibly brazen you are about teasing me! In public no less! Be careful or I will start telling everyone how many times you said “what’s this for” in the adult toy store.

  6. when i began the bdsm journey, i worried and continually asked myself where is the line? if this today, what tomorrow? will i always want more? five years later, still searching for the line. it’s all good.

  7. The illusive line….

    Ms. Anna, who turned me on to knives in the first place, and who I have cut (not scratched) on mulitple occassions, and I have discussed this -how many more times can I cut you, how manymore scars can I leave, how many more needles can I push into you, how many more… whatever? We haven’t found the answer, but we have not stopped asking the question. It seems like a good question to ask once in a while, if only to reaffirm both parties are on the same page. So far, it is all good.

  8. pixiepie- you are diving more and more into your submission…i love being along for the journey. you have experienced so many different things that i have only wondered about….you make me yearn for more. xoxo

  9. I read this post and I must admit my first instinct was to worry about you .. yet somehow it seems you are pushing your limits .. exploring .. doing what you want .. need ..

    Be safe precious girl
    ~Angel~

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