bdsm · D/s · focus · Richard


Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.  ~Mark Twain 

He was still wet from his shower when it happened. You know I believe there is something wonderful about a man right out of the shower. Hot…clean..damp. There is something even nicer about a man who comes to you directly from the shower and orders your mouth on his cock. This is where I found myself with Richard yesterday. As I write this Richard is beside me on the bed napping. I am sitting here in bed beside him resting on my tummy…..I am wearing a pair of boy-short panties that barely cover my bruises from yesterday. Notice I said I am on my tummy….

About an hour and a half ago we started watching a movie together before realizing we were both exhausted. (my fault). Richard suggested a nap and we both rested for about an hour. He woke me up a few minutes ago inadvertently and I am not quite sure how but here I am wide awake with him still half snoozing beside me. I woke him up long enough to ask permission to bring my laptop to bed to do some writing in my blog. I knew he would say yes. He had told me earlier that I would not be allowed to orgasm until I posted today…until I posted an accounting of one of the amazing events that we shared yesterday. Last night was the first time we spent the entire night together so when I woke up at 4 AM this morning I struggled to go back to sleep. I find that Richard is particularly insightful in the morning and we ended up talking for a couple of hours before one or both of us drifted back off to sleep. So the nap today……my fault. I am going to type quietly and try not to distract him as I lay here in my panties.So here I go… I said, he was still wet from the shower when he ordered me to put my mouth on his cock. He was beside me on the bed when he pulled my head down to him. I inhaled the clean manly scent of him as I opened my  mouth. I find this very submissive. I like having this part of my body taken and used as if it were any other entrance into my body. I think he must have liked what I was doing because he made really wonderful encouraging noises.

“Turn around for me….I want to see your cunt while you suck my cock.” As these words still played in my head I shifted so I was kneeling by his side and he had easy access to the rest of my body. This is just another reason why he and I are so compatible. I think that I could take most anything from him as long as he talks me through it. My reactions…my responses are closely tied into what I hear and see. I like direct, concise, black and white directions. He provides me with this.

His hands started exploring me and I felt his fingers enter me. I like how he presses deep inside of me… his thumb plays with my clit and his fingers smoothly glide in and out of my body. He sets an amazing rhythm with his hand and I follow it easily. I was embarrassingly wet and pressed myself eagerly into his hand. He has the most amazing hands. You can’t even imagine what he does to me…all my favorite little spots he has found.

I think I am one of those adults with ADD…because the closer he took me to the edge of release the less attention and focus I was able to pay to his cock. At one point the feelings between my legs were so intense I stopped sucking him and rested my head on his leg trying to catch my breath. The sensation of having his fingers explore my body coupled with the taste and feel of him deep inside my mouth overwhelmed me. I felt a flush creep up my back and I felt damp all over. I was so close to cumming…and I was just about ready to ask for permission. I felt two sharp slaps on my bottom…they were hard and I turned my head around and looked at him surprised. I wasn’t expecting that. He continued to spank me hard over and over…”Greedy little cunt.” he said between smacks. “What a greedy cunt you are. Focus on my cock not on my fingers.” I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I had lost myself in my own pleasure…..that it took him hurting me to remind me of my place. It was more than that too…it was the fact that he had the right to put me and keep me in my place that I found the most erotic. It was a reminder that he pleasured me because in doing so he pleasures himself….I pleasure him because that is what I am told to do. The pleasure I receive should be secondary and residual from his own. Do I get pleasure from pleasing him? Yes…so much. Yet even if I didn’t….even if he asked me to do something I thought that I couldn’t possibly do I would do so for the sake of his pleasure. It is the mark of a submissive….because in doing so…in putting his pleasure above my own – that is where the greatest pleasure is found for me. I am known to forget that sometimes. What a greedy cunt I can be. J

11 thoughts on “Greed

  1. Hi, honey…Your last paragraph is the perfect illustration on why, as much as I heartily enjoy many elements of D/s, I am not and could never be a classic Dom…As you got closer and closer to the orgasm you craved, I would have given you those same two slaps on your ass and said “You’d BETTER cum, you little slut. SHOW me you like what I’m doing to you!” It’s a stark and pretty basic philosophical difference. WHY should your orgasm be secondary? It still wouldn’t happen until I allowed it. I can still keep you in the mode I want and allow you your individualism. There is nothing wrong with that. Indeed, it’s a reinforcement of the fact that I would use the love and passion of the dominance as the tool to retain your respect, and not fear. The mark of MY submissive is to revel in me…not to defer to me with a constancy of a cuckold.

    That’s my story, Pixie, and I’m sticking to it. I now await the response of all those who won’t give room to another viewpoint.

  2. Welcome back Ron sweetie…..thank you for your honesty. I always welcome your opinions although they are different than what I know.
    What is so funny Ron is that my orgasm in Richard’s mind is not secondary….I hope I am not wrong here but in my mind one of his main objectives is to give me pleasure and ultimately an orgasm….the pleasure that I achieve from putting myself in that ‘secondary’ position is part of who makes me who I am not what Richard forces upon me. It is part of my submission.

    Your viewpoint I imagine will not differ too much from Richard’s on this particular topic…..and yours is always welcome here. 🙂

  3. Hi, Ron. For once we agree. What was really going on in my mind was not making her orgasm secondary. (as an aside, at a ratio of about 65 to 1, it would hard to say her orgasms are secondary!). I was really trying to do two things. First, I wanted her to slow down a bit and enjoy the moment. I have been trying to train her to stay at the brink instead of rushing headlong over the edge ….. repeatedly I might add. Second, I wanted to make her think about submission. I was trying to get her to focus on me as a pure act of submission, nothing more. Trust me, she had her orgasm, long before I did!

  4. “I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I had lost myself in my own pleasure…..that it took him hurting me to remind me of my place.”

    I’m sorry, Richard, we do not agree. At our age, we both know that the orgasm ratio is wide. To force anyone…no. Never mind. I just don’t agree with doing something to anyone that would spur them to express thoughts like this happily, willingly, to take away their own identity and replace it with slave-like mentality. And I can hear the chiding now…”Ron, it’s not like that….” Submission, as I have constantly shared, should never be confused with a lack of strength. To both of you — I don’t think I’ll ever agree. There is a kind of naivete to what is seeming to be imposed on one hand and stark arrogance on the other. What’s missing is honesty, to me. But….we could talk like this all day and stay at this impasse. I have left myself open enough for criticism. I promise I won’t bring it up again.

  5. What is missing is not honesty. What is missing is that pixie has invited me to play this role – nothing is “imposed,” nothing is ‘forced.” I just don’t know where you get those words.

    And as pixie is whispering in my ear, she isn’t replacing her identity – this IS her identity. Pixie is not naive at all. She is one of the most self-aware women I have ever known. She has known from childhood that she is submissive. And she is strong – I don’t even understand what that comment means. I certainly don’t confuse submission with lack of strength and neither does she.

    It isn’t me that you disagree with, Ron. It is with pixie’s very nature that you are disagreeing.

  6. Pixie-i do not know how i managed to go this long without finding your blog! Crazy, right? i love it! i’ll be back (and back and back).

    Hope you don’t mind that i linked you!


  7. Hi, I am on a suicide mission today, i am not allowed to cum, so i seem to keep finding really hot posts to read and am torturing myself.

    Thanks for helping my torture lol. I have to say, that i have struggled to pleasure Sir when he keeps tormenting my pussy. It does take so much control and submission to concentrate on putting his needs first. But then, that is why i am submissive.

    thanks xxxx

  8. “Greedy little cunt”
    Is this what sets us apart from the ‘norm’? Words like this go directly to my cunt. I love your blog pixie. The way you throw yourself into your submission is enviable. I admire you!!!

  9. Okay, Richard. You’re with the woman and I’m not. Let’s allow it all to be a gentleman’s disagreement. This way, you can have the last word on it, if you’d like I’m done. Good luck.

  10. I might be stepping out of bounds by jumping into this conversation, but I’d like to say that in a situation such as Pixie is describing, having someone take back the control of the situation only adds, tremendously, to the excitement of the experience. And, certainly, slowing down the action, will only make the orgasm, ultimately, that much more powerful.

    The “shame” and “embarrassment” of losing track of the job at hand (in this case sucking His cock) really just adds to the overall experience of being submissive and getting excited by that. It’s as exciting as being called a greedy cunt. It’s all of a piece.

    Admitting to myself that my nature, sexually, was submissive, meant admitting that shame and humiliation in those situations excite me. For better or for worse.


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