I recently had the occasion to mention the words “Dom etiquette” to pixiepie. We had been chatting with a blogging friend of hers, during which the conversation, begun innocently enough, turned into an online Dom’ing of the two other chat participants. It was only later, in a sidebar chat with pixie, that it occurred to me that I was in serious breach of Dom etiquette. I had started Dom’ing a submissive without the permission of her Dominant. I felt pretty bad about that. Anyway it gave me the opportunity to discuss it with pixie, and I told her that it was really bad form at a D/s party (for example), to hit on a submissive, or even suggest that you would like to Dom her, without having a conversation with her Dom first.
I guess the exception might be if the Dom were making an inquiry to confirm the existence of the D/s relationship, or looking for the submissive to make an introduction to the Dom to facilitate such a conversation. It seemed natural to me that the same etiquette ought to apply online as well, even though the Dom’ing is of a mental sort, not a physical sort. We all know that the mental is at least as important as the physical, perhaps more so.
I know that the nature of the internet, and blogs especially, is that people get to know one another, and yet retain that distance, or anonymity, that might suggest that the common etiquette might be loosened a bit. And I agree to a point. For example, when someone comments on pixie’s blog how desirable they find her, and they do it publicly, where it is visible to me, I take absolutely NO offense at it. Usually, it has a bit of tongue-in-cheek in it as well. No one thinks that pixie is going to take it seriously. Nor does she feel it necessary to report it to me. It is innocent fun among internet friends in a transparent setting. But the way that I did it, in a private chat, was just not acceptable. And I regret it.
So, to the submissive in question (you know who you are), I apologize. I am sorry if I put you in a position where you had to either admit to an indiscretion (albeit electronic) or neglect to mention something to your Dom that he would probably be annoyed to hear about. I would certainly be a bit annoyed to discover that a Dom began making suggestive Dom-like comments to pixie in a private conversation and I expect your Dom is no different. And if the Dom in question should be reading this with knowledge of my indiscretion, I apologize to you as well.