Sometimes September is kind enough to allow us perfect days. It has always been a month that I both loved and hated. It is a month full of special memories for me…some bittersweet and some that replay often in my mind. I love fall and the feelings that the cooler air and falling leaves bring to my life. I love driving down the road and watching the leaves fall down around my car as they spin in my wake. I often imagine they are falling just for me…
I love the smell of the woods and how the heat of the warmer days…really just there hours before linger right above the forest floor. The scent moist, earthy and primitive. I love the lessons learned from fall…the reminder that life is full of change. That after every rebirth of spring and summer there is the cold of an early fall. With fall comes choice…with every new season comes a new beginning, new memories, new experiences.
I am still learning so much. A big lesson……never, ever say to your Dominant…”You would never do that to me.” I have mentioned this lesson before…laughed about it as I casually tossed it out to you. Richard has the luxury of allowing me to amuse him at times yet he also has the luxury to call my bluff…to teach me a lesson…to never let me forget the rules of this game we play so well.
So what does this have to do with fall. Really…nothing. No, just kidding. Fall was all around me Sunday. We were driving home from the beach. Where we live there is really one major highway that connects our houses…our jobs…really everything. It takes me the entire way to the beach. We were on this long flat road just driving and talking….Richard was encouraging me to nap because I was still sleepy from a weekend in the water. Remind me to tell you about our amazing trip…although Richard spent much of his time fussing at me for swimming out too far in an ocean full of sink holes. 🙂
So anyway…back to the trip home. I really..really had to pee. And instead of getting the ‘you should have went before we left the hotel’ lecture he teased me and said he was going to pull over and make me go in the woods. Laughing I said he would never do that. He said he would…and not only would he do that but he could imagine stopping the car and walking me deep into the woods only to tie me to tree. I laughed at him. Can you believe that…even knowing Richard the way I do…I laughed at him. Now I will leave it up to you to decide if this story is true or not because I don’t expect everyone to believe me. But this is how it happened. He stopped the car and walked around to the trunk. Pulling out a bag he walked around to my side and opened the door pulling me out beside him. A car buzzed by and we both ignored it. Surely he was joking…he would never…could never really do this to me. We were on a major interstate highway. I frantically looked around for a sign to point out to him where it stated this was illegal. After all weren’t the woods off limits except for hunters and animals. He led me into the woods that were really thicker than what they looked like from the side of the road. The air smelled like pine and the strips of blue sky above my head got smaller and smaller the further we walked. It was still midday but the trees provided the night that we needed to make what he was about to do secret and dark.
He found a tree that he liked and pressed me stomach first againt the bark. I heard him drop the bag at his feet. He didn’t speak. I only heard the life of the woods and the swift unzipping of the bag. I heard him remove a rope from the bag and I whimpered as he wrapped it around my waist and then the tree I was holding on to. He lifted my shirt just enough to tie the rope around my waist and then he brought it around the bulk of the tree. The tree was large enough to where it would have been impossible for me to wrap my arms the entire way around. I wore khaki shorts and a white polo shirt. He pulled my shorts down and tossed them to the side and I stepped out of my sandals. I felt his hands at my waist and he lifted my shirt over my head. My toes curled into the crispy carpet of leftover summer benath my feet. I had white panties on and a matching bra. I felt him pull out another rope from the bag. “Put your hands over your head” I obeyed and he wrapped the rope tightly around my wrists. He tossed the rope over a branch above my head and stretched my arms as tight as they could go and still leave my feet on the forest floor. I moaned with the effort to hold the position until my body was able to relax into the security of being bound. I had forgotten the scariness around the possibility of being discovered at any moment and tried very hard to concentrate on what he was demanding of me. I felt him kneel behind me and attach the leather restraints to my ankles. I heard the rattle of wood and metal and his voice telling me roughly to spread my legs. He attached a spreader bar to my ankles.
I was bound as tight as I had ever been. I was helpless and more than a little bit afraid. I trusted him yet this was uncharted….this was only a fantasy and not something that I thought could actually happen. He walked around the front of the tree and put his hand in my hair. He pulled my head back and kissed me deeply….dropping hard kisses down my neck and shoulders across my back. His fingers pinched my nipples hard and sanded them against the roughness of the tree. I moaned and my knees threatened to buckle with pain and desire and fear. With all the good and the bad mixed together I wanted this. I loved the fear that danced around the back of my neck and the linger of need that dripped down my legs. I felt a peek of sunshine through the shelter of leaves and was warmed by it and by his touch.
He began to spank me. Hard..over and over on my bottom…on the backs of my legs..on my calves. The sound echoed through the woods and I heard a flurry of startled birds and chipmunks scatter away. I craved the hand that punished my body…I loved the blows that fell upon my skin. I only tolerated him stopping because I knew he wasn’t finished. I heard him rustle in the brush beside me. I turned my head just in time to catch him as he walked back towards me… a thin piece of wood in his hand. He was breaking off random leaves and letting them fall back to the forest floor. He whipped the small branch in the air beside my head and I flinched. I felt it on my back. One …two…three…four hard strokes burnt into my skin. I felt like one with the tree as I pressed so hard into it. My cries were lost in the woods. His hand landed on my shoulder and brushed down my back. My skin burnt and itched from the bite of the branch…as my sweat mixed with the small cuts the wood made. He wasn’t finished and I felt it slice through the air again…five or six more blows across my back.
He asked me if I still needed to pee. Did I still think he would never make me pee in the woods? He said he was going to continue doing what he was doing until I peed. I swallowed hard suprised at the coldness in his voice..warmed by the pulsing desire coursing through my body that he had the right to do this to me. I loved the feeling of strength I felt that I had was able to offer him the gift of my submission…that I had given myself to him in this way.
Somewhere in the back of my head I may have still doubted that he would actually make me pee…that he would beat me until I did. The next ten or so strokes across my bottom and the backs of my legs convinced me he was very serious. The raggedness of the branch cut into my skin and I knew it broke in many places…not deep but enough to sting crazily. I was asking him to stop knowing he wouldn’t, he reminded me all I had to do was pee….I couldn’t make myself. It seemed like such a simple thing. I almost could tolerate the pain of what he was doing more than I could possibly imagine the humiliation of peeing in front of him on command while being strapped to a tree in the middle of the woods. The switch came down again and again biting into me…again into my back and my calves…my bottom. I felt hot and sweaty…my throat was raw from asking him to stop. I was amazed that this was the same man who had just spent two days frolicking in the ocean with me.
He stopped and walked back around to the front of the tree. He was speaking and I could barely hear what he was saying. I heard him call me a slut…he said I was his to do anything with. That he could leave me here strapped to this tree if he wanted. He said he could fuck me right here…or let anyone else fuck me too. His words pushed my mind some place dark and I felt lost in that submissive place that can cradle me so gently. I felt his hand in my hair and his fingers again against my nipples. The pull of fingers against tight flesh swirled the desire around in my mind as it mixed with the pain and the pleasure and the red faced humiliation of what he demanded of me. I relaxed into my submission…and let my pride trickle down my legs with the release he demanded from me. I felt tears on my face….as I realized he had just taken it all.
Like I said September is a month of hard lessons…a month of change and growth. It is a lot like my relationship with Richard. The unyielding closing of doors…the gifts that are given that can never be taken back. Gifts like pride and desire and love….and complete submission.
We didn’t say a whole lot on the way back to the car. We didn’t have to. His hand was large and warm and comforting around my own as he led me out of the darkness towards the sunshine. I don’t remember the walk too much…just that the air was cooler. Fresher somehow than it had been on the walk in. Things felt different and like the start of every season I knew things would never be the same.