Over the past few days I have received some unwanted advice. It was not unwanted because I didn’t believe in the delivered message. I did. Not unwanted because I didn’t know it to be warranted. I did. Certainly not unwanted because I didn’t trust those who delivered the message. I do. It is just an almost impossible message for me to take. I am the type of person who knows my qualitites. I also know my inadequacies. One such inadequacy is my lack of patience. I have no patience. Zilch. Zero.
Patience is a virtue. Be patient, Be patient, Be patient.
I am not a patient person. I wonder if I am in fact a product of the immediate gratification generation. I lack self control. I lack the ability to not wonder and worry something to death. One of the hardest things for me to do is WAIT. This trait in me has been the cause of trouble for me. It speaks of lack of discipline, lack of self control. Both admirable qualitites in a submissive. Both are qualitites that Richard has been trying to help me grow. Only this time the advice didn’t come from him. He seconded it, he enforced it yet the advice came from another.
Apparently I am about to embark on a new adventure. The scene has been rehearsed many times in my head. Maybe the script wasn’t finished and the casting was not solid yet the show went on time and time again on the brightest stage imaginable. Now it seems my dream…my favorite fantasy in the whole wide world is about to come true. I do not know all the details. I am asking a million question and getting very little in return. This is where the unwanted advice comes to play.
It all started with a few back and forth emails. Innocent really. A back and forth re-getting to know you exchange with a lovely couple that I have been enchanted with since the day I first looked at them. For my long time readers you may remember them as the beautiful couple that so enamored me early last year when I was visiting M. This is the same couple that witnessed my first cold caning at his hands, the lady whose first tentative touch of my submissive dampness had me reveling in the need to explore them (and her) further. Sadly we lost touch for reasons that I only now understand. That doesn’t matter now. What matters is that these first explorative emails have started something that promises to be an amazing experience for all involved. It started with my realization that this couple are Max and Alex from persephone’s obedience. http://obedientpersephone.blogspot.com/2007/09/gift-part-1.html .
I had no idea! I remember reading the entry above with delight that wonderful Meg was able to live my fantasy. I have often wondered what it would be like to be treated as such a plaything…like a little pet or toy. It was a feeling that I was only able to taste with Ms. Anna and Richard..a taste that is very different now that I am Richard’s only submissive. I loved the feelings of being talked about and not talked to…loved being the object of nurture from a couple. It was an amazing dynamic that I regretted to see go. Only now, here is this amzing opportunity to feel like that again, to make it so much more. To truly experience it and feel it. I know I will walk away a better submissive for the experience. I know it will only enhance my ever growing submission to the man I now consider my Owner. I know that it will please Richard for me to have this experience. So when the proposition was made for Max and Alex to take possession of me for a scheduled amount of time there was never a doubt Richard would, with some conditions, agree. So now there is a contract. I haven’t seen the draft yet I know it is being constructed by two men who thrive in the world of legalities. I only know that for an unspecified (to me) amount of time I will be given to Max and Alex. They will for lack of a better word, own me throughout the process. One word..thrilling. My communication with them inspired me to write about meeting her initially https://pixiepie.wordpress.com/2007/09/28/discovery/ . Apparently my post inspired other things because the next day this email came from Max:
Dearest pixie, Your beautifully written blog post about Alex has inspired us.Being the “Evil Dom Lawyer” that I am, I want to make you a proposition.
I would like to draft a “Contract of Submission” for you to review and sign. It will be for a 24 to 48 hour period during your trip. The contract will refer to you as ” Pet” and refer to Alex and I as “Owners”. It will outline some general parameters and a few specific ones that we can agree upon.
The day leading up to the actual rendevous, Alex will take control of you and make sure your mind, body and soul are ready for a night on the town Max and Alex style.
If you would like to make this happen, let me know so that I can get to work.
After I read his words I could barely breath. Truly, I could barely breath. I was stunned that they would want me in such a way. Amazed that they would bring me into their own intimate circle. I felt honored and more than a little aroused. I right away became full of questions. So many both Max and Alex had to remind me to be patient. Richard admonished me yet I am still fighting the urge to question what is out of my hands. I am trying. It is hard. I want this to happen today! Yet I know I am not ready. I will need prepared for such an experience. I know Max and Alex realize this. He wrote… “Once your Master confirms you will be made available for our use, we will be taking affirmative steps to assert control over you and properly “prepare” you for the trip.”
OK…….”available for our use” *sigh*.
I like how he already makes me feel quite objectified, how I figured out right away that if this happens I will be used solely for the pleasure of this amazing couple. That even perhaps through me their own intimacy will grow. I liked how his words reminded me of my submission to Richard. Reminding me that my part in the decision making process ended when I gave Max permission to contact Richard. He has shown remarkable patience, they both have. I am so eager to see them again and to serve them, to submit to them, to accept pain from and for them. I wonder what they will do to me, what will their expectations be? Can I meet their expectations? Will I please them? Will my submission to them please Richard? I know Alex is more Dominant than I am…which is easy because I am not at all sexually dominant. Max explained this to me similar to the way he explained it to Meg…Alex is an alpha sub while I am a beta sub meaning even submissives are inclined to dominate me. This is so totally working for me I can’t even express it here. Not only will I have the expectation on me to obey the every whim of this couple but together and individually they may desire to take me sexually. I haven’t asked this question yet but one can only hope…I mean… errrr…..assume that sex would be within the realm of their expectations.
“So many questions…they will all be answered in due time little pet….I have not heard from Richard yet…when I do, I will send you the Contract. Alex and I will call you on the phone so that an ownership ritual can be completed before you sign it. As for the care package, trust that it will arrive before you leave and will contain a few surprises. Take care,Max
I asked Richard that I imagined that I would have final approval of the contract. I know that one thing he was dismayed about was the contract was written so it sounded as if it was being presented for my acceptance and not his. I told him that I imagined if I wasn’t comfortable with the contract I wouldn’t sign it. With a raised eyebrow he said. “Oh, you will sign it.” And of course I will. Yet I really do not feel the need to. His signature seems more fitting. I trust him to look out for my best interest, I trust Richard to see to my needs. I also trust Alex and Max. I trust them in undefined ways and I am not sure why. Only that I trust my instinct. I trust them. I am entering into this with the same eagerness that I offered to Richard when he first took me.
I am so excited about this. It is to happen early November. Remind me, do the days get shorter or longer as cold weather approaches?