Lots of stuff going on right now. Obviously things are going great with Richard and I. I have never felt more submissive to him- actually I have never felt more submissive period. When D/s is right, it is really remarkable. He is leaving tomorrow for a week and our plans for today included meeting at the apartment for ‘just lunch’. For us ‘just lunch’ means anything but! Where ‘lunch’ means actual consumption of food. Sadly today became lunch instead of ‘just lunch’ because our schedules just got crazy.
So we are sitting at a coffee shop together, a place that we spend way too much time and I realized that I would have done anything in the world to be able to show him right there how I felt. I longed to kneel in front of him, to rest my head on his knee and feel his hands play in my hair. I loved the way we sat across from each other but ended up almost side by side. He reached down every once in awhile and stroked my knee or my thigh. At one point he even asked me how it felt to know he could touch me however or where ever he pleased. I love knowing this, I love knowing that I am his. He asked this as he cupped my ankle in his hand and glided his hand part way up my calf. I like the wondering looks as people glance our way. Are they noticing our obvious age difference or do they just see that there is something remarkable in what we share?
I know that when he returns from his trip he is planning on piercing my nipples. I want to have them pierced- actually pierced. He refuses to discuss that. He wants to temporarily pierce them. He wants to slide a needle through my nipple. First one and then the other. I know causing me this sort of pain is something he wants to experience. He knows I am hesitant. Yet I know that I want it too…that the idea is arousing. The very idea that he has that right. I wonder if he will fuck me after they are pierced…will he cane me with them still there, will he pull and bite at my nipples even as they hold the thin metal within their aching softness.
Another update is with Max and Alex. I am chatting with Alex more often than I was before. I am getting to know her so much better and am swept away by her insight into herself. I am quite impressed by her devotion and especially the level of submission she offers her hottie husband Max. She has a complex personality the way I see it. I feel such kindness and caring come from her yet I feel like she can be cold and maybe even cruel given the right circumstances. She has said some things to me that have really stung. I sense something in her that isn’t quite ok. Yet….I like knowing that she wants to hurt me for the pleasure of her husband. My trip in now less than a month away and I am eager to be at their mercy. I have some hints of what they plan to do to me. I know that Alex enjoys clothespegs and I have a feeling she will torment me with them. I can only hope. I think she will be good for me. I want to walk away more knowledgeable about my submission.
Something else to add here is the contract that Richard, Max and Alex are working on. It is a Contract of Submission and it outlines expectations and responsibilities of and for both partied. Throughout the contract apparently I am referred to as ‘pet’. I am stuck between the feeling of humiliation of being discussed like property and the arousal I feel at being discussed like property. 🙂
The anticipation is killing me.