S/M

Pieces of me

Liam is having a harder and harder time dealing with Richard and me.

 

I guess given all the circumstances in this strange and wonderful adventure I seem to find myself on I am not surprised. I know to some what I am doing seems almost emotionally cruel to Liam, maybe even to Richard but no one is forcing Liam to stick around. I do not enjoy the trouble he is having as I ask him as a condition to our relationship to tolerate me having Richard in my life. I know men who have issues with their girlfriends or wives conversing with ex lovers…I know some who can do it rather well and handle it with the confidence I sometimes wish I could see in Liam and I see others just hold it together enough to throw jealous bitter barbs in the way of the relationship having any true growth. I think Liam is there, he is in the place in his head where it would be better for him to let me go. To break up with me and make it stick. I know he has tried and he can’t do it, maybe I should care enough about him to make him make it stick. Part of me still believes that I can have a real future with Liam, part of me thinks it is a lost cause. I am up and down and all over the place with Liam like I am with so many things in my life. I keep coming back to the one heavy hand of reason and guidance that is Richard. I feel as if as long as he is in my life I can handle almost anything. Silly, maybe but he has already led me through some pretty tough spots that I wouldn’t have handled nearly as well on my own. He has allowed me to begin the process of letting go of some really painful events of my past stemming way back to when I was very small. I am better because of him and resent Liam for recognizing that as fact and still allowing his jealously of another man to ask me to give him up.

 

Out of respect for Richard I try very hard to not write a lot about our (Liam and I) sex life in my blog. Though Richard has never censored me I know he reads my every word and I like to know he won’t find anything startling or unsettling here.   Sometimes that is harder for me because I know that words ramble around in my head for only so long before I must, must release them here, in this outlet that is my blog. Such is what I am writing about right now.

 

The other evening Liam showed me part of him that made me question every wonderful and thrilling thought I have ever had of him. He showed me a jealous streak, a cruel streak that has nothing to do with dominance and everything to do with little boy spiteful jealous perhaps even abusive behavior.

We were laying together. He had just made love to me and I was feeling quite caught up in the romance of his touch. The side of me that desires to be treated as a lover, as a gently bred desirable girl and less like a submissive or an owned cunt.

 

From time to time and way too often as I lay in the afterglow of what is Liam… my mind goes to Richard and the complexities in my own heart and psyche as I allow another man to touch me and bring me pleasure when I consider myself Owned. He was stroking my back and whispering sweet words into my ear. He always tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me….all of that perhaps thinking that one day I will not only believe it but feel exactly the same way. His hand found the back of my neck and traced along the soft hairs that grown there. I tensed really not wanting him to touch me in that soft spot that makes me toes curl and my breath quicken. It is that little expanse of sheltered skin beneath my hair line that Richard has claimed for his very own. He says it is his spot…that he can share all of me with Liam but that one small spot is his. So when Liam touched it I tensed, I pulled away and looked back over my shoulder at him. Don’t touch me there I said.

What do you mean? Was his response, I can touch you anywhere I damn well pleases he said in that voice that just edges on anger yet I know my response to his words could comfort him enough for him to make some joke about it.

No, you can’t. I told him, Don’t touch me there, in that spot.

He shook his head and said I didn’t even need to tell him why…that he could imagine. He said that I was terribly cruel and it was bad enough to bring Richard into our relationship let alone into his bedroom. Irritated with the entire male species by now I didn’t realize it wasn’t a good time to tell him Richard was not ‘brought’ into our relationship. In truth Richard encouraged and allowed me to bring Liam into my life ‘thinking’ at first and now only hoping that he would be good for me. Liam completely flipped out on me. He said some really biting cruel things to me about Richard, they only hurt more because the logical side had already processed his words long before he said them, recognized them as truth only to finally dismiss them as facts that can’t be changed. I tried to get up but he wouldn’t let go of me. He wrapped his large hand into my hair and pulled me back down hard onto the bed. He knelt up beside me and pressed me deep down into the bed with the weight of his much larger body. With his hand still in my hair he caught that soft skin at the back of my neck in a vicious pinch and pulled me up so I was against his chest. I was furious and struggling against him. More mad than hurt though it hurt quite badly….he pulled my head down and bit the back of my neck. I could feel my skin rebel and stretch as he loosened his bite only to bite me again.

 

He told me that I wasn’t allowed to have spots. That I wasn’t allowed to have pieces of me that could be kept from him…that he was done with that game. He said that after all he went through knowing I had Richard, that Richard had rights to my body and pieces of my heart that I couldn’t possibly share with Liam that he would not have me telling him no. He would not tolerate that. He said that he had more rights to me than Richard could even ask. That every second Richard ‘kept me’ he was more and more convinced of Richard’s selfishness, that Richard should let me go. I didn’t speak. He loosened his grip in my hair and allowed that hand to drop below to where his teeth had just marked me. With his thumb he rubbed the deep indentions that his teeth had made. He whispered that he was so sorry he hurt me. I don’t think he meant it.

 

He asked me if I liked it, he asked me if him hurting me had turned me on the way Richard’s hurting me did. I still didn’t speak, scared of the words that threatened to slip out of my mouth. He asked me how it felt to be Richard’s slut because that was all I was to him. He asked me how it felt to be that to Richard all the while pushing him away. He tells me Richard uses me, that once he is gone I will look back and be able to see very clearly how used I let myself become at the hands of Richard. He said he never wanted me to feel shame and he feared that one day I would.

 

I struggled again to get up and he held me down on the bed and told me not to move, he wasn’t finished talking to me. His voice and eyes were angry and frustrated and I wanted more than anything to ask him to leave me alone, to explain Richard better….to convince him all he said wasn’t true. He isn’t capable of understanding what Richard and I share. I leave that to him to figure out for himself as it isn’t my responsibility to arrange my life and my needs around what my boyfriend can handle. There is nothing tying him to me, he knew what I was and what I had in my life before he fell in love with me.

 

He pushed my legs apart from behind me and entered me roughly. I didn’t like the feelings of what he was doing. It didn’t feel consensual. I felt like he was taking something from me he isn’t allowed to take in anger and frustration. I am working through this in my head. I can give all to Richard, allowing him to take me anyway and say anything because it just feels right and good. There is no shame in that. When Liam crosses that line it takes all the good feeling I associate with my submission and turns them bad. He left me feeling violated in a way that I have never known and not too sure how to deal with.

 

I know that Liam crossed the line. He took something I had not given him permission to take. He liked hurting me. I didn’t like what he did or how he did it.

27 thoughts on “Pieces of me

  1. “I know that Liam crossed the line. He took something I had not given him permission to take. He liked hurting me. I didn’t like what he did or how he did it.”

    Just because we are submissives, just because we can be made to feel small and young, just because we love to obey, just because we relish pain – all this does NOT mean we have given up being grown, independent women who do in fact have free will. We can decide whom we want to be with and HOW we want to be with them.

    We do NOT have to submit to abuse. We do NOT have to put up with someone overriding our “No.”

    Sometimes it’s really hard to make the right move. To walk away. Our heads get confused by sex and emotions and pressure. Try to take a step back. You feel violated because you were. What would you advise if this happened to a friend?

    Good luck. Be strong. Enough is enough.

  2. My dear Pixiepie….this is the first post that I have been absolutely compelled to comment on in a while for you. You know how I feel, so I’ll keep it brief. I understand your huge sense of conflict and even loss here. But it honestly seems that the only difference between the two is a kind of consent. And that presents a wholly different, even more painful issue to face. I wish you well and would love to talk with you anytime.

  3. Reading this made me feel sick.

    Just because you are a submissive doesn’t mean that you are everyone’s submissive — and you know whose submissive you are, who you belong to.

    I will not mince words, pixiepie, that was abusive behaviour.

    The only good thing in all of this is that you have Richard to help you deal with this.

    I wish you a quick and easy healing in your heart and mind from this.

  4. Oh pixie dear…

    This post made my heart hurt for you. i echo everything that the other commenters have said…yes we are submissive, yes we want, need, crave certain behaviors, but those are ‘reserved’ for our Owners/Masters/Teachers, and whomever they choose for us to share those with.

    Oatmeal girl said it best…take a step back and think of this from another perspective. If your best friend came up to you and told you this happened to him/her, what would you advise?

    i’m just so sorry that this happened to you, and hope that you find comfort in the fact that so many of us fellow submissives really care about you.

    slave2JS

  5. Last night and this morning, pixie and I have been picking up the pieces of a failed experiment. I have a fragile and damaged submissive to comfort. I just wanted to say that pixie and I really appreciate your concerns, and I’ll have more to say about this later.

    And pixie, my dear, let me say publicly what I have already said to you – this event does not change you in my eyes at all. Nothing that happened reflects on you – it reflects on him. Please understand that.

  6. I have been reading through the archives and haven’t completely caught up on everything but what Liam did is inexcusable. He should have not behaved the way he did. Please take care

  7. We may not want to make decisions and hell none of us like hurting anyone, but there comes a time in our lives where we have to cut our losses pixie and if this Liam is not willing to wait without pressure or forcing his way into your life in the hope of having you give up everything near and dear to you…is he worth it?
    This is a question only you can answer sweetheart.
    Yes Richard is going to leave “one” day…But are you, could you submit/surrender yourself into the hands of someone who in these early stages in NOT listening to you, your wants, your desires or needs?,,Again another question that only you can answer.
    We the peruses of your blog can only see and reply to what we read, or that you allow us to see (and we are so very thankful for that), but as avid readers we come to a point of care/concern for you and it is through this that we as individuals open ourselves up to you, and in doing so we each as people, you will no doubt never meet lend a piece of ourselves to you to help/guide/nurture you through the bad times, Just as we all will when that inevitable day between you and Richard comes.
    So as an avid reader who knows next to nothing about you (only what she reads) i offer you this advice..

    Any man and i do mean ANY man that takes without being granted that permission deserves and earns No Respect in my eyes and only a fool would allow such things to continue.
    You pixie are better than this and should not settle for less (Not that Richard would allow it anyway), But do not sell yourself out, just because..
    Remember that just because you are a submissive/slave/slut..whatever you wish to be known as..does not mean that any tom, dick or harry that comes in a disguise has the right to take something that is not offered to him.
    Your spots are for you, for you to offer up to whomever you like, when and if it feels right for you.

    It seems to me that Liam not only sees the bond that you and Richard share but is jealous of it also and in that jealousy he is trying to out maneuver Richard, he is trying to take what you have and share with Richard and turn it into something you will share with him and he shall or rather will take it in order to feel he is being/acting/appearing to be the equivalent of Richard (which he feels in his mind is what it will take to claim you or have you as his own).

    The difference is that you know as well as Liam knows, he will never be Richard and in that alone, he has to face the fact that you love Richard and can/do/will willingly surrender all that you are to him and Liam’s problem is that he somewhere inside of himself is realising that he will not ever be Richard, not ever replace Richard and therefore by trying to be him, hopes that you will come to that place of complete surrender to him as you do Richard.

    In this humble girls eyes dear pixie, it seems life is showing you things in order to safeguard the future that could be had, before it costs you even more than you are able to cope with or tolerate.

    i may even be way off base here..as again there is only so much we as your readers get to know through what you type in here, but regardless of anything pixie..
    Don’t settle for something, just because it is better than nothing, you are worth more than that, and your future and current training and relationship with Richard should ensure that if you do not know that now that you will come to realise and believe it.

    There are a million cyber hugs i could send you, there are a million well wishes i could send also..but rather than that i am sending you strength of heart, from the good old land down under (Australia) and truly hope you come to a place that feels 110% right for you, for you as pixie, for you as Richard’s broken submissive, for you as a person and individual.

    All the best sweetie

    ~Namaste~

  8. Pixie, like puppet said, we don’t have all the information. So I’m just making my best guesses here.

    What I keep hearing is that you really want Richard. You may not have Richard forever, but does that mean you have to stay with Liam?

    You’ve done a great job at being strong enough to be honest with Liam about your situation. that’s hard to do, and I admire you for it. But beyond being honest, you also need to be willing to make your own decisions. I hear you saying Liam has to decide. When do YOU decide you’ve had enough?

    You’ve said Liam makes you feel safe. It doesn’t sound that way any more.

    stay strong, Pixie. I know you will.

  9. pixie, I have so much respect for you. I can hear the anguish in your voice. Your words are such a gift to all who read you. My thoughts are with you today and you deal with the emotions that must be flooding your body.

    I have a feeling that Richard needs to step in here and help you pull away from Liam.
    This needs to stop. It isn’t so much about him trying to pull Richard from your life before you are ready to give him up it is about him taking what can only be given. Anything less takes away from the strength of your submission, that is your core. It is one of the reasons Richard cherishes you. I hope Richard takes enough care with you to not allow this precious part of you be damaged.

  10. Where is the line between allowing yourself to be dominated sexually and allowing yourself to be victimized by a man you trust. No disrespect to pixie but I wonder if Richard is wise by allowing her to have control of this relationship with Liam. It seems like it is out of her hands, something she isn’t able to walk through alone. I think Richard needs to take a greater role in protecting you from not only Liam but yourself.
    Step up Richard! I know you have reasons for letting pixie go at this alone but now she has been hurt and it could have been avoided.

  11. Pixie…I am truly sorry for what you’ve been going through. Sometimes life isn’t black and white but shades of grey. I have no doubt that part of you loves Liam, but what he did to you wasn’t about love, it was about jealousy and control. You cannot MAKE someone submit to you, either those feelings of submissiveness are present or they’re not. There are several factors that need to present before I can submit to someone, just as I am sure that the same is true for you. You need to decide if you can be satisfied with a “normal” relationship…by your writing it appears that it is NOT what you need right now, but only you know your own heart. Dig deep down..the answers are always there….sometimes we are just afraid of them.

  12. pixie,
    i was a Liam fan until now. i agree with dX. this is never OK. This was someone you trusted taking advantage of your submission.
    i hope you can pull this all back together for yourself.
    s

  13. So many thoughts…..
    Again thank you all for your concern and advice.

    It has been apparent to me that Liam is trying to Dom me out of pixie’s life. Puppet has this right. He steps up his efforts when I am away. He tries to isolate her from me by giving her demands that she turn off her phone. I have been able to deal with all of that, as long as I thought he was good for her.

    My problem is this: in trying to Dom me out of her life, he has forgotten the first rule of D/s, if he ever knew it, that you cannot take someone’s submission. It has to be given. This is Dr.Dom’s point – it has gone beyond pushing me out of her life and on to taking what has not been given. Nearly every one of their D/s encounters has involved a certain amount of taking. Up to now, it has been merely worrisome. But this……

    Never, in all the times I have hurt pixie beyond anything described here, have I hurt her in anger. Never, never, have I intentionally hurt her emotionally.

    We have talked recently, inspired by posts and comments and others’ blogs, about the difference between domination and abuse, between domination and bullying. I had begun to believe that the only difference was in the mind of the recipient – an act done by me makes pixie feel good about herself, the same act done by Liam makes her feel less, like something was taken from her. Perhaps that is what Ron refers to above in noting that it is the kind of consent. But after this, I understand that it is also, not solely but also, in the mind of the actor – the person delivering the pain. When it is done in anger and jealousy, it is not domination. And when it is imposed on someone who has not given consent, it is abuse. This will not continue.

    pixie is seeing Liam tonight. I have offered to have this conversation for her, but she believes she owes him that – a conversation directly between them. She assures me she will be ok. I will be taking care that she is.

    I had high hopes for this. I am very disappointed. Not so disappointed as I am sure pixie is – she knows, as most of us do not, of his tender side, when he is everything she could want. But if you are hurting pixie in anger, rather than with love, you do not deserve to be called a Dominant. If you intentionally rip her emotions, you are a bully, and you do not deserve the gift she offers.

    Lastly, in my own defense (I am never shy about defending myself), I would note that while I have left Liam to pixie, I have not left her alone with it. I have given her plenty of guidance, suggestions, support, encouragement, backbone, you name it. And I have been doing so intensely for the last 48 hours. That is what Ownership requires. I love her – I would give her nothing less. She has not been abandoned to deal with Liam alone. I have perhaps asked too much of her to try to make this work – she has described it as in total conflict with who she is. I have said before that what we, Liam and I, are expecting of her is the hardest thing – much harder than what we are enduring to have her in our lives. In my first note above I conceded that this was a failed experiment. Its failure means I have no very good way of providing pixie with my successor, and I am sure I will get criticized for that somewhere down the road. It is no matter, my criticism of myself is harder than anything anyone could say of me here. However, I am open to suggestions.

    Perhaps all is not lost. Perhaps Liam will mature in the next year, and return from abroad with a new sense of self-confidence and personal awareness. Perhaps in her absence he will find a new appreciation for pixie, and the security that will allow him to accept what she can offer him without jealousy and anger. Perhaps….

    Enough for now. More to follow. It has been a stressful couple of days.

  14. Richard, you make interesting points, and they inspire 2 thoughts.

    First, you speak of ways to distinguish domination from abuse, how first you thought it was defined by how the action was perceived by the recipient (willing submissive vs. victim) ,and how now you think that one must also consider the emotions and intent of the perpetrator (dom vs. abuser).

    I think there is a third factor as well – the relationship, which of course is more than just the combined thoughts and feelings of the two parties. What is the emotional flavor of the relationship, the atmosphere, the true human balance of power in the decisions by both people (whether overt or not) of how the relationship will be conducted, of what the dom will do to and with the sub? Liam’s treatment of pixie had for me the flavor of an attempted storming of the castle, whether through charm or violence, which inspired doubts and distress in the target. Your relationship with her appears to be a stretching of limits in a way pixie desires, and which brought you closer to each other. (Of course, we don’t hear everything – and have no right to expect to – but if this were a movie there would be a marked difference between the Richard theme music and the Liam theme.)

    I’ve been concerned by Liam for quite some time, and in a way am glad it has come to a head so the choice is clear.

    The other point that strikes me is your desire to find your successor for pixie. This is very caring and responsible of you, but I think you need to sit back and let things happen as they may. you can’t just go to Doms ‘R’ Us and select the best model for the next stage in pixie’s life. new lovers, whether vanilla or kinky, don’t necessarily turn up on cue. perhaps the wisest move would be to focus on preparing pixie for time on her own. i don’t say this lightly – i know how totally off-kilter i would feel if the man who owns and loves me suddenly left my life. the pain would be worse than anything he could inflict on my body. but perhaps the best gift pixie can give her eventual new dom would be her submission as a strong, independent woman who goes to him because he is what she knows shew ants and needs – not merely because she is seeking to replace the void you will have left.

  15. There is a reason for everything and this one truly feels, that all that seems to be coming to light, be it slowly or through such an incident as this last one with Liam, that pixie is being shown a life (style/type) full forward (if that can be imagined).
    Any man who has even the slightest inclination towards M/s, D/s knows that what a girl can offer to Him, is just that..her offering.
    It can not be taken or forced unless, we the sumitter want it taken, so if pixie chooses in her future to associate with a man that can/would and furthermore “will” take at his whim, then there is nothing that any of us, including You, Richard (sadly) can do about it..she is an adult, she can/does and will continue to think for herself, so therefore any future contact lays right smack bang in pixie’s hands.

    Richard, may You never think as You said here…You have been a source of strength, honour and unconditional love to pixie and any idiot that lays this in Your lap as being solely Your fault, is just that..”an idiot”.
    You have done what You have thought best for pixie and Your relationship, we all can see that through the writings both You and she share with us, and sorry if this comes out wrongly…but…
    Right now pixie needs You, Your strength, Your guidance, Your arms, love and to draw on Your strengths as her Master/Owner, So as her Master, there is No second guessing Yourself, No wondering, No seeing if we (the avid peruses of pixie’s blog) agree with what has happened to date or anything else.
    You are her Master, You are her strength and she needs You now, more than we need an explanation…(sorry that sounds harsh even to me and i typed it out, even not wanting it to come across that way).
    Everything that happens to us or within our lives is and does serve a greater purpose, we may not see it now, in a week, a month…but eventually we “will” see it..
    Pixie sweetheart, you are a true treasure, you are a role model (even if you do not see it) to many people, this is NOT your shame sweetie, lay the blame, guilt, shame or whatever else it you may come to feel ,right where it belongs….In his (Liam’s) lap and from here on may your journey be blessed and may you learn, grow and flourish in who and what you are as not only a slave but as a person.
    (Sorry if i rambled or sounded all soppy)

    ~Namaste~

  16. I’m so sorry for you Pixie. When you wrote “He asked me if I liked it, he asked me if him hurting me had turned me on the way Richard’s hurting me did.”, I really did see the end in sight for you and Liam. He either really doesn’t get it or is just very blinded by jealousy. I almost feel sorry for him, it must be difficult for him as well, but he was abusive in how he treated you. I agree that the anger makes all the difference. He really fucked up this one. Maybe now he’ll remember that he can’t take what he hasn’t been given, and submission is indeed a gift.

    As I said once before, when the “right” man comes, it will progress naturally. Good luck.

  17. As I’ve followed these events Richard you have shown great care and love in wanting to not leave pixie alone but rather wanting and hoping to leave her well cared for and perhapes even loved as you exit her life. And while that may be possible I do think oatmeal girl has made a very good point when she said “perhaps the wisest move would be to focus on preparing pixie for time on her own.” I think that who might be a good Dom to take over while your still in the presant or fading into the shadows might not be the right Dom when you actually leave and she has only memories….she will be at and in a completely differant place than, and it might be to much for anyone to deal with the memories of you. Helping pixie learn to again be on her own and allowing her the time needed to put you and all that you brought to her life in the right and safe place before having another Dom to deal with, with all of his new ways and expectations as well as emotions… hopfully not having her in constant conflict with the ‘ghost of Richard’ and someone new. Just a thought.

    Pixie I’m sorry you have gone through this, especially in this way. Please remember, that you are first and formost a strong woman, who indeed has the right to choose for herself, your submission while it makes you who you are is still just an extention and you alone (sadly sometimes) have to and need to decide what in your life will be for your best not only in your submission, but for your spirit, your soul, your everything. There is nothing easy about this, however I sence in you the ability given time to not only face what comes or is coming your way but to also grow in it, perhapes become even better/stronger because of it maybe even inspite of it. Let nothing have more power over you than…..you.

    ~Ella

  18. Good afternoon, all,
    your thoughtful comments continue to amaze pixie and me.
    She talked with Liam last night and broke up with him. He wishes to continue to date her. If I permit this, it will be under guidelines which I will establish with pixie, including strict adherence to her curfew, and of course, no sex. This has proven too difficult for pixie to handle, not to mention the need for Liam to re-establish a minimum level of trust with both pixie and me. I will be discussing all this with pixie to determine if she has any interest in this – I know she cares for Liam, I don’t know if she is ready to go back to dating him, I don’t know what his expectations are, and until we have further conversations, I am not willing to make this decision.
    She will not be dating anyone else.

    To Dr. Dom’s concern, damage to pixie’s core submission, this has been my concern since the moment she returned home, and I must say the concern is warranted. We are beginning to work on this. She said that she has given serious thought to a hiatus from submission. She is clearly not ready for serious pain. I have responded by saying that she must not get confused about this: the fact that someone has ‘taken’ something from her does not make her submission bad, or bad for her. It is not to be confused with acting in accordance with her consent – what she has given freely. We are moving slowly. We have reconfirmed my ownership of her in all its aspect, including my responsibility to help her through this, and her desire to continue to meet my needs, and I have assured her that I will move slowly in asserting my needs.

    To give you some idea of how hard this will be: when I touch ‘my spot’ which pixie refers to in her post, she is tense, not responsive, fragile, damaged. This is terribly distressing to me. But I am happy to say that I am making progress – I touch her, I whisper in her ear, I reassure her that it is ME touching her, stroking her, loving her, and re-establishing my ownership of her, not only this spot but from her head to her toes, and I am making progress. I believe she will be fine (she just emailed me asking to be paddled!), and I continue to reassure her that nothing that has happened has changed anything in my mind – she remains as desirable as she ever was.

    Now if I can just find a Doms-R-Us store around here…….

  19. I keep coming back to see what others are saying. Richard especially. I love when you write about pixie. I think you must love her so much. She is so lucky to have you help he rhtrough this.
    If you find a Doms R Us….are there more like you on the shelf?

  20. I am not a dom or a sub, I am, what everyone refers to as “vanilla” – although I hate labels. I read this blog not just for the D/s posts, or the posts about sex (even though I enjoy them very much!!) – I read them for the way that pixie writes, when I sit down at my PC it feels like I am sitting with a cup of tea talking to a friend (and yes I am British and it would have to be a very old and close friend at that!). And to read what has happened to her….I am appalled! Not with Richard, but obviously with Liam. This is someone that she obviously felt safe with, and to have someone who you trust take advantage of you in such a way………

    As Pixie is so open, I will be honest for the reason of my post (and my first one ever even though I have been reading for a while) – does Liam “know” what he did? Does he know WHY you broke up with him? And if he does, how can he have the cheek to ask to continue to date you after what he has done?

    I am not someone looking for “juicy details and gossip” I just want to hear how, hopefully, Pixie look a leaf out of Richard’s book, strapped on her Dom gloves and gave him a smack!!! Preferably between the legs! It may be the childish way, but he deserves it!!!!

    Good luck

  21. Hi Claire,
    I just got off the phone with pixie and told her about your comment (she hasn’t had time to look at her blog today), and she is planning a whole post on your question. Be patient! And I know she’d want me to say welcome and thank you for the comment!
    Richard
    (ok, now I told pixie I would shut up and give her back her blog, lol!) 🙂

  22. my blog is your blog Richard…after all it is our story in so many ways, isn’t it?

    i am amazed at the comments this post provoked. it was unexpected by me. thank you, thank you, thank you all for your words. you have no idea what they mean to me or the strength i draw from them.

  23. Greetings dear lil’ pixie girl…

    I have been reading your blog for a while now as well, and like many, knew this was the time to speak up for you and offer any support that I might.

    Everyone has said pretty much everything.. and having been on both sides of the D/s coin, I wholeheartedly agree that submission can only be given, never taken. No is no.

    To disrespect any other’s sub in the way that you were with the intrusion of your ‘special spot’ when that spot was something you desired to keep ‘private’ for whatever reason.. was to intrude into your personal and very sacred space. And.. whether Liam likes it not..Richard is still your Master.. wherever he might go in the future. .right NOW he is.. and so he disrespected the ‘station’ of Richard in that place as well, no matter what his ‘well meaning ‘ reason’s might have been.

    Any person who is ‘Domming’ and yet is not tuned in enough to the submissive’s mindset and body language and energy to know when to back off and stop, needs to be made to step back and re-evaluate what they know about the D/s dynamics.

    The bottom line really is.. that you pixie, certainly knew what felt right, and what didn’t. Nothing else past that matters.
    Your current Master’s job is to protect you and he certainly sounds like he intends to.

    I hope that all goes well for you and all involved,
    best to all,
    Mystress

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