pixie was damaged, and my job was to help her heal, help her get whole
again, reclaim the good feelings of being a submissive, being owned. We
were snuggled on the bed in the apartment, talking but not really. Just
stroking her hair, her face, curled into each other.
I knew I had to dominate her, and hurt her, to get her back on track, but
I also knew I had to move slowly. She wasn’t ready for serious pain. Her
submission felt tentative, cautious, fragile. I handled it with care.
It is remarkable to me how I relate to pixie. No matter how harshly I may
be treating her, no matter what terrible things I am saying to her, it is
always with love. Yet clearly there are times when I treat her more
gently, like a lover, and times when I treat her more roughly, as my cunt.
But there is always love behind it, and sometimes the dynamic shifts from
lover to cunt, and it can happen quickly or slowly, unpredictable. So
while I know there are times I am feeling very mellow, and treat her like
a gently bred desirable girl, I know that in her mind she is owned, and
she may have less realization of the differences than even I do – they so
blend together, and shift. But always with love….
In the past, I have often found that to be at my most demanding, most
Dominant, most sadistic self, I have had to step away emotionally from the
submissive, to create a little distance inside, to separate myself and
objectify the submissive.
So different with pixie…. For some reason I
am able to be more Dominant than I have ever been, more cruel, more
demanding, more sadistic, without ever creating space between us – only
drawing more closely into her, becoming as one with her in her pain,
absorbing the pleasure back out of her as I put the pain into her body.
Such an amazing thing – I don’t know why this works so well for us, and I
can’t explain it. I just know that she brings out the best of my
Dominance even as I get closer and closer to her emotionally, no space or
But tonight was not a night for my most sadistic self. Tonight she was my
little girl. My bad little girl. She needed a spanking.
I told her to get up from the bed and get across my knee. I began
spanking her through her jeans. She complained that it felt like a bad
girl spanking and that she hadn’t been bad. I told her that she was a
good girl for being a bad girl, and gave her several examples of
disobedience I had noticed. Nothing serious of course, just enough to
stop her from complaining that she hadn’t been bad. Stand up, I said, and
had her remove her jeans. Back down over my lap. Now the spanking
changed – it felt more like a good girl spanking. The spanks become
harder, and she felt them more without the protection of her jeans, but
after a few strokes, there was the pause as I massaged her beautiful ass
through her panties.
As we progressed, the panties came down to her knees, I had her remove her
sweater, I changed from a hand spanking to a paddle. I spent a lot of
time, a lot of time, taking care of my spot, that spot at the back of her
neck, that spot that Liam damaged. I touched her, stroked her, massaged
it, kissed it, loved it, brought it back to life, back to feeling under my
fingers. I made it mine again, and restored it to the magic place that it
was, the place where a soft touch brought immediate wetness to pixie’s
I had pixie get on her knees between my legs, and unzip my pants. She
began to suck me, using just her lips and tongue, complaining of her sore
throat (yes, she has been sick so I allowed this excuse). I said “between
my feet is a piece of rope tied to the bed. Get it for me.” She handed
me the loose end of the rope. I looped it around and around her neck, and
left enough to go down her back and restrain her arms behind her back.
This is where we made the subtle shift from little girl to owned cunt. I
put my hand between her legs and put one finger on her clit. She was
dripping wet. I told her she could come anytime, but that I wanted her to
wait as long as she could. I was stroking her clit very gently, just
starting low and lightly dragging my finger up over her clit, so gently.
She likes it harder – it makes it easier for her to cum. But my plan was
to make her wait as long as she could. She lasted a few minutes and then
came SO hard, it was amazing. She just convulsed on my finger for a very
long time, and collapsed against me.
I think it was here that I stood up over her and had her lick my balls
until I was ready to cum. I told her to stick out her tongue, and I
deposited my cum onto her tongue. Then I rubbed my sticky cock all over
her face. Finally, I told her she could swallow my cum, that it would be
good for her sore throat. Of course, I made that up – I have no idea if
it was good or bad for her sore throat, but I love saying it and making
Then I forced her up from her knees so she was leaning over the bed. I
used the paddle on her again. At each stroke, she moved forward away from
the paddle, and in the process tightened up the rope until she was having
trouble breathing. I pushed her back onto her knees. Again I put my hand
between her legs and began pushing her to another orgasm. As her arms
tired and relaxed behind her, she tightened the rope around her neck. She
was slowly choking, she looked at me, she needed air, she forced out
“Richard, please….” I continued stroking her until she had another
amazing, huge orgasm. I quickly loosened the rope around her neck by
untying her hands to create slack. She gasped and collapsed onto my lap.
Later she said that if she had had a safeword she would have used it. She
also said that most people would have panicked and taken off the rope and
“ruined the whole thing.” 🙂
As I knelt on the floor in front of her, unwinding the rope from around
her neck, she rested her head on my legs, occassionally licking me,
touching me. Slowly she moved up from my lap to my chest, and finally to
my face and I kissed her. We got up on the bed and curled up together. I
knew that my submissive was back, not totally healed but on the road to
recovery. I had hurt her, I had used her, I had controlled her and her
orgasms, I had given her a taste of the dark side, even though we started
out as little girl.
As we kissed goodbye later that night to head to our separate homes, I
told her she had been a good girl that night. She had made so much
progress back, she had felt good about being submissive, being hurt, being
owned. She was such a good girl…..