““Don’t you know that you come with us wherever we go….you are in this little suitcase that is never too far away from Richard.”
My Owner sent me flowers this morning. A huge beautiful fairy tale bundle of flowers in a lovely vase adorned with a sheer pink ribbon. The card….a simple Thank You.
The simplicity of his words brought tears to my eyes. I was a little humbled that he was thanking me when the last 48 hours was full of all the things I should be thanking him for. When I think of this weekend I think of all the lessons learned. When I think this past weekend I think of smiles and tears and growth and a lot of love. What I learned about Richard, what I learned about myself and L and even what I learned about what makes us all human. Even Richard. (Yes…Richard is human…lol)
I spent the weekend with Richard and L. Friday I met them at a contemporary hotel in the city for our photo shoot. We were all so excited walking into the weekend. I of course was thrilled to be spending time with my Owner and learning more about my role with them as a couple. Of course at this point I wasn’t even sure if there was a role for me with them being a couple. I am secure in my role with Richard, as his submissive. And with L…the past few weeks we have worked to establish the fragile skeleton of a friendship between us. She is working to understand this entire thing. I think she gets it now more than ever what it means to be in this sort of relationship. I knew that this weekend would be a chance for L to see me being truly submissive to Richard.
It was agreed upon that there would be no sex between anyone so that was off the table. I was distressed a bit to realize that initially L was seeing the time together as her sharing Richard with me. I wanted to somehow have that converted in her mind to where it was Richard sharing me with her. I know how far off that is and I also know it may not happen but in my mind it would take the competition out between us that she puts between all of us. I didn’t want to go into this on an equal footing with her. It made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure how to take it….she is still learning about submission and dominance and ownership. I am still learning about her and how her knowing about Richard and I changes my role in his life and adds me to hers.
The photo shoot was fun. We laughed and talked a lot throughout. The pictures were not porn…they were tastefully erotic. We weren’t making out or touching each other…it was nothing like that. The photos were meant to be more of a documenting of the differences in our ages….the changes in our bodies etc. It was exciting and empowering and arousing. The pictures that Richard took Friday were wonderful. I love being photographed by him. I felt like I was performing for him. L was beautiful and I know she enjoyed herself too. It was playful and allowed us the opportunity to touch and be close with nothing fake in the way…we were simply two beautiful women being photographed by the man they both love and adore. There was a certain freedom in that. The freedom that really came without me having to hide how I felt about my Owner was an indescribable feeling. She has accepted my need of him and how he needs me.
After the shoot Richard made the announcement that we all needed to go to dinner. He didn’t feel as if we were ready for anything else…he didn’t think L was ready to witness him doing anything to me. We both argued with him a little. I think we were both at the point where we figured it would happen eventually and here we all were in this great room and we were all kind of mellow from the champagne. We should have obeyed Richard and trusted him. Friday night almost ruined the entire weekend. Lots of feeling surfaced on both sides and poor Richard…well I think he learned how difficult it is to take care of two emotionally needy and vulnerable women at one time. I remember at one point he said as he was stopping it…he said we both needed his full attention and he was unable to give it to either of us.
He spanked me in front of her. It wasn’t the spanking that bothered her as much as it was the affection he showed me. To me it was more of a demonstration at first but then he added some harder pain and a small taste of humiliation. It is hard to beg your Owner for something in front of his wife….but looking back it was pretty hot to repeat back to him that I was his cunt. I think she was more prepared for that and less for the tenderness he shows me throughout. The soft touches down my back and the kisses on my neck…stuff like that. And he toned it way down even. I am not sure how prepared for that she was. I know Richard told her that he was affectionate with me…that I needed that and he desired to give it to me but knowing it and seeing it is different. It really wasn’t a secret that he has strong feelings for me or that I ma obviously giving him something he needs. I know he has told her how he feels about me but seeing it in front of her still had to be hard. She and I had a conversation the day before on owning our own feelings. On being there willingly and not making Richard feel responsible or guilty if we were hurt or felt slighted. I don’t think she was capable of holding herself to that yet because she at one point directed a lot of anger at Richard. I will write more about Friday night later on. It just ended badly for all of us. Richard was forced to leave my side earlier than he ever would have and deal with what she needed and even then she felt as if what he was given her was being given to her because he felt obligated to give it. I know at one point I just wanted to point out to the two of them how they were obviously miscommunicating but I never did. I let them work it out on their own and by morning things seemed better. L and I prepared breakfast while Richard ventured out to get us all hot chocolate. We spent some time admiring our presents from Richard. He gave us both a beautiful pair of earrings so we would have something to remember from our first weekend together. The same gift yet so different….he knows us both so well and gave us both something that made us both so happy. He worried that he wouldn’t be able to tell me he loved me while we were with her so he told me whenever he touched his hair he was thinking of how much he loves me. He touched his hair a lot.
L and I had the first of a series of really good conversations while he was gone. I realized that I was needed here and not just because I could give Richard something he needed. L needed to talk to me and I needed to hear all that she had to say. She listened to me too. And of course it all worked out for us…we are the only two people who can so perfectly understand each other. And I do really understand how she is feeling. I don’t like or agree with how she talks to Richard when I see him trying so hard to anticipate and met her needs. I am sensitive to that and I feel bad when I feel as if he is being disrespected. Still…she has a right to her feeling and for all that she is accepting I suppose Richard can tolerate a little crap from her right now. I think she knows that I truly care how she is feeling and that I want the two of them to be successful. I think she knows that. Oddly enough she wants Richard and me to be successful. She thanked me this weekend for what I do for him…what having me in his life has done for him and for them as a couple. She also said that she felt young again planning this weekend and she would do it all over. We validate each other and she recognized my relationship with Richard as something to be valued and respected. She told me how it made her feel to know Richard was thinking about what I needed even while he was with her. I told her how I felt to be placed into a highly submissive state and then left alone. She understood that. She talked about their upcoming vacation and I said that it would be good for them to get away for all this. She looked at me and said.. “Don’t you know that you come with us wherever we go….you are in this little suitcase that is never too far away from Richard.”
What do you say to that? I told her I was sorry. And she said for me to not be sorry that things were what they were and she understood why he and I need each other the way we do. She said I give him something he obviously needs and something she knows she never will give him. She said that I settle that part in him and he is happier for having me in his life.
Friday had some rocky moments. Saturday was mostly smiles and passion and laughs. I would relive Saturday a thousand times and only change things slightly. The best moment Saturday was after our showers…after Richard shampooed our hair and after he took dozens more pictures of us in towels and robes. L and I were feeling playful and sort of languid and the pictures were of us in white robes….towels on our heads in the rumpled king size bed. We were really having a good time and it somehow turned into this little…let’s taunt Richard with how hot we look. The pictures took a turn…nothing inappropriate. Just a bit more skin…a damp nipple here or there or a little cheek showing. Put that with her and me in bed together with an already frustrated Dominant man. He was literally groaning with every shot. It was great fun. 🙂
Finally he joined us on the bed and we sort of just lounged there. He was between us and there was way too much exposed skin for him not to let his fingers wander around. I turned on my stomach and L and I started to talk again. She had pink panties on beneath her robe and her skin looked so pretty against the fabric. I told her how pretty she looked and asked to take a picture of the fabric against her skin. I felt inspired and it hit me suddenly that she really needed some positive feedback from me. I tentatively began to touch her…just her neck and across her stomach and she wasn’t sure if she wanted it or not. All at once Richard reached over and asked to extend our stay one more night. It was such a funny moment…there we were an hour before our already late checkout and none of us wanted our time together to end.
It was still playful and fun and really all that comes next is a blur…ok not really a blur. I have seen it over and over in my head. We kept our promise that here was not going to be any sex between any of us. There were plenty of orgasms to go around. It was quite an experience and one that will come out in bits and pieces. Carefully and cautiously. I want to be respectful of the fact L is not aware of my blog and therefore she has not given her consent to be discussed here.
So there we were…learning and discovering together. It felt right and we all knew there was a risk one or all of us would walk away with regrets. We didn’t. A Friday photo shoot turned into a Sunday brunch….more amazing conversation and L and I found a new respect and admiration for each other. I realized she was able to add a dynamic to my life that would have been good for me even if there was no Richard. I know she struggles with liking me…in a way I struggle with liking her too. At first it was something I wanted to do to please Richard. I wanted to respect and befriend L to make this easier on him. Now I want to be close to her because it makes it easier on her.
After brunch and yet more champagne L and I asked Richard to leave us so we could talk some more. She has so much to say to me and just opens up…I do the same for her. And I found we talk quite openly about what we need and what we get from the same man. What a complex man he is….how is needs differ from me to her and how they all sort of circle around.
Finally we said goodbye. Late Sunday afternoon we said goodbye and they went their way and I went home. I was happy the entire way home. I started to feel the let down I expected after 48 hours of being submissive to Richard and all the experiences of the weekend. I missed them both. A lot…both of them. I pushed through the sadness and was almost feeling back to 100% happy when L called me. She called and invited me to meet them for dinner. I was shocked…are you sure I asked incredulous. After all she had not had Richard to herself all weekend other than the past few hours. Yes she said…we insist.
And so I did. I am so glad I did. I had more fun out with them at dinner than I remember having in a long time. We shared yet another bottle of really, really good wine and the conversation was fun and exciting and incredibly intoxicating.
Nothing is going to be the same now….and yet nothing has changed. I am still owned and loved by Richard. Tomorrow night is our time together just he and I. He is happier than he has ever been. He is very pleased with me. I am pleased with how this has turned out.
In my submissive head nothing is better than having my Owner pleased with me. Funny how having his wife pleased with me too ads to that mind set of being owned. In my mind it removed the competitive element and delivered me deeper into my Owners keeping. I can’t think of a better place to be. I am finding ways to carry that feeling with me even when he is not by my side and his hands are not on my body. There is such a sweet freedom in that for all of us I think. I want that because that is when I am truly owned.