S/M

pink panties

““Don’t you know that you come with us wherever we go….you are in this little suitcase that is never too far away from Richard.”

My Owner sent me flowers this morning. A huge beautiful fairy tale bundle of flowers in a lovely vase adorned with a sheer pink ribbon. The card….a simple Thank You.

 

The simplicity of his words brought tears to my eyes. I was a little humbled that he was thanking me when the last 48 hours was full of all the things I should be thanking him for. When I think of this weekend I think of all the lessons learned. When I think this past weekend I think of smiles and tears and growth and a lot of love. What I learned about Richard, what I learned about myself and L and even what I learned about what makes us all human. Even Richard. (Yes…Richard is human…lol)

 

I spent the weekend with Richard and L. Friday I met them at a contemporary hotel in the city for our photo shoot. We were all so excited walking into the weekend. I of course was thrilled to be spending time with my Owner and learning more about my role with them as a couple. Of course at this point I wasn’t even sure if there was a role for me with them being a couple. I am secure in my role with Richard, as his submissive. And with L…the past few weeks we have worked to establish the fragile skeleton of a friendship between us. She is working to understand this entire thing. I think she gets it now more than ever what it means to be in this sort of relationship. I knew that this weekend would be a chance for L to see me being truly submissive to Richard.

 

It was agreed upon that there would be no sex between anyone so that was off the table. I was distressed a bit to realize that initially L was seeing the time together as her sharing Richard with me. I wanted to somehow have that converted in her mind to where it was Richard sharing me with her. I know how far off that is and I also know it may not happen but in my mind it would take the competition out between us that she puts between all of us. I didn’t want to go into this on an equal footing with her. It made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure how to take it….she is still learning about submission and dominance and ownership. I am still learning about her and how her knowing about Richard and I changes my role in his life and adds me to hers.

 

The photo shoot was fun. We laughed and talked a lot throughout. The pictures were not porn…they were tastefully erotic. We weren’t making out or touching each other…it was nothing like that. The photos were meant to be more of a documenting of the differences in our ages….the changes in our bodies etc. It was exciting and empowering and arousing. The pictures that Richard took Friday were wonderful. I love being photographed by him. I felt like I was performing for him. L was beautiful and I know she enjoyed herself too. It was playful and allowed us the opportunity to touch and be close with nothing fake in the way…we were simply two beautiful women being photographed by the man they both love and adore. There was a certain freedom in that. The freedom that really came without me having to hide how I felt about my Owner was an indescribable feeling. She has accepted my need of him and how he needs me.

 

After the shoot Richard made the announcement that we all needed to go to dinner. He didn’t feel as if we were ready for anything else…he didn’t think L was ready to witness him doing anything to me. We both argued with him a little. I think we were both at the point where we figured it would happen eventually and here we all were in this great room and we were all kind of mellow from the champagne. We should have obeyed Richard and trusted him. Friday night almost ruined the entire weekend. Lots of feeling surfaced on both sides and poor Richard…well I think he learned how difficult it is to take care of two emotionally needy and vulnerable women at one time. I remember at one point he said as he was stopping it…he said we both needed his full attention and he was unable to give it to either of us.

 

He spanked me in front of her. It wasn’t the spanking that bothered her as much as it was the affection he showed me. To me it was more of a demonstration at first but then he added some harder pain and a small taste of humiliation. It is hard to beg your Owner for something in front of his wife….but looking back it was pretty hot to repeat back to him that I was his cunt. I think she was more prepared for that and less for the tenderness he shows me throughout. The soft touches down my back and the kisses on my neck…stuff like that. And he toned it way down even. I am not sure how prepared for that she was. I know Richard told her that he was affectionate with me…that I needed that and he desired to give it to me but knowing it and seeing it is different. It really wasn’t a secret that he has strong feelings for me or that I ma obviously giving him something he needs. I know he has told her how he feels about me but seeing it in front of her still had to be hard. She and I had a conversation the day before on owning our own feelings. On being there willingly and not making Richard feel responsible or guilty if we were hurt or felt slighted. I don’t think she was capable of holding herself to that yet because she at one point directed a lot of anger at Richard. I will write more about Friday night later on. It just ended badly for all of us. Richard was forced to leave my side earlier than he ever would have and deal with what she needed and even then she felt as if what he was given her was being given to her because he felt obligated to give it. I know at one point I just wanted to point out to the two of them how they were obviously miscommunicating but I never did. I let them work it out on their own and by morning things seemed better. L and I prepared breakfast while Richard ventured out to get us all hot chocolate. We spent some time admiring our presents from Richard. He gave us both a beautiful pair of earrings so we would have something to remember from our first weekend together. The same gift yet so different….he knows us both so well and gave us both something that made us both so happy. He worried that he wouldn’t be able to tell me he loved me while we were with her so he told me whenever he touched his hair he was thinking of how much he loves me. He touched his hair a lot. 

 

L and I had the first of a series of really good conversations while he was gone. I realized that I was needed here and not just because I could give Richard something he needed. L needed to talk to me and I needed to hear all that she had to say. She listened to me too. And of course it all worked out for us…we are the only two people who can so perfectly understand each other. And I do really understand how she is feeling. I don’t like or agree with how she talks to Richard when I see him trying so hard to anticipate and met her needs. I am sensitive to that and I feel bad when I feel as if he is being disrespected. Still…she has a right to her feeling and for all that she is accepting I suppose Richard can tolerate a little crap from her right now. I think she knows that I truly care how she is feeling and that I want the two of them to be successful. I think she knows that. Oddly enough she wants Richard and me to be successful. She thanked me this weekend for what I do for him…what having me in his life has done for him and for them as a couple. She also said that she felt young again planning this weekend and she would do it all over. We validate each other and she recognized my relationship with Richard as something to be valued and respected. She told me how it made her feel to know Richard was thinking about what I needed even while he was with her. I told her how I felt to be placed into a highly submissive state and then left alone. She understood that. She talked about their upcoming vacation and I said that it would be good for them to get away for all this. She looked at me and said.. “Don’t you know that you come with us wherever we go….you are in this little suitcase that is never too far away from Richard.”

 

What do you say to that? I told her I was sorry. And she said for me to not be sorry that things were what they were and she understood why he and I need each other the way we do. She said I give him something he obviously needs and something she knows she never will give him. She said that I settle that part in him and he is happier for having me in his life.

 

Friday had some rocky moments. Saturday was mostly smiles and passion and laughs. I would relive Saturday a thousand times and only change things slightly. The best moment Saturday was after our showers…after Richard shampooed our hair and after he took dozens more pictures of us in towels and robes. L and I were feeling playful and sort of languid and the pictures were of us in white robes….towels on our heads in the rumpled king size bed. We were really having a good time and it somehow turned into this little…let’s taunt Richard with how hot we look. The pictures took a turn…nothing inappropriate. Just a bit more skin…a damp nipple here or there or a little cheek showing. Put that with her and me in bed together with an already frustrated Dominant man. He was literally groaning with every shot. It was great fun. 🙂

 

Finally he joined us on the bed and we sort of just lounged there. He was between us and there was way too much exposed skin for him not to let his fingers wander around. I turned on my stomach and L and I started to talk again. She had pink panties on beneath her robe and her skin looked so pretty against the fabric. I told her how pretty she looked and asked to take a picture of the fabric against her skin. I felt inspired and it hit me suddenly that she really needed some positive feedback from me. I tentatively began to touch her…just her neck and across her stomach and she wasn’t sure if she wanted it or not. All at once Richard reached over and asked to extend our stay one more night. It was such a funny moment…there we were an hour before our already late checkout and none of us wanted our time together to end.

 

It was still playful and fun and really all that comes next is a blur…ok not really a blur. I have seen it over and over in my head. We kept our promise that here was not going to be any sex between any of us. There were plenty of orgasms to go around. It was quite an experience and one that will come out in bits and pieces. Carefully and cautiously. I want to be respectful of the fact L is not aware of my blog and therefore she has not given her consent to be discussed here.

 

So there we were…learning and discovering together. It felt right and we all knew there was a risk one or all of us would walk away with regrets. We didn’t. A Friday photo shoot turned into a Sunday brunch….more amazing conversation and L and I found a new respect and admiration for each other. I realized she was able to add a dynamic to my life that would have been good for me even if there was no Richard. I know she struggles with liking me…in a way I struggle with liking her too. At first it was something I wanted to do to please Richard. I wanted to respect and befriend L to make this easier on him. Now I want to be close to her because it makes it easier on her.

 

After brunch and yet more champagne L and I asked Richard to leave us so we could talk some more. She has so much to say to me and just opens up…I do the same for her. And I found we talk quite openly about what we need and what we get from the same man. What a complex man he is….how is needs differ from me to her and how they all sort of circle around.

 

Finally we said goodbye. Late Sunday afternoon we said goodbye and they went their way and I went home. I was happy the entire way home. I started to feel the let down I expected after 48 hours of being submissive to Richard and all the experiences of the weekend. I missed them both. A lot…both of them. I pushed through the sadness and was almost feeling back to 100% happy when L called me. She called and invited me to meet them for dinner. I was shocked…are you sure I asked incredulous. After all she had not had Richard to herself all weekend other than the past few hours. Yes she said…we insist.

 

And so I did. I am so glad I did. I had more fun out with them at dinner than I remember having in a long time. We shared yet another bottle of really, really good wine and the conversation was fun and exciting and incredibly intoxicating.

 

Nothing is going to be the same now….and yet nothing has changed. I am still owned and loved by Richard. Tomorrow night is our time together just he and I. He is happier than he has ever been. He is very pleased with me. I am pleased with how this has turned out.

 

In my submissive head nothing is better than having my Owner pleased with me. Funny how having his wife pleased with me too ads to that mind set of being owned. In my mind it removed the competitive element and delivered me deeper into my Owners keeping. I can’t think of a better place to be. I am finding ways to carry that feeling with me even when he is not by my side and his hands are not on my body. There is such a sweet freedom in that for all of us I think. I want that because that is when I am truly owned.

28 thoughts on “pink panties

  1. Pixie you lucky lucky girl! I am SO pleased everything is working out so wonderfully for you.

    May your happiness last an eternity.

    xxx

  2. a much anticipated post. Your life is intoxicating. Thank you for sharing it with us. I NEVER expected this.

  3. Richards Beloved Pixie

    *Big Smiles*

    All in all it sounds like the three of you are moving in the right direction..it’s a beautiful thing when you share love…

    His “much beloved “fawn *winks*

  4. oh my, how clever. Just the kind of intellectual, thought-provoking comments pixie hungers for.

    While I’m at it, the word is “you’re” , a contraction of “you are” , not “your”. It is pronounced “yooor” not “yor” in case you’ve never heard it said correctly. It is “you’re a twat….” rather than “your a twat….”

  5. GOD WTF…if you don’t like pixie’s blog stay the hell away from it. I am tired of coming here and finding jealous negative comments from people who obviously have spent WAY to much time with their heads up their asses to see there is a real touching story here.
    Moose. You suck. Rock on pixie and Richard. Pixie never stop being who you are.

  6. Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary

    twat \twat\ n (origin unknown) : VULVA…..usu. consindered vulgar..

    Well pixies is alot of things but a vulgar vulva isn’t one of them…

  7. Wonders if I should look up word moose, durning the korean war wasn’t the term “moose” use for a “kept woman” ? Of course there is the animal moose..

  8. *clapping my little hands in delight* pixie…i’m so happy for you all. That was a wonderful and touching weekend and i’m so happy that all your relationships are in such a good place.

    fown

  9. I look forward to more posts describing what appears to be the first steps of a true poly relationship. I think you are walking into this with your head in the right place. In this post I did not hear anything about what you need or what you didn’t get. I admire that you were able to see the ‘good’ you can give your Owner’s wife knowing that it all comes back as good for him. Bravo.

  10. do you thik pixie that L will ever see this as someting she is losing and not something that she is gaining. if you two can make that happen it will be smiles all around. and is that not the ultimate goal.

    luck to all of you.

  11. Oh my…how lovely for all three of you. I’m just thrilled for all of you.

    ((hugs)) This is how I used to fantasize things might go with M and his wife.

    I read another woman’s blog. She has a tpe with her owner and his wife. Its a lovely relationship. Its live in now and has been for a few years. I have always thought how lovely her relationship is and part of what makes it lovely in my mind is the friendship she has with her owner’s wife. Its beautiful and sweet.

    They have alot of bumps in the road. There’ve been alot of moments when my friend wants to give up altogether. Its very hard for her sometimes. But I’ve got to see her grow tremendously as a person over the years I’ve been reading her blog.

    It is likely unrealistic to think that things will always go so very smoothly between the three of you, but geez you three have made such a beautiful and truly enviable start.

    This story between you three continues to be healing for me. I know I’ve said it before, but it is very affirming to know that the story does not always end in the loss of the relationship…and I know. Its early yet and pixie has much living left to do at this young age…but for now…the ending is different than my own and I see such joy in you and in me that its true. Thank you for sharing these lovely little windows into your lives.

  12. WOW, that is all I can really muster! So many milestones were reached over the weekend I feel reading this post. What stuck out in this piece was the fact that L offered to give up her alone time with Richard to include you and ask you for dinner. If that is not growth and acceptance (or at least well on the way to acceptance) I do not know what is!?!

    A satisfying snapshot. I hope that these feelings resonate and last.

  13. I am very happy for you!

    Things just looked very different only days, weeks ago.
    And now…!

    I envy the three of you. Such great communication and care. Wow!

    Z

  14. Pixie, my first comment, this such a positive post
    It seems to me that you are moving to a poly lifestyle, whatever actually comes to pass, I hope that the happiness and love grows between the three of you.
    Warm hugs,
    Paul.

  15. oh richard thank god you corrected my grammatical mistake.
    Of course i don’t care about your lives you sanctimonious cunt, just passing by for links on the blogroll and commenting on your
    twattery the general selfish , self absorbed, soulless ness I just feel a pang of sympathy for L.
    Itsnt my poor spelling just as much freedom of expression as pixies crap blog? 😀
    Are you Richard kapanka?

  16. YAY for…everything! YAY for good grammar!! YAY for mooses that stay in the Arctic Tundra!!!!

    (which means that mean-spirited mooses should butt out and quit spreading their ick.)

  17. Good morning, Moose,

    even your rant can’t change my good mood this morning. If you don’t care about our lives, yet you keep coming back and commenting and just trolling by for links on the blogroll (whatever the hell that means), what does that say about you? Get a life, dude!

    wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been called a sanctimonious cunt before! Cool! 🙂
    R (sorry pixie, I’ll stop now)

  18. my wonderful Owner…i am so happy you are pleased with me this morning. i hope i have contributed to the smile in your voice and the laughter in your words. last night was amazingly special and i have never felt more yours. thank you.

    oh…did i tell you how HOT it makes me when you defend me. keep it coming moose…lol.

    smiles to all on this wonderful bright happy Wednesday AM. Isn’t it a beautiful happy day?

  19. Wonderful post pixiepie. Will we hear Richard’s take on the weekend?
    It is so nice to hear happiness and peace in your words. We are smiling with and for you today pixie.

  20. Drew,
    when I try to write something about the weekend, I can’t focus – there are too many images and important events and amazing things that were said. I am content, I think, to let pixie talk about it – she is better at it than I am.

    Her conversations with L were instrumental in pulling the weekend out of the disaster it might have become, and into the amazing place it ended up. And L gets credit for asking her back to dinner on Sunday, which put the most positive cap on the weekend that anyone could imagine.

    We still have a long way to go. But we DID end the weekend with smiles on our faces! And we made huge progress. And we will probably do it again one day.
    R

  21. What a lovely lovely post. i’m so very happy for you! But also a little (okay, a lot) jealous, since i’m in a relationship with a Master whose wife despises me. i wish we could share even a quarter or a tenth the goodwill you write about. i hope you all continue to grow and share and learn from one another.

  22. I found this blog a while back; I’ve been reading for a while now and I must say, this is an incredibly amazing story and life that you choose to share, and I sincerely thank you for sharing. I think we all grow in some way reading these posts (despite a few… disagreeable individuals).

    I notice that some doubt whether or not this happiness will last, and I really want to say something in response. I don’t think it is about whether or not the times stay happy, it is about staying strong and persevering through all situations, smooth and rough. I truly hope you all find that strength within yourselves.

    My best wishes.

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