S/M

Alex

“Oh pixiepie she laughed what am I going to do with you….I think you are insatiable.” I just laughed and rolled over a little closer to her liking the feel of her naked skin against my own. She hugged me closer and I relaxed knowing it was not disapproval I heard in her voice…just amusement. The two of us had been lounging in her bed for the past hour just quietly talking and touching. I am the type of person who tries to pull as much from an experiment as I possibly can…this one was no different.

 

Alex and I didn’t plan our meeting…it was very last minute. I think sometimes that is the best way to do these things…if we had talked about it a month ago it would have felt planned…almost contrived. This was a gut reaction- hey….I want to see you, let’s spend time together.

 

Remember Alex? Max and Alex are friends of mine that witnessed my first ‘public caning’ compliments of Mark. Since then I have spent even more time with them…they are a special couple who mean a lot to me. It is funny how every time Mark and I part ways he leaves me with special people to love. 🙂

So of course when I told her I was going to be closer to her side of the country in an exciting city she wanted to come join me.

 

I was ecstatic…Richard was cautious; a bit concerned that 1) Max would join us. He regretted allowing me to spend time with Max in Chicago late last year and he had said it wouldn’t happen again. Alex though is a different story and he was pleased I was able to see my friend again.  2) That it would turn into some sort of online D/s session that involved Max domming me through Alex and Richard didn’t want me placed in that position. Don’t get me wrong…Richard has all the respect in the world for Max…he genuinely likes what he knows of him he just doesn’t want  me to go through any additional emotional angst right now especially of my own making. Max treated me extremely well when I was with him and followed Richard’s guidelines flawlessly. He predicts an ugly end for Max and Alex.

 

So it was agreed that I could meet Alex…that it would be just the two of us…and that I was Alex’s responsibility when we were together. Meaning I could forgo my normal bedtime…curfew etc as long as I was with Alex.

 

I wouldn’t describe Alex as being extraordinarily dominant….yet each time I have been with her she has been placed in somewhat of a dominant role over me. I think it is a natural reaction that I have to certain people. This time was not any different with her. It wasn’t anything we discussed.  There was nothing blatant about it…she identifies as a submissive. I do too (duh ;)) but on the scale of submissiveness I think I fall below her. She let me know when her plane had landed and asked me to come to her hotel so we could go to dinner together. I wrote back and suggested that she come to me since I was in a meeting and may finish up early and she could already be there….she wrote me back and reminded me to do what I was told. 

 

Here we go I thought…even more excited to see her. I hadn’t seen her since November and I smiled at her playful banter.

 

Directly after my meeting I showered, changed and caught a taxi from downtown to her hotel. I realized as I made my way to her room that I had no expectations of our time together. It felt as if I was just going to meet one of my girlfriends and not someone that months earlier I shared my first real girl/girl experience. I tried not to think about any of that…you know…how she tasted or how she smelled. It was my plan to just hang out and enjoy each other and not see her like that. I know….lol, how do you not?

 

I have only recently started to become more comfortable with my bi-sexuality. Did I just say that!! My what! A quick conversation with Richard brought it all out into the open. I think we were sitting in my car just chatting and I said “You don’t really think I am bi-sexual do you?” He laughed so hard and told me that of course I was. I told him I didn’t think so. I tried to explain that to me it is not so much about the sex of the person you are with or what body parts they have or don’t have…it is about the act itself…the pleasure and the touching….the feelings that two people share when they touch. It all makes sense to me. I think people limit themselves as far as how much pleasure they will allow themselves to feel. I don’t want to do that. I do not want to live my life day to day with another woman. When I chose a partner it will be a man…and not because that is societies expectation of me. I just want what I want…I would hope that whoever I end up with as a life partner will indulge me in that way and allow me to have women in my life so that I can continue to explore and discover all sides of my sexuality. Perhaps too it is just I am not all about labels…what does bi sexual mean anyway…I mean to say someone is this or that doesn’t change who they are it only changes how ignorant people understand them. I see it being a side of my sexuality that I am only beginning to explore but it doesn’t define who I am anymore than being heterosexual did or being submissive does. It is just pleasure and mutual touching. What could be wrong with that? I am all grown up after all.

 

Being with Alex that night was a good example. She is attractive to me. She has a different type of beauty- it doesn’t hit you as soon as you see her. She is bigger than I am- not in a bad way just bigger boned and broader everywhere.  She is the type of person I just like to be around. She is real and fun and makes me feel good. When she laughs you have to laugh with her because she can just light up. She has this sometimes brusque manner that would unnerve me if I wasn’t secure that she truly liked me. I have learned how to take her. Plus…I genuinely like her. I told her that I have several friends and she is the only one I want to see naked…lol. She is the only one I have ever made cum too but I won’t go too deeply into that.

 

We went to dinner together and talked and talked and talked. It is so nice to sit and talk with her. To know that the person at your table knows everything about you…I have had her support through the demise of what Mark and I shared and her support through all the ups and downs of Richard and pixie. Also she knows the real person behind the pixie…the one who has a family and a career and all that comes with balancing the two on my own. I feel stronger when I am with her. I see what I am doing too…I tend to not be satisfied until I figure myself out and while I do not think everyone has an agenda I admit that with Alex to begin with I did. And it wasn’t just that her husband is super hot…though he really really is hot- I am attracted to him in a way that may get us all into trouble one day.

I found that I was trying to place strong female role models in my life. I believe a person can give themselves what they need…what they never had and I think I am doing a pretty good job of it.

 

After dinner we returned to her suite and sat on the sofa and talked some more. We started to talk about the past and how we met…I laughed and said I wondered what Mark would think if he knew that by bringing the two of us together so long ago would result in she and I remaining friends this way. She said she imagined he would have the same reaction Max and Richard would have and that being them wondering why we still had our clothing on.

 

For the record…Alex isn’t bi sexual at all. She and I are similar in several ways. We both have an appreciation for beauty…as does L. We both are fascinated with certain aspects of the female form…and we both love the sensual comforting touch of a feminine hand that is so different from a man’s. We differ in that all of those feminine soft touches and caresses as well as the visual side of it are erotic to me. While she is happy with exploring and touching I find that I would want to progress to a bit more substance. Yet on the other hand because I am submissive and feel naturally submissive to her I was happy to not take it further than what we did. It was erotically comforting to be in her bed and have her hands on me…I didn’t feel any pressure to be anything than what I was. I was being enjoyed and enjoying her. And it was for US…we weren’t doing it for Max. We weren’t doing it for Richard. We held each other and touched each other because it felt good.

 

We were just talking and the more playfully heated the conversation got the less likely it was that we were going to leave our clothes on. I am not sure just how it happened but we were both down to our panties and bras….oddly enough we both were wearing all black. I had on the black boy panties that Richard had given me and a black demi bra…and she was in a black bra and a black lace thong. 

 

We are very different. We are just built differently. I see her as more womanly than I see myself….I envy her curves and long legs. I am small and dainty were she is more all woman. I guess she makes my body look childish.

 

We were comfortable half dressed with each other and I think it was Alex that suggested we take off our clothes and go ‘cuddle’. We stood up and watched each other finish undressing. She led me over to the slate black desk on the other side of the room and sort of pressed me against her…I found myself a bit bent over the desk and her hands stroking my back and my bottom. She said I had left something with her when I saw her and Max last and she placed my pink leather collar around my neck. She stood behind me then and continued to stroke my body bending over me slightly she cupped my breasts and pulled me against her whispering ‘ let’s go’ into my ear. I followed her into her bedroom.

 

I was aroused. Like I explained above…,if that makes me bi-sexual than… oh well, whatever There are worse things to be and I am quite happy admitting that. We got into bed and she told me to lay on my side against her….I think half my brain closes down when I sink into that half little subbie mood that tends to happen when a collar is placed around my neck. In my mind I was remembering back to when it was the three of us…how Max had asked me to touch her. How he had pressed my face into her…I was lost in those thoughts and the sensual feelings that her soft hands were delivering to my body. She was so warm and her hands were gently brushing my breasts and my shoulders. She said that she had forgotten how tiny I was and she kissed my shoulder. It was clear to me again that we are different. She is content with touching and cuddling….and she said as much. She said she loved breasts…she loved touching mine and the feel of a woman’s hands on her. She rolled onto her back and I turned over so I was facing her. I explored her….touching her breasts and touching her in that soft place between them that is so pretty.

 

All of that was nice…to me it was erotic and sexual but it was more than that. It was bonding and made me feel even closer to her than I already did. I completely respect her limits and how she feels about going further with me. I know that I made her feel good when we were together with Max. She allowed me to touch her that night to please him…he is her dominant after all and seeing us together brought him enormous pleasure therefore she received pleasure from that. It all makes perfect sense. When I was pleasuring her I did it for myself….

 

I like knowing that….it gives me a feeling of independence and I am happy that Richard allowed me to spend some time with Alex. I feel like there has been so much uncertainty lately but this was just relaxing and refreshing….it was similar to being with Richard. I didn’t have to be anyone but who I am inside…I didn’t have to hide my strengths or my vulnerabilities.

 

Thank you Alex for a wonderful visit. Thank you Max  you incredibly sexy man-for letting it happen…..Thank you Richard for letting it happen.

12 thoughts on “Alex

  1. “He regretted allowing me to spend time with Max in Chicago late last year…”

    Why did he regret it? I have tried to look through the archives for the post but got busted by my boss for not doing my work….bah!

  2. Its lovely to ‘see’ you so relaxed pixie.

    I have never had the pleasure of girl time like this. I’ve always stopped short of flirting and hugging platonically.

    You make it sound so lovely. Thank you for sharing a little of your time with Alex here. I hope some day I’ll find a good friend to share this peaceful sensuality with too.

  3. *snort*

    i hate labels – they’re really so limiting.

    Whenever i tell people i have a wife, they always get this sort of blank expression on their face and ask…”So…you’re bi?”

    No, you monkey. i’m not bi. i am not equally attracted to men and women – i just happen to have met a few extraordinary women in my life who i’ve been lucky enough to be with. i don’t think that makes me bi – i think that makes me one damn lucky frog.

  4. Hey Pixie,

    If there is nothing wrong with being bisexual, then why do you keep trying to push that word away from yourself?

    “Bisexual” as a lable is not really a bad thing. People who can love both men and women need to have some word that they can use to explain their sexuality (when they feel like explaining it, say to a lover or a friend). The thing about being bisexual is that it’s invisible — if you are with a guy, people assume you are heterosexual. If you walk down the street holding hands with a woman, people assume you’re a lesbian.

    I often jokingly consider getting “bisexual” tattooed on my forehead!

    The thing about being bisexual is that you don’t have to do it any one way. You don’t have to love women the same amount as you love men! Or vice versa!

    I know a very, very kinky woman, who’s had sex with lots of women. She considers herself bisexual, but she explains it as, “I take women as lovers, but I ‘nest’ with men.” (Meaning she tends to have a primary relationship, where you move in together and share a life, just with men.) It’s just how she works, and there’s nothing wrong with that! She also happens to have a female lover who she has been with for about 10 years!

    On the other hand, I have friends who tend to be in long-term primary relationships with women, but occasionally find a male play-partner.

    I was at a caning demo at our local dungeon the other night, and this very, very gay man was teaching the class. He did four demos on other men, and was obviously very into them! But then, the last demo person came out, and she was a girl — and this wonderful old leatherman, happily fondled her breasts as he demonstrated caning techniques on her, and obviously enjoyed getting to play with a woman as well as with men. It warmed my heart, I tell you! 🙂

    My ex-girlfriend (who is still my best friend) is very much like you, sexually. Men are who she sees herself settling down with. But she and I, over the years, have had some wonderful times kissing, caressing, snuggling, and giving each other sweet, sensuous orgasms. (She also has one of the world’s finest bottoms to spank!) What she gets from women is something she cannot get from men — that amazing purely female energy that comes from pressing soft skin together, and sharing long tastes of soft-soft lips. For a long time, she was in denial about being bisexual … but she has now come to realize it’s just a handy term to explain to people that she can share sexual love with another woman, as well as with men. That’s all it is! “Bisexual” as a term should never limit who you are or how you love — no words should ever limit you!

    Of course, “omni-sexual” is a great term, too! Or, I tend to go for “queer,” myself, because I think it encapsulates my kinky side as well as my general attraction to “anything that moves.” [huge grin]

    There is nothing wrong with wanting special playtime with women. And there is no reason not to “own” that, and use the “B” word.

    Think about the Kinsey scale of sexuality:

    0 Exclusively heterosexual
    1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
    2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
    3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
    4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
    5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
    6 Exclusively homosexual

    As long you are not “0” or “6” — well, you are a flavor of bisexual! Which means that the term “bisexual” is the least limiting term there is! 🙂

  5. Zille, from one bisexual to another, thanks for the great explanation you gave – and for saving me from having to do it myself! (Tho I will add that the fact that I am in a monogamous – and hopefully long-term – relationship with a man, doesn’t make me any less bi.)

  6. Thank you Zille thats the best I ever heard bi describe…

    May I have permission to use it..of course with giving you full credit…

    Thanks His Fawn

  7. I am fine with saying i am bi-sexual…it isn’t THAT label it is labels period. i do not think they are necessary. i am not pushing that away from me just making it my own i suppose.

    🙂

  8. glad you’re back home safe and sound. and no thanks necessary, it was truly my pleasure. xoxo

  9. Thank you, oatmeal girl! And, I’m in a monogamous relationship with my (male) Master. He might let us date another woman one day, but for now, he is my sex life — and of course that doesn’t make me any less bi than when I was in a LTR with a woman for 7 years!

    His fawn — my goodness, thank you! Of course you can use it! Please just link in the post to my blog, as I plan on having a longer discussion of bisexuality there sometime soon!

    Pixie — I understand not wanting to be limited by labels! But I think you are quite strong enough to take any lable you like and make it your own! 😀

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