S/M

putting it back together

The apartment felt cool to both of us when we walked in. I detest the cold so we immediately turned the air down. I knew one or both of us would be completely if not fully undressed so I had hoped to make it as comfortable as possible. He sat down and he motioned for me to kneel beside him so we could chat. I love feeling close to him like this. Just being beside him. Being his focus and being able to make him my focus…is a wonderful feeling..

“Unbutton my shirt pixie.” I crawled over a little closer to him and began to unbutton the satiny feeling buttons on his green and white striped dress shirt. I breathed in his familiar smell and felt the involuntary clenching of in my cunt when is hands came around and found my nipples. As I continued to unbutton his shirt he played with me, he pulled my small summer dress over my head and tossed it on the chair behind me. I was naked beneath the pale yellow cotton of my sundress and he pushed me away just a little so his eyes could take in my nakedness. Richard is like that. He thinks I am beautiful and he makes me feel beautiful like no other man has ever been able to do. It is in his gaze and in his fingers as they trace my skin or the outline of my cheek across my face. I think that is why I was able to let go of my modesty with him as quickly as what I did. He demanded it. He took that from me by demanding me to hold my cunt open for him and by bending over and holding myself open so he could touch and see and explore me.

He pushed me back down to my knees again.

“Turn around pixie; I want you on your hands and knees. Bottom high..thats a good girl. Arch your back up for me. Thats right.” As he spoke his hands touched me pressing into my back reminding me just how he needed me to be positioned. His foot was between my knees and he softly nudged my legs further apart.

“Open pixie…don’t close yourself. You know better.” His finger played around my cunt..circling my clit but never dipping inside the dampness that was quickly forming. “Ahh…” he said appreciatively. ” Always such a good little cunt for your Owner, aren’t you pixie. I’ve barely touched you and you are already wet for me. Aren’t you?”

“Yes Sir.” I said arching back just a little pressing myself into him loving the surrender of knowing he would do whatever he wanted.

“You need a spanking…how long has it been since I have spanked you pixie? I think it has been too long.”

I wiggled my bottom a little hoping he would take that as the affirmative answer. I did need a spanking. I had felt that build up inside myself for the past few days and I can recognize what it is. I needed him to pull me back to him…and in the best way possible..through pain and need and taking he would give me what I needed.

His hand caressed my bottom softly and his finger traced down from the bottom of my spine around to my damp cunt tickling me in between and making me wonder what he would do to me after spanking me. I giggled sort of sighing in pleasure at his touch.

His hand suddenly was in my hair at the back of my neck. He yanked my head back and held it so he could look right into my face.

“I am NOT playing with you pixie.” he said his hand tightening in my hair. He pulled me up by my hair and my hands clutched at his arms trying to twist away from the pain in my head. He tossed me backwards onto the bed and flipped me over so I was face down on the bed. I felt him gather my wrist behind me and bind me tightly with rope….he then pulled the rope around slightly and circled it around my neck two or three times. It was tight but not so tight I could breath. I couldn’t turn my head or move my arms or it would tighten further and cut off my air. My Owner is a genius at ropes.

“Are you still laughing pixie?
“No..no Sir.” He was between my legs and I heard the clink of the cuffs as he tightened them around my ankles. I felt the roughness of the wooden spreader bar as he spread my legs wide and connected the bar to the cuffs. He added another set of cuffs to my thighs and connected a smaller spreader bar to them. I struggled a little realizing I was almost immobile. I couldn’t close my legs at all. I couldn’t move my arms or turn my head. He added the black ball gag and then tied a scarf around the gag making sure I couldn’t get it out.
“I need you still and quiet pixie.” He rolled me over and I struggled almost panicking because I realized with added tightness across my arms I couldn’t breath. The ropes bit into my neck and it as hard for me to take a deep breath. I got that hot feeling in my chest…that scary feeling like it was going to explode.

Richard just watched me. His eyes darker than usual, he had that look on his face. The one where my suffering arouses him to such a state neither one of us know what is going to happen next. He said some things to me and I don’t remember what he said. I just remember him flipping me roughly back over onto me stomach and then almost instantly feeling his body covering my own. He paused there and I could feel his heart beating. He kissed the back of my neck and stroked my hair. He told me he loved me.

His hands and lips touched my skin…all around my neck and my shoulders and I could tell he was listening to my breathing making sure I was ok. He must have recognized that look in my eyes….the one that tells him I am in that place he created for me. The one where I can take anything he needs for me to take, the one where the only feelings are pleasure and submission. He began to spank me…hard stinging smacks with the flat of his hand. Up and down the backs of my legs and on my bottom. The sound… an almost soothing cadence that I didn’t want to stop. I felt a little sweaty and closed my eyes letting the sensations fall like sparks around me amazed at the pure pleasure I was getting from him hitting me. There is nothing in the world like it.
He paused long enough to bring the strap to the bed. He folded it over in his hand and I felt his other hand on the back of my neck. He pressed me hard down into the bed and I felt the ropes tighten again but I could still breath.

The strap landed on my bottom a dozen times, maybe two before I was openly sobbing and asking him to stop. It was a release I needed though…I didn’t need the pain to stop. I just needed something else. He untied me and pulled me down to the floor in front of him. His words sounded like dull buzzes in my ear that I instinctively obeyed. He removed the gag and the spreader bars. I heard them fall to the floor and hated the rubbery taste the gag left in my mouth.

“Look at me pixie.” His voice was rough and gentle at the same time. I looked up at him and he smacked my face….once and then again before pressing my forehead against the floor. He told me to arch my back for him. “Don’t move…” he warned me. I wouldn’t have dared. I felt his hand press against my hot cunt and he rubbed me briefly and I was begging him to let me cum. He said yes….and I did instantly. The rope hung loosely around my neck and he pulled me up by it so that I was on my knees once again in front of him.

He told me to breathe …again he said holding my head against his leg stroking my hair and my back. I trembled each time he touched me. There is something there that is impossible to explain….that feeling that follows us into the room, that feeling that follows us wherever we go. I can’t describe that. What series of words can explain submitting to someone and trusting someone enough to give him…really truly give him your body knowing he will hurt it. I do that. I do that whenever he touches me and demands that of me. And each time that feeling grows and it heals and it covers old fears and builds small bridges and connections over the dirty waters that flow through me still that I have not yet purged. The pain and safety and trust all builds up and makes me see myself as worthy of the strength it takes to give it all to him….the love and the affection I get from him make it possible to take the pain and use it to heal myself and feel good about what it is that I need. That is why I was so freaked out when I thought he was removing that element of what we share…it is why I wouldn’t walk with him another day without trusting that the love and softness and the safety that is always tender at the end of the pain would be there.

“I am going to cane you pixie…you are ready…you need it as badly as I need it. Don’t you?”
I pressed my head against his thigh… “Yes Sir…” I whispered it softly but he heard me. He knew what I needed….that I needed to hear the slice of the cane and feel the bite of it across my back. I needed it.
With the rope in his hand he led me across the room…I crawled after him like a small pet and he patted the chair telling me to bend across it.
He tied the rope to the chair and the black knot in front of me was the reminder that I was owned….I was tied to a chair…naked, sweaty and hot.
“ Ask me to cane you pet. Beg me….tell me you need it.” As he spoke he pressed two fingers deep inside my cunt in search of that sweet spot only he has ever touched. I begged him to cane me…I meant every word knowing I needed it…already imagining the sting. Hoping he would ignore my whimpers and my begging when it got to be too much. Hoping in my mind that he would make me take more than even I think I can take. It’s a limit that hasn’t been broken in awhile.
I felt the cane rest softly against my back…it felt deceivingly heavy. He walked around me and knelt down in front of me. Forehead to forehead he told me I was everything to him. He kissed me softly…told me I was safe…that he was there and that he loved me. Again…that I was safe. I closed my eyes and felt my fingernails dig into the plushness of the chair. The cane came down.
Over and over he brought the cane down across my bottom and my back. He was doing five or six quick not so hard blows followed by two or three that I could barely breath through. I was panting and moaning trying so hard to stay on top of the pain yet feeling myself sinking further and further away until I felt nothing. I only heard myself breathing. I heard the cane. I heard him breathing all as if it was through a tube held close to my ear. I felt wetness drip down my thighs and I felt his fingers play with me. I felt and tasted my own juices as he rubbed his hand across my face and slipped his fingers into my mouth. Feeding me my own submission even as he hurt me. Then I felt his cock press against my cunt and he pushed deep inside me pressing me deep into the chair. He thrust harder and harder before stopping.
“I am going to fuck your ass pixie.” I think I mumbled a ‘no’…I am not always able to take him that way. I knew physically I could…he had trained me to take all of him deep inside my ass…he had trained me to love it, to cum with him inside me. But at times the thought of him taking me that way scares me. He is endowed enough so that it is always hard for me…especially when scary Richard is just below the surface…especially when there was no lube in sight. “ Ask me to fuck your ass.”
“Richard…Sir…please, please fuck my ass.”
“Good girl…what a good girl you are.” He was playing with the swollen marks across my bottom pinching me and making me squirm even more.
“Reach back and spread those cheeks for me…that’s right. Show me what a good slut you are for your Owner. Hold yourself open pixie…now beg me again.” He said the last sentence when his cock was pressed right against my asshole. As the words left my mouth he thrust hard and deep inside of me. His hand came around and covered my mouth holding me hard to him pressing my face down into the chair. He was fucking my ass hard…..so hard I lost my breath, lost my ability to think of anything outside of him using me…of him owning me. I tried to speak and he pulled my head up by my hair… “What…what are you asking me?”
“Please Sir…may I cum”
“Ahh…yes my sweet love…cum for your Owner.” He pushed my head back down and thrust deeper inside of me until surely I was tearing in two. I came hard against him and heard him moan and quickly pull out of me. He pulled my head up again and moved around me so his cock was right in front of my face. I opened my mouth and he filled my mouth with his cock just in time for me to catch his cum. His hand on the back of my neck made sure I took him deeply…I tasted myself blended with the taste of him. I held his cum in my mouth even after he took his cock out…even after he pulled me off the chair and held me tight against him…even after he led me to the bed.
He laid me down beside him and covered us both with a sheet. “You may swallow pixie.” He knew I was waiting for his permission. I knew he expected that. I swallowed him and he kissed me…kissed my lips and my face before tucking me under his chin…wrapping his arms around my body and telling me to rest.

9 thoughts on “putting it back together

  1. Is it weird that on a BDSM blog I want to say, “Awwwww! He beat you and fucked you violently! That’s so sweet! Just like the Richard & Pixie we know and love!”

  2. Simply beautiful! I’m so very happy for you both.

    As a weird side note, can I say that I am in awe of you? I can’t do the in-my-mouth-after-my-butt thing without serious cleaning lol

  3. Yes, just like the Richard and pixie we all know and love. Nice to see the two of you haven’t lost your ‘touch’.

    I think now more than ever this is the sort of interactions pix needs with Richard.

  4. These are the kind of posts I miss reading here. I know that given everything that’s been going on and the changes, that these type of posts aren’t always possible, but it’s nice to read one again.

    Hope all is well.
    Lucy

  5. pixiepie –
    Thank you so much for these last three posts. While I can read back through the archives on my own, reading things you choose to repost reveals what you have carried forward from those intensely beautiful times. I would have chosen similarly.

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