make it last

I turned the corner after exiting the elevator and walked the short length of the hallway towards where I knew Richard was waiting for me. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and watched me walk towards him. I restrained myself and did not hop or leap towards him in my excitement to see him. It was so amazingly wonderful to see him. It had only been a few days since I had seen him but it always seems like a week or a month. He is going away this weekend and will be out of the country for a little over a month. I am filled with sadness knowing he is going away from me. I am going to miss him with everything inside of me. I am going to miss them both…lots and lots. On the other hand I know why he has to go away and I know that when he returns he will still want me and need me. I also know that when he goes away I go with him. I tease him sometimes that I am in his pocket and that he can just carry me around with him. Oh…I can only imagine how that would really feel lol….all snuggled up to some of my favorite spots. I like that….I like the almost newly found security that he can go away and not forget me. Though I am not silly enough to not worry he will go away with L and decide he does not need me….that I am more of a nuisance than anything else. Of course I get a little bit afraid. I also get scared that I will somehow move past that need…and we will be able to let each other go. Then I get frightened because I don’t know for sure if that would be the worst possible thing for either of us.

I walked up to him and he hugged me tightly. I literally melted into him and moments like that convince me it would be the worst possible thing to not have him in my life. It was so nice to see his face and see happiness in it. He has this way of looking at me…and I am not even sure if he realizes it but it is compelling and addicting. We walked into the room together and he spent another few long minutes just holding me. Again…..there are times when I am amazed at how gentle and loving he is with me. He is so patient and nurturing…all of that aides my submission to him. It creates that safety net beneath me when my submission has me so high….I know that when I am pulled into his cruelty there is still something more.

“Let me hold you…come sit on my lap.” he said sitting in a large overstuffed chair. I sat on his leg and he pulled me close to him and settled my head against his chest. I feel so safe there with him. So strange…I am sitting on the lap of the most sadistic person I have ever known and he is cradling me gently and whispering words that are hard for me to even hear. I tell him I am sleepy and he holds me a little tighter.

“You can sleep a little later.” he tells me. “First of all I want to see the pretty new lingerie you are wearing.” His voice was tender with only a hint of that edge that I wait for…that little edge he gets to his voice when he is looking for a little bit of control. I worry about my Owner right now…that he will hold back. That he won’t take what he needs from me….when in some ways I need it now more than ever. He ads something to my life that I am so thankful to have found…so lucky to be living. I stood up and started to undress for him. He laughs a little when I shyly look away and rewards me again with that indulgent look that I adore.

Beneath my clothes I wore the prettiest red lacey boy short panties and matching demi bra. I am not too sure about my body now in front of him. I have lost a lot of weight. I always wonder what he thinks of me….

His eyes and his voice tell me that he thinks I am beautiful and I lose my shyness right as he pulls me back on his lap. He holds me a little longer and then I ask him for permission to go shower. “Not yet.” he tells me before instructing me to lie across his knees. Right away my stomach flips. I love being over his lap…it is the most intimate of spankings. He has full access to my entire body and he wickedly takes advantage of it. He tells me he can hear my heart beating against his leg. He spanks me hard….a solid spanking that has me squirming after the first couple strokes. I know he delights in watching my skin go from pink to red and the dark impressions of his hand. I think sometimes that I could be spanked all day like that. He pulls me off of his lap and tells me to sit on the ottoman in front of him. I obey him and he starts to play with my body.

I am perched on the ottoman…breathless when he slips his finger inside the side of my panties. He watches my reaction. “Look at me.” he says when I try to look away. He presses my knees apart a little more when I instinctively attempt to close them.

“Hey..uh-uh. you know better than that.” His voice was soft still and my shyness is put away by my desire to please him. He discovers right away that I am wet. This embarrasses me sometimes. I feel like I am too wet….as if I am overly responsive to his ownership of me. I see him and respond. I find myself growing wet as I drive to meet him. I feel trained. Owned. Driven by my true desire to please him and allow him to take from me what he needs. I don’t know what I would do without him. The next few weeks will test my submission…in ways I imagine I have not even discovered yet.

“ Do you want to cum?”

“Yes Sir…please.” I whisper leaning into him hoping my plea will convince him I should be able to cum.

Richard gets that look on his face…he smiles at me. “Tell daddy how good this feels…tell me how you will cum for daddy.”

I am in agony…he knows I love this sort of talk. When he turns on the daddy side of his dominance I am more aroused than almost any other time we interact. I go immediately into little girl mode and there is a place in my mind that is truly his little girl. I am naughty when he tells me I am…just a slutty little girl who likes it when her daddy plays with her. The dynamic is erotic and arousing and I get lost in it.

“What is daddy doing?” he asks me…only it isn’t the grown up me he asks it is the little girl me he asks. And it is the little girl me who clutches his finger and responds…. “Please daddy…” I whisper too shy to answer him all of a sudden. His eyes warn me and I whimper. “Playing with me…..daddy has his finger in my cunt.” He smiles again and tells me what a good girl I am…what a bad girl too. He makes me cum hard right there sitting on the ottoman. He makes me lick his finger clean and I remember that I like how I taste. He hugs me close to him again and asks me if I still want to go shower….instead I slip down to my knees. “Can I please just kneel for a few minutes?”

“Of course pixie.” He sounds amused…happy and settled. His hands are soft in my hair as I kneel in front of him. I rest my head against the warmth of his thigh and just settle my pounding heart. He lets me linger there for several minutes…he is playing with my hair and my neck and my eyes are closed.

His arousal is evident as he tells me to remove his shoes…to take off his belt and to open his pants. I obey him and he strokes his cock in front of my face…I look up at him and I want it…I want him. “Suck daddy’s cock….put daddy’s cock in your mouth like a good girl.”

I moan as I lean into him and take him gently into my mouth. First I lick the shimmery little drop of cum from it’s tip. I take him deeper…still gentle. I know what he likes and he presses my head further down onto his cock. It fills my mouth and I can barely breathe. He holds my head there…almost cutting off my breath before letting go. He indulges me for a few minutes before sending me to the shower.

He goes with me and starts my water…he stands there with the curtain half open and watches me shower. We talk…and he laughs with me. We can be silly….and yet I know in a few minutes he will not be silly. I will not be laughing and he will be hurting me.

He helps me shower before turning off my water. I can dry myself off but he helps and then he tosses a towel across my head and hugs me tight. I catch a glance of his face in the mirror and I sense a sadness about him…a conflict. before I can ask he speaks. “What a conflict you are pixiepie….I am caught between the desire to protect you and the urge to hurt you. We’ve always known that though haven’t we?”

He holds me a few moments longer before pulling away and pulling me with him back into the other room. He pushes me against the wall and places a pillow beneath my chest. Hold this against the wall he tells me….keep your arms above your head and step back. I was leaning into the wall…my bottom pressed out and my arms high. He walks away and returns with a long thin cane. I have seen this one before. It is more like a switch….it is whippy and it can do damage. The room is dark and I can feel him carefully line the cane up on my bottom as he prepared for that first stroke. I heard it coming and then felt it a second after….I almost fell to my knees. There was a slight wrap around and the tip of the cane sliced through the skin on my hip. It instantly opened my skin and blood appeared. “You’ve cut me.” I dared to say because I knew it was not deliberate. I also knew he had no qualms about breaking my skin but for obvious reasons he was being more careful for me. I remember the first time his cane made me bleed. https://pixiepie.wordpress.com/2008/01/08/back-to-good/

He instantly rinsed me off….made sure the bleeding stopped. Kissed it better and again pressed me against the wall. his fingers were between my legs and my wetness was dripping on my thighs. He was more careful this time when he caned me…but it was no less intense. It was hard. He walked away and returned with another cane…thicker, less whippy and began to cane me again. Harder this time it seemed and I moaned into the wall…I bit into the pillow but I pressed my bottom out to him. I wanted him to hurt me. I needed it…and even as I struggled through the pain I wanted it. And when he again walked away I knew he was going to get yet another cane….each one different in intensity and sensation. I found myself watching him and his reaction to my pain…to my submission fed my desire to give him more and more. When my arms slipped he made me keep them up…when my legs closed he made me open them. I was his…totally Owned by him and he knew it. He is behind me and I feel his cock press against my cunt…I whimper my need and squirm against him needing to feel him drive into me. I don’t want it gentle…I want him….my Owner fucking me….fucking me hard against the wall where every thrust sends pain through me….where I can feel every stroke of the cane when his hot skin makes contact. He hand is on the back of my neck and he presses me hard into the wall as he fucks me. He is talking and I can hear him….I know I hear him because I am responding.

I feel myself being pulled and then I am against the cool metal of the door. The pillow has fallen away and he has me up on my tippy toes face first against the door…his cock still deep inside of me. His hands are pulling my nipples….my hair…he is hurting me. He tells me to look out the hole in the door. He asks me if anyone is out there….he asks me if there is anyone out there that would like to see me being fucked. I can only moan…I can only press against him. He unlocks the door….I stop breathing because I know what he is thinking…I know what he wants to do. I know he wants to torment me…I can feel his sadistic mind working and he knows how humiliated I will be if he opens the door….if there was someone there…if someone could hear….

I was moaning…full of pleasure and fear…and humiliation. I knew he could do whatever he wanted to me. His arm pressed in to the back of my neck pressing me firmly against the door…and he continued to fuck me hard. I shuddered when he relocked the door and flipped me around. He practically threw me against the other wall and pressed my back against the wall. He slapped my face…more than once. I wanted more. His hands slapped my breasts over and over….and I wanted more of that too. I think he knew I was in that place where I could take anything. I remember something he wrote once here https://pixiepie.wordpress.com/category/breast-torture/.

He said… “She would do anything I asked of her. My job is not to ask too much. She has no way of protecting herself from the sadism that is in my head – there is complete trust – and it is a responsibility I understand and take seriously.”

He is right….I trust him. I don’t need protection from him or his sadism. I still wanted more when he grabbed my breast and used it as a handle to pull me across the room. He tossed me on the bed and pressed me hard onto my stomach. He was inside me in a second and was caught between my scary Richard….and my gentle Owner Richard. He told me later that it was a special experience….it was a time to reconnect with my Owner. It was almost as if we were just lovers….the way he held me and kissed me and made me a part of him. That is why I don’t need protection from him….there is this part of him too. That is the part of him that keeps me safe….

Several long moments later I was again beneath him and his fingers were digging so hard into my nipples I felt as if they were ripping….later I was thrilled the skin had broken a little. I can’t hurt myself like that…even when I masturbate. I told him that it is easier for me to make myself cum when my nipples ache from his abuse.

He spanked me again….I feel at this point spanked all over. And then I am back on my stomach and he is deep in my ass….he fills me. I love it…I love the slight pain that lingers in me for days after he fucks me there. I like thinking that he took me….that he hurt me…when every time I move it is a reminder that he Owns me.

He tells me he is going to fill my ass with his cum…and I feel him begin to tense…I right away have the urge to taste him. I want his cum in my mouth…and I find the courage to make a desperate plea to my Owner…. “please Sir…cum in my mouth…i want to taste you.”

I am a lucky sub…he pulled out of me and pushed me down on the bed so my face was right beneath his cock. “Open your mouth.” It was already opened and I literally was craving the taste of him…he came deep in my mouth and I heard the noises he makes when he cums…I don’t even know if he realizes his sounds. He tells me to swallow…

I take my time loving the taste of him.

We spent the next hour or so lingering over each other…him holding me…my head relaxing on his leg gently cleaning his cock…lots of gentle touches and voices. I dozed a little and he encouraged that knowing I sleep more soundly with him than I ever do alone. Finally after my stomach growled for the sixth time he said we were going to eat. Another shower…he helped me dress….and we went out to a late dinner.

It was a special night…our last night together before he left. This is an annual trip for him that I know he needs…she needs it too. But still I miss him. It is hard having him so far away. Especially now. It is as hard on him to be away from me….I know that. Five weeks seems longer to me this year. Time seems shorter for me…more important I suppose. And I ache with his loss knowing a lot can change in a month. We needed this last night to leave on a good note…to have that special night to carry me through is priceless.

6 thoughts on “make it last

  1. Thank you for sharing…selfishly…i needed needed to hear a voice in my own life to what You wrote…

    You are in my thoughts..

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