Missing R

“There is no more lively sensation than that of pain; its impressions are certain and dependable, they never deceive as may those of the pleasure women perpetually feign and almost never experience.”
~ Marquis de Sade

Wow……I just realized my stats are over 300,000. Thanks to all my readers!!

My mind is distracting me. My body right now is a little weak yet my mind busy, my spirit strong, my urges irrepressible.

I need to give myself to my Owner.

The urge to serve him is as strong as it ever was. I hate that he is far away. I am lacking an outlet for all of this energy and I find it close to painful. Sometimes I sit and think about all that he and I have done together. All the nights where he took me right to the edge and held me dangling just over. How I love those moments with him where there is just no question that I belong to him. The moments where his hands are free to hurt me, bruise me, make me bleed.

My body feels a little empty right now…he is gone and I need to feel his hands on me. It is true pain. I can’t make it go away. It seems as if emotionally I am dealing with his absence this time far better than I am dealing with it physically. I miss him, I ache with missing him yet I know he will come back and love me. I will still be his and there will be nothing to stop us from being together. I have a handle on that. Yet physically I am struggling with my need to be touched, to be hurt.

I think about him putting me on my stomach and stretching my arms and legs so he can attach them together. I think about watching his fingers on my nipples as he pulls them out far from my body and twists them until I have to cry out…or when he can so easily flip me over and bring his hand down on my bottom over and over until I am burning with the pain of his hand and the ache between my legs is painful. I think about his cane and how it looks so natural in his hand and the look he gets on his face when he is using it on me. I also think about the strong desire that overwhelms me when I so desperately want to please him.

I want him to come home and touch me…I want him to hurt me and use me.

I want him to take me to places where he has only warned me about. I want to go to that dark place he only teases me with sometimes. I want to know that I have offered my full self to him before I go away forever.

I have a few weeks left until he comes back to me. After Thanksgiving. How will I wait that long?

5 thoughts on “Missing R

  1. One of the reasons your stats are so high is that we–your voyeurs–on some level crave what you and R share. Maybe we fantasize about one of you or the other very specifically, or maybe it’s just the paradigm of the relationship that we want for ourselves.

    In any case, I found myself wondering what it would be like to meet the other readers of this blog. The simple fact that we, on some level, find ourselves aroused by your relationship would be such a large thing to have in common. Perhaps at its extreme we would even roleplay pixie and Richard? lol

    I guess the reason I bring it up is that I was trying to imagine how long I would have to know someone who didn’t read this blog before I would feel comfortable enough to explain this kind of craving/attraction . . . and then the whole issue of wondering if they’d understand. It would be nice knowing from the start that we were all on the same page.

    Keep writing.

  2. Sometimes I surf over here wanting to post a comment and then I realize that really all I have is a wordless hug to share. Just thinking of you and sending you warm thoughts. Blessings Pixie. *smiles*

  3. Really interesting thoughts there Caliban, I would feel comfortable discussing my desires with any one of the readers here, yet my best friends? No way!

    Hugs to you lil pixie, time spent apart makes for better time spent together.


  4. sometimes i think distance is the biggest test of submission. its so hard to crave a specific someone who truly undertands you at your core and to be parted from them. i find it helps to focus on the joy of their return. thinking of you and wishing you well x

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