He stood just more than two feet away from the girl kneeling in front of him. She was looking down, her dark eyes examining some imaginary piece of dirt on the hard wood floor beneath her. She was still dressed. Upon entering the room he immediately instructed her to kneel. She obeyed him and slipped gracefully to the floor where she knelt prettily her unbound arms above her head, her delicate fingers laced together.He walked around her and stood slightly off to the side as if assessing her from all angles. She shifted just a little to watch him as she was a little unsure of his intent.“I rarely punish you. You rarely give me cause and I have no desire to play that game with you. Tonight is not a punishing you. You please me, you are pleasing me now. Tonight is about pain. Your pain and I crave it tonight.”She squirmed a little and he could hear her breathing quicken and he knew his words were both arousing and frightening to her. He had hurt her before, many times in fact and yet there was something different in his mind tonight. He felt a stark callousness towards his submissive tonight that had nothing to do with his true and deep feelings for her. There was a raw almost primitive need inside of him that had been growing. He owned her. She was his to do with as he pleased and he saw no good reason to not take advantage of the gift before him.“Stand up.” She obeyed him and stood up as gracefully as she had knelt. He noticed the redness on her knees from the hard floor and he noted to himself even that slight discoloration on her skin that he caused thrilled him. He was going to rough with her tonight both in his words and with his hands. She kept her hands laced together above her head and looked at him with eyes that were filled with trust and a little fear.“It is good to be a little scared of me, isn’t it?” He stood in front of her and ran his hands down over her body possessively, roughly loving the feel of her even above her clothing. The white shirt she was wearing has small buttons on it and one by one he opened her top baring her soft white skin, He slid the cotton down on her shoulders and pulled her bra down so that her small but sweetly firm breasts were displayed. Moments like this he often fought the urge to gently suck and kiss her nipples. No gentleness tonight.He attached two metal clamps to her small nipples. The steel was sharp and biting and with any encouragement from him or any resistance from her they would break her skin. She moaned and tossed her head back a little trying to stay on top of the sudden pain that jumped around her chest. His hands cupped her breasts and shook them hard back and forth causing the metal to tighten and pull. He slapped each breast hard watching her face, watching her eyes and knowing she was his. Knowing this pain would be slight compared to where his mind was already taking her. He slapped each breast again and again noticing with great pleasure that her nipples were bleeding slightly. He pulled on the clamps and felt her sway as if the pain was almost too much.“Undress for me.” With shaky hands she pulled off her blouse and bra and he took them from her. Her skirt and panties followed and he tossed everything to the side. Naked now she stood in front of him. Her small breasts were red from his hands and her nipples looked as if they were already raw. By her hair he pulled her down to her knees and kicked her legs apart. He pressed her chest down to the floor so her bottom was in the air. When her breast made contact with the hard floor she almost screamed out in pain. He closed his eyes and tried to absorb the beauty of that sound.He pressed her harder into the floor knowing the clamps were tearing into her delicate skin. She moaned.“Sit up you little cunt. Tell me what you are.” he said his hand around her throat.“A cunt, your cunt Sir.”“Good girl, good cunt.” he said emphasizing the word. His hand slipped between her legs and encountered her dripping wetness. He loved her responsiveness to him…her eagerness to please him. “What a wet cunt you are…what a bad little cunt you are for getting this wet. Aren’t you?” He slapped her face hard four or five times keeping his other hand stroking her cunt. She was pressing against him and was almost ready to cum when he stopped. Hard hands pushed her and she fell backwards onto the bed. He straddled her and pulled again on the metal clamps watching the sharp teeth pinch into already bloodied skin.Giving them a quick and final twist he removed them. This time she did scream. His fingers were pinching and twisting her tormented nipples as she thrashed beneath him.He slapped her face again this time harder and he told her to hold still.“I am not even close to being finished with you.” He replaced the metal clamps with tight wooden clothes pins. He didn’t stop with her nipples. He covered her breast with clothes pins…he added some down her side and right beneath her arms where he knew the skin was incredibly sensitive.“Roll over.” She rolled onto her stomach arching up suddenly against the pain from the clothes pins biting into her skin. He lay on top of her pressing his weight into her causing the pins to pull and bite. Her nipples were agony for her and she moaned and begged him to stop.He pressed her face into the bed and imagined she couldn’t breathe. He pressed it harder down into the soft bedding and felt the resistance as she struggled to find fresh air. He felt a great power from his control and domination of her. He released her and he reveled in the sounds of her gasping for air as she lifted her head.He had about three more dozen clothes pins and he added them to the skin on her back. He created a straight line directly down her spine and added the rest to the backs of her thighs. He left her bottom bare knowing he had other plans for it.“I want you to get up and then crawl into the bathroom for me. I have a special treat for my cunt today.”She gingerly slid off the bed and crawled towards the large bathroom. Her every move sent pain rippling through her body. It was a good pain she realized, it was the kind of pain that fed that dark part of her. She loved it. She loved it when he stopped her mid crawl to spank her bottom hard…that he reached around her and pulled on the pins attached to her nipples. She loved this pain that pulled her submission out. His hand landed harder and harder on her bottom until she felt herself scoot along a little on the hard floor from its force. He spanked her again and again and she lifted her bottom to him and she was thankful for every time his hand made contact with her skin.“You need to work on your crawling.” He said this as the spanking slowed. He left her for a second and returned with her heavy black collar. He laced it around her neck and then added the lead to it. She was humiliated. He loved it.“Now you truly are a pet, my pet.” He pulled hard on her leash forcing her head against the floor. Her chest again against the hardness of the wood beneath her..and he spanked her again.They finally made it to the bathroom and she liked the cool feeling of the tile on her knees. He attached her leash to the hook on the back of the bathroom door and had her bend over the bathtub. “Do you know what I am going to do to you?”“No..Sir.”“First I am going to remove some of these clothes pins.” He savagely yanked three from her back and then three more before she had the chance to recover. He was thrilled that she was so well trained that she held her position. Her cry of pain was still in his ears and he knew there would be more of that. It was the only reason he didn’t gag her.She heard him begin to unbuckle his belt. She knew that sound and she knew what it meant. The next sound she heard was the leather slipping out from the buckles and again she heard the metal buckle chime.“This is what I am going to do. Now be a good little girl for me and listen. I am going to beat you with my belt. Hard. So hard you will be begging me to stop. Then I am going to turn you over and beat your breasts with my belt. I am going to beat off all the clothes pins except for the ones on your nipples. Get used to them they aren’t going anywhere. After that I am going to do something I have waited a long time to do. I am going to give you an enema. That’s right….I am going to fill your little ass up with warm water and then plug you up real tight. What does my little cunt think of that? Three holes, remember…that is what you are. Say it to me.” He watched her squirm over the high bathtub and he knew the clothes pins were still hurting her. His cock ached and he needed to be inside of her.“I am your three holes Sir.”“Tell me again.” And she did. “I can do anything to you, can’t I? My own little slut…my wet dripping pain slut.” He brought the belt down across her back leaving a ladder of redness the entire way to her bottom. He doubled the belt over and beat her bottom with it until it was so red it appeared almost shiny. She whimpered and begged him to stop and he made her beg him for more. He used the belt on the backs of her legs where the clothes pins were still attached. He was relentless in his swing and soon the cushion the clothes pins gave was gone as the pins flew off her red thighs. He continued to punish her loving the sound of leather against skin. He caught her by the hair and pulled her off the side of the tub and down onto the floor. She was on her back and he stood over her. “Cunt.” he whispered before using the single strap of the belt to knock off the clothes pins that hadn’t already came off.He placed his foot against her throat and pressed down just hard enough to restrict her breathing a little. She kept her hands on the floor and never tried to move his foot. She was struggling for air but he wasn’t ready to release her. Instead he leaned down and pulled up on the clothes pins still on her nipples. She gave a gargled almost silent scream and he lifted his foot long enough to she could draw a ragged breath before once again placing it on her throat. He pulled again on the clothes pins twisting them roughly loving the sounds she was making as he hurt her. He straddled her again right there on the bathroom floor. His hands pulled at her nipples…smacking her breasts over and over. The feel of her squirming and moaning in pain beneath him was incredible. He ripped off the clothes pins just so he could put them back on. He did this two or three times until her nipples were purple and swollen. He put them back on and left.He lifted her head up slightly and pressed his cock against her lips. He fucked her mouth hard….thrusting in deep until she almost gagged. He thrust in as deep as he could and held his cock in her mouth forcing her to take all of him. “Good cunt” he said pulling out and wiping his cock across her face loving the shame that flashed in her eyes. “Are you ready for your enema?”She shook her head slightly and said no…that she was embarrassed, scared.He wanted her that way…this was uncharted territory for her. It wasn’t as if he was into this type of dynamic…but he was into humiliating her and this was certainly a great way to make that happen.He had her lay across the tub again. He slipped a dry finger into her bottom causing her to cry out a little. He pressed it deeper into her and then made her ask for it. “Where is my finger slut?”“It is in my ass…”“Ask me to give you an enema…tell me my little girl needs her daddy to get her all cleaned up. Say it?”She stumbled a little but she obeyed him…loving the daddy little girl dynamic he threw in.“Please daddy.” she repeated. “please give your little girl an enema…please Sir.”
Category: clothes pins
back to good
I saw Richard today over a long extended afternoon lunch. I was afraid that things would feel differently. Isn’t it strange how your mind can make you think and your thoughts can make you feel vulnerable? I am trying so hard to not think about myself right now..I think that by nature I have a selfish streak in me. Richard is helping me with that…it isn’t a deliberate lesson it is by example. Some may see what he did as selfish. There are certainly points supporting that…some may support staying in a marriage that doesn’t meet your most base needs because it is the right thing to do…I admire him for giving her the chance to really know and accept him for who he really is.
Yet like I said..I am selfish and often my first thought is ‘me…how is this going to change this wonderful thing that I have found?’ So today when Richard called me this morning and said he wanted..no needed to see me over a long lunch I was thrilled. The color was high in my face and I floated through my busy morning. I was at an amusement park all weekend…the Merry-go-round…..the teeter-totter..the roller coaster experience of this entire thing had exhausted me and I needed to find solace in Richard’s arms. He knew this. He knew I needed him today…our need was shared and when I walked in the apartment he was quick to gather me up and hold me. He whispered a million reassurances in my ear…asking me to never doubt what I mean to him..what ‘this’ meaning the gifts we give each other mean to him…and that everything was working out…and that I was still very much Owned by him. He said so much yet his hands on me said so much more.
He was wearing a towel when I walked in..still damp from the shower. He teased me that I can look at him naked now without blushing. Somehow we both ended up stretched out on the bed and he just held me against him and we talked about his weekend. He told me specifics about some conversation he had with L and we talked about how her acceptance of me in his life was evolving more rapidly than what either of us expected. He looked happier than he has looked in awhile..I realize what a weight this has been for him. It has to be hard to not show your true self to the one you love…and on top of that to find yourself loving another.
His hands were steadily climbing up my skirt until he finally growled in my ear that I was wearing far too many clothes. I was wearing a tailored little black dress and he confessed to allowing me to leave it on because I looked so cute in it and his favorite color for me is black. He helped me pull the dress over my head and he removed my silk hose….and matching black panties. My bra was so charming I thought for a minute he was going to allow me to leave it on but it soon joined the rest of my clothing across the back of the chair. He is always so careful with my clothes…just like he is careful with me. One of things he said to L over the weekend in defense of how often he plans on seeing me was that I am his property and he takes care of his property. I feel like his property. I always do but no more so than today. That feeling of being his was thick in the room. His dominance challenged me today…
Once I was naked his hands ran up and down my body..he told me he wanted me marked. I knew he wanted to hurt me. But first I hadn’t sucked his cock in awhile he said. He pushed me down to him I pulled him into my mouth loving the way I feel him tense and then relax into the sensation of what I am doing. He was on his back and had me positioned right between his legs. I know what he likes. I always try to catch his eye when I suck his cock but really almost never can. He watches me down there doing it so all I have to do is look up..and sometimes he tells me to…but usually I can’t suck his cock and maintain eye contact for any real amount of time. Richard shifted a bit and put a little pressure on my head..I went a little lower and asked permission to lick his balls. Of course he granted it…I love doing this for him. I am surrounded by him…breathing him in and I love it. All of it..how I pleasure him with my tongue and mouth…how I know there is something coming. There is something about sucking your Owners cock moments before you know he is going to beat you..I may find the words to describe that one day. Richard says things to me when I have my mouth full of his cock that drive me insane…this is always a good time to hear what a little slut I am…or all the things he is going to do to me. Today I felt him very firmly reestablish his ownership of me. I felt his hands around my neck..I felt him slip a rope around my neck and tighten it. I heard his breathing quicken and loved that I was pleasuring him. I asked him if I could lick his ass and barely struggled with the question like I used to..I wanted to do it. He allowed me to play for a few moments longer before pulling me up to his chest and then kissing me hard on the mouth. We kissed a lot today…everything felt like it was turned up ten notches. Every touch on my skin was enhanced by something….we just flowed like we so often do together yet there was something else between us today that added to the rightness of our touches. He told me that he wanted me on my tummy. He placed my cuffs on my ankles and wrists and said he wanted no doubt in my mind that I was restrained. He didn’t want me to move at all he told me, I had been too long without the cane. He had been easy on me lately he whispered. That was over.
After a few minutes I was face down legs and arms spread and tightly tied to the respective four corners of the bed. He traced a hand from my neck down to my ankles..and I heard him whisper ‘beautiful’ under his breath. He started with a spanking…with his hand making hard contact with my bottom..harder than he usually spanks me. After just a minute or so I was really feeling it yet I arched my bottom towards him wanting to encourage him to continue as I tried to get lost in both the pain and the pure simplistic pleasure of being on the receiving end of a spanking. he told me how helpless I am….said that he could do anything he wanted with me. He reminded me that I am Owned, that I am His..that he will never let me go and that he will do absoloutly anything he wants to to me. Such words to hear strapped down to a bed..my Owner was in a sadistic mood. He really did want to hurt me.
He started to flog me..not hard. This was my warm up I could tell and it didn’t last long before I felt him tap the cane on my back. I felt him climb over me and he straddled my bottom yet held his weight off of me. I felt the cane bite down across my back….hard stroke after stroke. He doesn’t always cane my back…today he did. It seems almost primitive to be beaten across your back like this…I had told him as we snuggled before my clothes were removed that I felt giggly and girly that day as I was so happy to see him. I could tell he didn’t need or want the little girl side of me today..he needed his pain slut, he needed the submissive who would lick his ass and take two dozen cane strokes across her back. That is a terrible pain..my back is small and my skin is sensitive..yet I feel safe knowing he knows where to hit me and where to avoid hitting me. Funny how even when he is at his most sadistic self I never worry that he will leave any lasting damage to my body.
My back was alive with the cane strokes and I felt myself begin to get to the place in my head where I could take anything….not quite deep sub space but my own little ‘zone’. I am getting better at controlling when I go away so deeply…today I wanted to feel it all…I wanted to be an active participant in his sadism. He said he needed to fuck me..even as he caned me he needed to fuck me. I felt his hands on me as he spread my cheeks open..he told me to relax that he wanted to see me, that he wanted to see how I wet I was. He wanted to humiliate me. I wanted it too..so I tried to relax he admonished me for struggling. I felt his weight shift and then he was inside of me..deep inside of me. I came instantly on his cock loving how full he makes me feel…loving the feeling of his teeth on the back of my neck and on my shouders. He continued to cane me as he fucked me.
I felt him pull out and stand off to the side of me. I felt his hand on the small of his back and I felt the cane resting on my bottom. The warm up was over…he raised his hand and started bringing the cane down on my bottom. He was not going to show me any mercy today…I could tell. I pulled up strength to take it all from somewhere telling myself inside my own head that I am Owned..that he can do this to my body. Convincing myself that I could take whatever loving the feeling that comes with knowing I am powerless with him. Loving the sound of the cane as it makes contact with my skin..fighting the urge to turn my head and watch the strokes land with such precision across my bottom. I was drifting from the pleasure of it yet feeling the cane with every bit of my body. it was a hard caning…one of the hardest he has ever given me. His fingers found one spot on my right cheek and he pressed down into the soreness..pinching it causing me to moan and arch towards his hand. “I’ve broken your skin'” he said..the pleasure thick in his voice. “I’ll remember this day and so will you..the day your Owner made you bleed. Never doubt I Own you.” As if I could..knowing taking pain from him is but one side of being his submissive and typically that isn’t even the most challenging part. Today the pain was turned up…but I am a masochist. I was loving it..even as I felt my limits rush towards me I was able to sneak past them…taking all that he needed me to take. He changed canes…reminding me of just how truly sadistic he is and over the thin bloody welts already marking my bottom he caned me with a heavier thicker cane. The kind that bruises, the kind that hurts so bad there is no way you can get past it or on top of it. He continued to cane me…telling me things..whispering things to me that I needed to hear. The cane landed on my bottom over and over…he caned the backs of my legs down clear to my knees….and I was just an aching moaning pile of submissive need. I had pulled at my restraints enough to give myself enough slack to met the strokes by lifting my bottom to him. He told me what a good girl I was…I continually asked for more. Even as I wanted to ask him to stop I wanted to take more…I asked for more not wanting the pain to stop. My entire body was damp…I felt connected to the cane where I hardly knew when it wasn’t making contact with my swollen flesh.
At one point he was inside me again..pounding had into me..telling me what a good cunt I was. I felt the cane against my arm..that sensitive spot that is exposed only when your arms are tied tight above your head. The cane rested there and I heard myself beg him to not cane me there..”Yes” he whispered as he brought the cane down on the back of my arm again and again. I felt tears on my face and loved that he had taught me to cry and that it was safe to cry with him..that he welcomed my tears.
My mind was numb but for one thought…I was desperate to have him hold me. I needed to feel tightly held. It was almost a frantic searching for something that I knew I couldn’t communicate to him. I wanted to take everything but this need in me to have pressure around my body, to be pinned against him was stronger than my need for pain..stronger than even my need to submit to him and take the pain. It must have been in my voice..”please Sir..please hold me.”
The caning stopped and he was at my side…he untied my wrist and slipped beneath me effortlessly pulling me on top of him. It wasn’t enough…I needed to feel a part of him, if I could have been inside of him I would have. I needed to hear his heart pound to slow my own…he untied my other wrist and held me, tightly he held me as if realizing just what I needed. It was a moment in time where I was truly one with him so lost I was in being in his arms. My body was still hot with pain and I trembled against him. Something was loud in my ears..like a white noise. I could tell he was speaking and I concentrated on his words until the white noise slowed and then quieted all together. I whimpered when he moved away but he shushed me telling me he was untying my feet. A second later he was back and I was back inside of him..pulling strength from the heat of him and reveling in what he can do to my body. His body was wrapped around my own..I felt the solidness of him and it calmed me. He covered me up and held me…
He wasn’t finished. He still had that need to hurt me..there was going to be more. The beast had not yet been satisfied in my Owner yet I knew he would only go on when and if he knew I was able to take it. I am not sure how much time past us by before he pressed me back onto my back and straddled me. I was still trembly but I was ready to go on..ready to satisfy him..to submit to all that makes him who he is. He pulled on my nipples…he caned my breasts hard leaving bruises. He said he wanted my mouth on his balls again and he straddled my face. He caned my breasts as I licked his balls…he attached small tight wooden clips to my nipples…to my clit to the lips of my cunt as he caned me. He caned me over the clips so that every stroke was triple agony. He tormented me..ripping the clips form my cunt saying that he knew I wanted to touch my cunt. That he said he could see how wet I was…he said I was a slut..his slut and that I wasn’t allowed to touch my cunt. It was his and I should concentrate on pleasing my Owner. He said my thoughts should only be on my mouth and on his balls as I pleasured him. The cane continued it’s biting path down my body…he caned my open legs…my cunt..but always came back to my nipples. The sound of wooden cane hitting wooden clips…smashing my skin somewhere between the two carried me to the edge of subspace.
Somehow it ended. I felt his cum hit hot on my tummy…and I heard his deep moan..and felt the cane rest against my skin. I was at my limit I could take no more knowing that him cumming certainly didn’t mean he was done hurting me. Today though he was. He held me again running his hand through his own cum sliding hot fingers through it rubbing it across my face and lips. He pulled the blankets over us both and held me tightly to him…his words comforting me..his hands gently exploring my swollen damp skin.
As I sit here right now in the early early morning hours of the next day I feel the marks still..the deep ache in my muscles from that hard piece of wood. I am striped down my back….my bottom a mass of bruises and welts. I love it. I didn’t shower afterwards…I wanted to feel him dry on my skin and smell him on my body the rest of the day. It was only later that afternoon as I stood in the shower the steam forcing the scent of him mixed with my own scent up to my nose that I fully calmed myself. Somehow..something was different. I realized I had experienced no sub-drop. I made it through the afternoon…the darkest past of my evening without feeling lost, without feeling abandoned. I felt firmly directed, firmly guided by the invisible leash that was holding on to me. I knew Richard was home that evening, i knew there was still so much to talk about there. I also knew I was on my mind. Around 9 a text message came through..one word TOY..our acronym for ‘thinking of you’ and I knew that he was. I knew I was thinking of him as I couldn’t get our mixed smell from my nose. He called me right before my bedtime to check on me..to confirm what I already knew. I was on his mind..that he loved me…that I was very much Owned.
I feel asleep not feeling the marks of the cane..that were fierce and red still..and not feeling the bruising on my breasts or thighs or arms…but feeling Owned and needed and cherished. I felt as if in one day, in one afternoon all the negativity I had assigned my submission was gone. Somehow he did that for me.
I wish I could explain why all this works the way it does. I read my own words..the descriptions of what I take from/for him and sometimes I am even taken back. I can’t explain…it is elusive. It is indefinable. It is almost like another level of being alive..that is how intense it is where everything before looks whitish and quiet. I can’t imagine not having ‘this’, not having ‘him’ in my life.
Meeting Max and Alex pt 1
There is no easy way to write about what happened with Max and Alex. I thought it would be easy but it is multi -sided and it is still changing in my mind. First I thought that I should write about this experience in three separate posts but since trying unsuccessfully to do so I am going to do just do my best to capture at least the beginning of the evening here. I know how I write, how I think and I also know that it may take me days to process everything that I am feeling and everything that I felt while I was with them, everything that I am feeling now. I imagine this will continue to trickle out over the coming days. But I will do my best to get it started here.
Last night I wrote three blog posts, none of which will ever be published. The first one was called Alex, the second one Max and the third one was simply titled Truth. When I decided to write the third part of this accounting and call it Truth please don’t assume that the first two renditions are not accurate, truthful or candid. They are. I just realized tonight that people walk into things from totally different positions and walk away in quite the same manner. I realized I had multiple perspectives and that I owed each of them their fair share. What I got out of the Alex side of the experience was much different than what I got out of the Max side..no better no worse Just different.
So starting with a little truth….it was a night that I will never forget. For many reasons. It may even be a night that will alter my life in some ways. I also want to say that my experience changed me somehow. It made me see some things that I had been pushing to the side for a long time, things that for a long time I didn’t want to think about let alone acknowledge. But I may or may not get to all that here in this first part. Be patient with me.
There was more than enough trepidation to go around heading into this adventure. Still, as mature consenting adults we all believed there was something to be gained from pressing forward and experiencing each other. Richard almost called it off more than once. It was against his better judgment that he allowed me to do it at all. I called it off once and the night before it happened Max did the same. So we were in a scary spot, all of us wanting to move ahead and see what it was like and all of us sharing the same fears and insecurities. Of all the nervousness I think the most came from Alex and me. Alex had some experience in the past of dealing with the emotions of sharing her husband even if only for a few hours with another woman. She had initiated that process with him and for him. I can only say good things about that. I see an unselfish love between them that made it feel safe to interact freely with both of them. I found myself wanting to be close to both of them equally not just the night we all met but in the period of time leading up to it. I am so impressed they are confident with each other to allow fantasies to be safely explored. Still, it was scary and it almost didn’t happen.
The night before the meeting was to take place it was decided that we would meet and just have dinner. Max and Alex had arranged for us to see a play in the city and then after that it was wide open. That seemed to settle everyone’s nerves. Early in the day a text message came in from Max telling me that he was going to meet me at my hotel at 6 and that I should be dressed for dinner. I figured that they decided it wasn’t in their or my best interest to meet for something else. I was disappointed; I think part of Richard was relieved but mostly I felt happy that at least I was going to be able to spend some time in an amazing city with two amazing people.
A few hours later I received a TM from Alex telling me to be at their suite in 45 minutes. As you know I had met Max and Alex before and had an instant connection with both of them. I remember thinking that Alex was simply lovely and that if I were to EVER have a girl experiences she would be…or she would be the ‘type’ that I was attracted to. Richard liked the idea of me experiencing Alex, this was his primary reason for allowing me to do so. I was not expecting Alex’s text message. I was napping as ordered by Richard to prepare myself for my night but was excited even though he was irritated when the text message came through. So I got up and gathered my things and headed over to their hotel from my own. I don’t remember the cab ride, it all seems a little blurry in my nervousness. Even writing about this now I can remember the excitement I felt as I walked into this new experience.
Once I arrived I text messaged Alex and told her I was in the lobby. They wrote back with the room number and told me to come upstairs. So I did. I rang the bell to their suite and waited for only a second before Alex opened the door and let me in. Her smile erased any of my lingering doubts. She made me feel good right away and the little bit of nervousness between us was the good kind and didn’t feel inhibiting at all. We hugged and she led me through one of the rooms into a darkened room where Max sat quietly in a chair. He is such a good looking guy and has the nicest eyes, together he and Alex make a startling beautiful couple. He greeted me warmly as Alex showed me to a bathroom where I could leave my things. I couldn’t look at him for some reason so I followed Alex into the bathroom. She said it would be my bathroom while I was there to freshen up in and use to change. I left my belongings and walked back into the room where the two of them waited.
I sat on the couch and we talked just a little before Alex said that she thought it was time for me to remove my shirt. She said that she would love to see my bottom and an OTK spanking was always a good place to start. I had quickly dressed before leaving my own hotel in a mid length jean skirt, high brown boots, a sweater and coat. I pulled my sweater over my head and Alex was delighted with my pink bra. She told me to be a good and crawl into her bedroom for a pillow. I have maybe crawled for Richard once, maybe twice. And Mark only asked this of me once. So this was still a relatively new experience. I don’t like doing it. So I ended up with the pillow back in front of Alex. She laid it down to her side and patted the couch beside her. She told me to climb up and lay across her legs. She lifted my skirt and asked Max to come over and see my panties. I had worn little girl panties for them, it was a request they had made and while I didn’t feel like age play was a factor in our meeting I liked that dynamic of feeling like the ‘little girl’ so I did as they asked. Alex pulled my panties down right away and began to spank me. I was surprised at how hard she spanked. Very surprised. I loved the steady string of dialogue she offered Max throughout my spanking, the way she engaged me with questions. Some not needing answers… some she would pause and await my response before continuing my spanking. At one point she leaned over and unclasped my bra. I liked that. She said that her hand was tired and that she wanted to use the paddle. She showed it to me. It was a thin dark blue paddle that was similar in shape to one of those little paddle ball games paddles that you may have had when you were a child. It stung terribly and she was not holding much back I could tell. I have a massive bruise that I am unable to determine if it came from Alex’s paddle or Max a bit later. When the spanking was over she told me to thank her and so I did. Max reached out and helped me get off Alex’s lap and I knelt on the floor between the two of them. I was a little shaky. She wanted my skirt off and they both helped me with that. So there I was naked kneeling on the floor.
Max opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate my visit to the city. Alex gave me a glass of water first and presented it on the floor beside me and told me I couldn’t use my hands to drink it. “We should have gotten her a little bowl.” Max said to Alex. I sipped at my water using my tongue and then Max held a glass of champagne to my lips. They toasted my trip to the city. Our mood together was fun at times, we laughed together and they both seemed to enjoy teasing me more than a little. A small plate of grapes was placed on the floor in front of me and Max reminded me that I was not to use my hands to eat. He fed me a grape out of his hand. That simple act was amazingly erotic to me. The rest I ate off of the plate. I tried to nibble as delicately as I could on the massive grapes. I felt funny inside. This just wasn’t the type of domination I was used to. I do not mean that in any way as a negative it felt natural with the two of them because it was with them. I smiled inside because I thought of Richard and how he would think this part of my experience was funny. I went with it. It was part of the experience and I found that coming from them I liked the feelings it evoked inside of me. I was incredibly aroused and Max stroking my back and my hair as I nibbled increased my awareness of the eroticism surrounding the moment. It firmly cemented my role as ‘pet’ or ‘toy’ with them.
Alex asked if I was wet, she suggested to Max that he feel me to see if I was. Of course I was. This was the first time Max touched me there…Alex had once before when we met last year. She asked me if I remembered that….if I remembered who had the very first pussy she had ever touched. I said yes I remembered and that it was mine. The entire scene reminded me of the meeting between the four of us that Mark had arranged…I felt terrible that I thought about him as often as what I did when I was with them. I told Richard about it later and he assured me it was only natural to associate them with Mark considering he had introduced me to them and that the experience where I was with them and Mark was seen as such a positive in my mind. It was a feeling that I tried to shake all night.
Alex told Max to come around and see my bottom, she told him it was still very red. They both said several times how pretty it was. I liked how one or both of them had a hand on me at all times. Alex asked me if I brought my clothes pins with me. I hadn’t. In my rush and with all the change of plans I had walked out without them. We had played a game several weeks earlier where she had me write her name on a clothes pin and Max’s name on another. She had me write Richard on a third. She told me in this little game where the three pins were to go on my body. I was told to bring them with me. Lucky for me…she had brought a bag of them. She counted out 10 and had me write Max on them. I was kneeling almost between Max’s legs turning towards Alex. Max told me to put the clothes pins on my right breast. He asked if I thought all ten would fit. Alex said that we would make them fit. He said he wanted them close together and that I shouldn’t forget my nipple. My breast was throbbing, I am not good at putting on clothespins. Richard does it so initially it can be tolerated and then the pain gradually gets worse. I put them on and they were agony from the start. I wrote Alex on the other ten but she wanted to apply them herself. They both said the finished design was beautiful and commented on how it was a shame that Richard had decided they weren’t allowed to take pictures of me. I was in too much pain to care.
Max said that he had promised me something and that he always keeps his promises. Alex told me to lay across Max’s lap but he tapped the chair that he had just vacated and said “No, I want her this way.” So I knelt on the floor and put my elbows on the chair. The clothespins brushed the seat and I moaned., they were really hurting. Max got down close to my ear and whispered for me to arch my back. He showed me his belt and told me it was his favorite implement because he always had it with him. He folded it in half and placed it beneath my nose telling me to smell the leather. I liked the smell and knew what was coming. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Max. I have to describe him to you. He is soft spoken and has a gentle nature about him that one wouldn’t expect from a Dominant. Then again, Richard is the same way and we all know the type of Dom R is. My first experience with Max was in Austin less than a year ago. Max and Alex were given the opportunity to witness M caning me, at the end of the visit the cane was passed to Max and he gave me two strokes. I just remember being happy they were nothing like the 20 something I had just taken for M.
I don’t know if it was the gentleness I sensed from him or my prior experience with him that shocked me the most when what he did to me was anything but gentle. He said I was to have 10 strokes of his belt. I thought at first that would be easy because I have taken so much. They weren’t. Richard speculates that most of my bruising came from the belt. I was amazed that I had a hard time staying on top of the pain. As I was breathing through the blows I remembered Richard’s words to me that I should not expect my pain tolerance with Max and Alex to be what it was with him. I guess I didn’t realize quite as much as I should have anyway how it had less to do with the physical and so much more to do with where my head is. I take anything from Richard because I am that devoted to him and pleasing him. We have spent hours and hours and hours together working through things like this and growing together in this way. So when I am facing similar stimulation from a couple that I am attracted to and have this amazing connection with but do not feel dedicated to their pleasure on anything other than a superficial level the pain is harder to take. To put it another way, I love pleasing Richard and one way I do that is by letting him hurt me. When I was with Alex and Max I was there for myself, I wasn’t doing it so much to please them and I wasn’t doing it to please Richard. That is hard for someone as submissive as I am. Pleasing them to me was a bonus.
When Max was done with the belt Alex suggested I thank him. She asked me how I thought I could thank him. I wasn’t sure how to answer. She asked me again but this time said how did I want to thank him. I still wasn’t sure what she wanted. How do you say to a woman that you want to suck her husband’s cock? She was asking me to say it… I knew I was going to do it but still I found that hard. The words in some shape eventually came out of my mouth and I was told to crawl over to Max. He told me to take off his pants and then he pulled down his underwear. He put a hand in my hair and another on my shoulder as he pressed himself into my mouth. It didn’t go on for too long. I was struggling a bit because of the clothes pins and found it hard to concentrate fully on sucking Max’s cock. Plus I forgot to mention I had a large set of anal beads inside me….there is so much to tell. I am skipping pieces. I think this is a good start detailing a pretty amazing evening. More to come…..
Sleep
Most glorious night!
Thou wert not sent for slumber!
~Lord Byron
I couldn’t sleep. Or maybe I couldn’t stay asleep. My flight left early the next morning and I think I was trying too hard. Richard and I had gone out to dinner and then stopped at a coffee shop for a hot chocolate before going back to the apartment. I wasn’t sure what the night was going to bring, it was the last time I was going to see Richard before I left on my trip. It was the last time he was going to see me before I met Max and Alex. Richard wasn’t feeling 100% and I was exhausted so we spend most of the evening just talking. I find myself opening up and telling Richard things that I have never told anyone else. He is such a safe place for me. He knows what I need and so the night was to end with us cuddling beside each other naked and whispering until we both fell asleep. I remember falling asleep but woke up sometime in the middle of the night…..
He had rolled over on his stomach and that may have been what woke me up. I woke up needing something. Maybe just attention? I started rubbing his back softly just enjoying the sensation of my skin against his. It was the type of touch that he loves. I grazed my nails lightly down his back and butt…. delving lower to brush my fingers gently across the back of his balls. I felt his body stiffen at my touch and heard his breathing quicken. I smiled a little to myself quite pleased with myself that I had so skillfully awakened my Owner. He rolled over and gave me a dark look before pulling me beneath him and kissing me hard on the mouth. He mumbled to me that I shouldn’t have woke him up..he had just fallen asleep. He rolled back onto his side and looked down at me. He pulled all the covers off of me and they slid onto the floor. His fingers found my nipples and he pulled on them hard…harder than he usually does and then bit them both painfully causing me to struggle a little and try to push him away. I was ready to say fine then go back to sleep! (I knew better)
His hand rested on my stomach and brushed downward and pushed my legs open. I thought he was going to touch my clit..and it crossed my mind that maybe an orgasm was just what I needed to help me sleep. Instead he started to spank my cunt over and over with his open hand, they were punishing smacks that spoke of a true irritability at being woke up. He rolled me over and lifted me up on my knees and gave me what was the hardest spanking I have ever, ever had. I can’t imagine it being harder or lasting longer..he was relentless. I curled my hands into the sheet beneath me to keep from covering myself. This is the Richard that can still scare me. The Richard that hurts me more than I can take.
He pushed me back onto my stomach and sat up beside me.
“Stand up. Face me..I want your arms lifted and your palms up.” This was new, I wasn’t sure what he was thinking- he had never put me in this position before. I wondered for a second if he was going to make me stand here while he slept for the rest of the night. It had only been a few seconds and already my arms wanted to come down.
He started putting clothes pins on the inside of my arms…on that soft tender area right beneath my underarm. He put a few on each breast and then one on each nipple. My body felt hot and I felt my arms tremble. I felt my own juice trickle down my leg- that is how wet I was for him. The pain from the clips in that tender area was magnified by the thought in my mind that he was less than pleased with me. He cautioned me against lowering my arms. I felt the need to cry almost… it was so hard to hold position.
He stood up and walked around behind me. I felt him tap the backs of my legs with his cane. A second later he laid it across the backs of my thighs…over and over he caned me. Jarring stinging blows that made me want to sink down to my knees. He stopped after I don’t know how many and walked to the refrigerator. I thought…oh no he is getting that Popsicle that he bought, the one that I know is going in my cunt one day. Instead he carried back two bottles of water. For a second I innocently thought…how sweet. He knows I am thirsty. That is not what the water was for. He placed a bottle of water in each of my still upturned hands. My muscles were shaky already and the 22 ounces in each hand almost made me break position. He began to cane me again only stopping to snap the cane against the inside of my arm if I allowed my arms to droop. I was getting upset and in a lot of pain….the cane and the pain in my arms and the clothes pins all together made me wish I hadn’t woke him up. Yet I had and I was paying the price.
He stopped caning me and stood directly behind me. I could feel his cock against my back. He took the bottles of water and tossed them out of the way pressing my arms down at my sides. Richard held the cane against my mouth and told me to kiss it. He told me to thank my owner for beating me when I needed it. I felt his arms go around me and he began to pull of the clothes pins. I cried out loudly and instantly felt hot tears in my eyes. When I say he pulls them off that is just what he does…he grabbed a small handful of four clips that were attached to the underside of my arm and yanked them. Then he did the other arms. He didn’t squeeze them to open them at all..just a hard tug and they were off. I felt him still. Like he was taking a second to absorb the pain that he was causing. he does that sometimes..like he soaks it all in. I love the look he gets on his face when hurting me is bringing him the greatest pleasure. He bent me over the bed and entered me hard from behind. His strokes were deep and hard…punishing is a good word. He told me that I was wet, that I was his cunt and that I stayed wet for him even when he punished me. He fucked me hard for several minutes before stopping.
He caned me again, this time hard on the backs of my legs. When he stopped I felt afraid at what he was going to do next. He told me to pick up the clothes pins and put them away. He told me to straighten the bed and to put the cane away. His voice was very detached…not angry. Just detached. It lacked the warmth that it usually holds when he speaks to me. I stood looking up at him wondering what he wanted from me next. He told me to lay down in the middle of the bed. I did so as he returned the water to the refrigerator.
Still naked I curled up on my side hoping he could see the ladder of cane marks he had inflicted on my body and show me mercy. He got back into bed and laid down beside me. Richard snaked his hand around my waist and pulled me directly against his chest….some people call this spooning. Our bodies were very close. He kissed my shoulder and then kissed my neck. “Now…GO TO SLEEP!” he said.
“Yes Sir” I sighed melting into him my eyes already closing. His hand was caressing the stinging cane marks. Times like these I am reminded of what an incredible owner I have. I went right to sleep and didn’t wake back up all night.
yet another task
i was wet as soon as i remembered it was time to put on my clips. it was
close to the end of the day and i had a few staff working in their
offices or on paperwork outside of my office in the workroom. i felt
quite slutty sitting behind my desk reaching down between my legs to clip
clothespins on my cunt for you Sir. i liked the way it made me feel to
know that even from so far away you can make me do things that i would
never consider doing for another. i thought for a minute that i was too
wet to get them on right, i almost needed to find a cloth to wipe my juice
away so they could clip on tight enough. i wanted to feel them.
an overriding feeling i had was the ache in my nipples, like i needed to feel
your fingers pinch them and pull them like you do, perfectly hard enough
to steal my breath. that ache remained with me because of course i
couldn’t do something like that from behind my desk. one thing you must
realize Master is once i stand up the clips feel very different. it is as
much about he pull when i walk as it is about the slight weight of the
wood. today it was both plus i put them on quite accidentally in a way so
they crossed over each other and as i walked it was as if they were swords
rubbing against each other pulling at my cunt lips with every step.
theyhurt.
i felt a trickle of my juice run down my thigh before the fabric of
my skirt caught it and soaked it up just as you have so many times. i
walked around my desk and clutched at the side pulling on a brave face to
walk out to mingle with my few remaining staff. i had some questions to
answer, a problem or two to solve and two phone calls to take as i circled
the offices and talked to my staff. before i got back around to my
office the pain was a part of me, i was used to it and i was on top of it.
i felt somewhat floaty and so submissive to you. i felt so owned -like you
were walking with me…i wished that you were waiting for me in my office
to remove the clips yourself. i like that part with you, the moment right
before when we both know the pain is coming when we both know that you are
getting ready to hurt me. i take in that pain and it becomes a part of me
-just like you are.
Update
Lots of stuff going on right now. Obviously things are going great with Richard and I. I have never felt more submissive to him- actually I have never felt more submissive period. When D/s is right, it is really remarkable. He is leaving tomorrow for a week and our plans for today included meeting at the apartment for ‘just lunch’. For us ‘just lunch’ means anything but! Where ‘lunch’ means actual consumption of food. Sadly today became lunch instead of ‘just lunch’ because our schedules just got crazy.
So we are sitting at a coffee shop together, a place that we spend way too much time and I realized that I would have done anything in the world to be able to show him right there how I felt. I longed to kneel in front of him, to rest my head on his knee and feel his hands play in my hair. I loved the way we sat across from each other but ended up almost side by side. He reached down every once in awhile and stroked my knee or my thigh. At one point he even asked me how it felt to know he could touch me however or where ever he pleased. I love knowing this, I love knowing that I am his. He asked this as he cupped my ankle in his hand and glided his hand part way up my calf. I like the wondering looks as people glance our way. Are they noticing our obvious age difference or do they just see that there is something remarkable in what we share?
I know that when he returns from his trip he is planning on piercing my nipples. I want to have them pierced- actually pierced. He refuses to discuss that. He wants to temporarily pierce them. He wants to slide a needle through my nipple. First one and then the other. I know causing me this sort of pain is something he wants to experience. He knows I am hesitant. Yet I know that I want it too…that the idea is arousing. The very idea that he has that right. I wonder if he will fuck me after they are pierced…will he cane me with them still there, will he pull and bite at my nipples even as they hold the thin metal within their aching softness.
Another update is with Max and Alex. I am chatting with Alex more often than I was before. I am getting to know her so much better and am swept away by her insight into herself. I am quite impressed by her devotion and especially the level of submission she offers her hottie husband Max. She has a complex personality the way I see it. I feel such kindness and caring come from her yet I feel like she can be cold and maybe even cruel given the right circumstances. She has said some things to me that have really stung. I sense something in her that isn’t quite ok. Yet….I like knowing that she wants to hurt me for the pleasure of her husband. My trip in now less than a month away and I am eager to be at their mercy. I have some hints of what they plan to do to me. I know that Alex enjoys clothespegs and I have a feeling she will torment me with them. I can only hope. I think she will be good for me. I want to walk away more knowledgeable about my submission.
Something else to add here is the contract that Richard, Max and Alex are working on. It is a Contract of Submission and it outlines expectations and responsibilities of and for both partied. Throughout the contract apparently I am referred to as ‘pet’. I am stuck between the feeling of humiliation of being discussed like property and the arousal I feel at being discussed like property. 🙂
The anticipation is killing me.
Back to you
Richard writes….
We are having some difficulty finding the right balance, the place where pixie feels secure in my Dominance, but not so overwhelmed by it that she cannot move forward. We had an incredible experience Sunday night (see https://pixiepie.wordpress.com/2007/09/24/richard/ )an expression of complete and total Dominance and submission, an almost violent reaffirmation of ownership. It was just what pixie needed at that moment. And the other day, her need came back with the statement that she was feeling all “jittery” at work and she asked me to say something to help clear her mind. When I did she said, “more…please say more.” That brought out the Dom in me, and for 5 minutes of online chatting, I brought her back into focus, and began telling her what I planned to do to her that night. But I feel conflicted sometimes – my Dominance can be so all encompassing, that it leaves no room for anything else. Is it leaving room for a new relationship to develop?
Pixie writes….. I told you I needed reassurance all of a sudden. Were you thinking of me? Was everything OK? Were we OK? I was having trouble making decisions, things weren’t clear in my mind. I hate that I feel needy sometimes in relationships that are the most secure in my life. So sometimes I feel conflicted, I want to see Liam and yet I need so badly to see you. I decided to see you and not reassure Liam. I am not good at reassurance.Liam said sometimes I am too vague. I told you its true sometimes I am hard to get an answer from, I said it hurts sometimes to pull something concrete from my head when I am in sub mode. I was jittery, I wasn’t coping. You said….”take a deep breath and think about the fact that I own you and will use you tonight” and I said “please say something more, please make me feel it more” only I didn’t know what I wanted you to say only I needed something to calm me. You said…”listen, my little cunt – did you get my TM reminding you to be wearing a skirt when I arrive tonight?
Me- yes Sir
R- but you didn’t reply – left me wondering if you had gotten it
Me- sorry Sir…I was driving
R- you will be punished for that.
Me- oh? Yes Sir.
R- and you’ve been driving ever since? forgetful aren’t you?
Me- no Sir…well sometimes
R- Don’t forget to reply to your Master.
Me- I won’t Sir.
R- spread your legs
Me- yes Sir.R- wider
Me- oh
R- embarrass yourself by spreading them so wide
Me- yes..I did…I am
R- remember the pee running down your leg into the ocean –
Me- yes Sir
R- you probably have to pee right now, don’t you
Me- yes Sir
R- good. I’ll bet you are wet
Me- yes Sir I am…sorry Sir
R-almost like you have already peed .
Me- yes
R- don’t be sorry – you are wet for me. As it should be
I won’t punish you for being wet
Me- ok
R- I insist on it
And so it went on for a few more minutes until I was securely back in my place. The ambiguity of my situation was lost in the control that you holds over me. I needed to feel the heavy hand of your control and although I knew the evening would bring your hands to my flesh I needed words to serve as the catalyst in getting me back to the point in my day where everything was alright.
Richard…..
I arrived at her house to find her wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt. It just covered her butt. As we talked, and munched on some chocolate chip cookies I had brought with me (we share a passion for chocolate chip cookies!), she variously sat on the floor, stretched out prone, and sat on a stool. Unlike her usual self, she was much less shy about offering me glimpses of her cunt, and at one point as she sat on the stool I made her spread her legs and give me a good look. I told her it was beautiful, but that word does not do it justice. Looking at her naked, especially when she is wearing something short that can be pulled up over her ass, just makes me say “oh.” You know, that kind of “oh” that means you are just speechless and hot and bothered. Sometimes just looking at her can bring on the start of “Dom Space.” She is perfect. It makes me both love her more than ever and want to hurt her all at the same time. My eyes take her in, they take her, they own her, they begin the process of using her, they make it clear to her that I can do whatever I choose to do to her. I love her.
Pixie writes…..
Yes, I was less modest with you and I am not sure why my modesty with you comes and goes. Sometimes a quietness runs over my body so it feels like your eyes are as natural on my skin as your hands. Sometimes your eyes rage a silent war within myself to hide myself from the heat of your glance. Tonight I wanted your eyes on me. I loved the secret thrill of seeing you react to my nakedness. After all…submission doesn’t always leave a girl powerless. It feels odd having you in my house as I am so used to our apartment. You fill up my space. I like how you make me feel safe.
Richards turn…..
When we moved into her bedroom, I pushed her roughly down on the bed face down. I spread her cheeks and played with her for a minute or two. I moved to the other side of the bed and knelt on it in front of her and roughly used her mouth. At one point I gripped her throat to keep her from gagging and pushed in hard and deep. I love using her this way. It is a mental pleasure far more than a physical one.
Pixie writes……
I love having your cock in my mouth. Love it even more when you take my mouth hard. I wondered what you were doing to my throat….now I understand. It was easier to take you, I just thought you had decided to make me struggle for air. I try sometimes to look up at you while your cock is deep inside my mouth but find I become unnerved and can’t do it. I enjoy being taken like this. It makes me feel taken, violated and used.
Richard…….
Earlier in the day pixie had described a fantasy where she had clamps on her nipples which were attached to a chain going around her back, which I pulled on as I entered her from behind, so that with each thrust I would pull on the chain. So I attached clamps to her nipples, cruelly attached by pulling a chunk of breast behind the nipple into the clamp, and pulled them around behind her with a small piece of rope.
Pixie…..
Ok..Mr Smooth, let’s tell everyone how the second nipple clamp broke as you tried to put it on me. How I couldn’t help laughing at you…I enjoy these moments of intimacy between us. I liked how you laughed outloud even as I moaned at the pain of the first one and the frustration of waiting while you found a replacement. This was really very painful. I breathed very deeply as you came around behind and pulled the rope up close to my skin. I felt my nipples tighten and my cunt dripped with desire for you. I love when you hurt me. The rope felt rough on the smooth skin beneath my arms. I felt harnessed. I like being held in your grasp so mercilessly.
Richard………
I grabbed the lube, smeared some roughly on her hole, and pushed deep into her ass without any preliminary stretching. I knew I was hurting her, and I knew she wanted it. It was close to an ass rape. I felt overwhelmingly Dominant, in total control of a toy, a pet, a slave, that I owned and could use as I wished in whatever way I wished for my pleasure. And for me, what made it even better, is knowing that it was for her pleasure as well. As pixie has said, I am all about pleasure, not about punishment. With each thrust, I pulled on the rope attached to the clamps. As I urged her toward an orgasm, she said it hurt too much, she couldn’t cum. I told her she had to and I was going to pull off the clamps. She begged me not to, “no, don’t take them off,” she cried. She thinks I have learned to ignore her pleas for mercy, but the truth is I enjoy hearing her beg and then intentionally doing the opposite. What I mean is that ignoring her begging is not enough – it is even better to be aware of her begging, seek it solely for the sake of going beyond it, and then taking more from her in spite of her begging; taking even more because of her begging. As I pulled off a clamp I immediately grabbed her breast and massaged the nipple back to life, causing the pain to intensify. With each one she cried out, and then convulsed into an amazing orgasm.
Pixie…….
You really hurt me. I am used to you allowing me time to get used to your cock in my ass. I found that my mental submission when you took me like this was strong enough to cover up the pain, the fact you ‘could’ do it made the pain easier to take. What strikes me as different about you that night was that you reaffirmed what I already knew. You can stop hearing my pain, you can ignore my begging and take me where only you know I need to go. What I also need to point out is that when I beg you to stop…. at that very moment I really want you to stop. It hurts and the pain is hot and tearing and at times I feel myself losing control. Somehow you just know when my begging is just really just a plea for a moment of gentleness. A moment of softness at your hand is all I need to make it alright. You give me this and it is a reminder of why I do it…why my need to please you is so strong.
Richard……….
It may be apparent to pixie’s readers that this encounter was not just a normal D/s scene to this point. It was cruel, and both of us were reveling in that cruelty; both of us knew this was different, both of us knew that we were welded together by the S/m state of our minds. And it wasn’t over by any means. I physically pushed her around on the bed. She was on her hands and knees, with her knees tucked all the way under her, curled up almost. No restraints. I began using the whippy thing on her back. (see “Cry”). It is a hard and cruel pain. It bites, it leaves marks, it ranges from stingy to biting, flesh-cutting intensity. And I laid it on her back for several minutes, varying the strokes from light sting to vicious snaps, some of which caused her to gasp and pull up her body, try to turn away from it. But no restraints. I did the same thing to her ass, then again on her back. I caused the strands to wrap around and snap her breasts. She was begging me to stop. Of course, I ignored that. Yes, I was in a cruel mood. I was asserting my ownership of her. I was using her to the maximum, pouring my pain into her and taking it back as pleasure. That is what sadists do, and thank God for masochists.
At one point pixie went away, into deep subspace. Her breathing slowed and she began to be unresponsive to the snaps on her butt and back. I continued anyway, enjoying the fact that I could do anything to her, anything. After another minute or so, decided to bring her back, so I snapped the whip across her ass really hard, and she gasped and opened her eyes. She looked at me with an almost angry look, a look that said “too much.” I said, “Welcome back. You’ve been gone. I’m going to let you go away again.” I resumed the more moderate switching across her back and ass, keeping the level of intensity at a level that hurt enough to send her away but not so much that it snapped her back out of it. I love that I have learned so much about pixie’s reaction, and how she “goes away” into deep subspace, that I can now manipulate it. I recognize it instantly, and I can leave her there or bring her back, and now I know I can send her back as well. Such an amazing sense of power over her.
Pixie…….
I really want to add something here but can’t. You are so right Richard, I went away. I remember the vicious bite of the whip and I wondered how I could possibly take another stroke. You know this is the first time you have whipped me without feeling the need to restrain me. Have I come so far in my submission to you? I wonder if you think subspace is a cowardly place for my mind to wonder off to. I hope you know it is a sign of the trust I have in you, it is the ultimate vulnerable state.
Richard………
When I had enough of the whippy thing, and I do mean when I had had enough, I told pixie that I was going to fuck her, but first I was going to cover her lips with clothes pins so that it would hurt while I was doing it. It is truly enjoyable to a sadist to cause pain WHILE taking pleasure, in an act that is usually thought of as pleasureable. Pixie begged me not to do it. I roughly positioned her and began pumping her from behind. I told her to rub herself, and she said it hurt too much. I told her to do as she was told and with minutes, she was close, but again said she couldn’t cum, it hurt too much. I pushed her hand out of the way and brought her to an orgasm, and immediately began yanking clothespins off her. What an incredible feeling of control, power, pleasure all washed up in her agony and pleasure, which were one and the same, inseparable.
Pixie…………..
I am not sure what was the most erotic Richard? You forcing yourself inside of me as my cunt lips were covered with wooden pins or the way you told me to ‘do what I was told’. Your words mean so much to me when we are together. Rarely I am in such a state that I can’t cum, the pulling of the clothes pins and the pounding of your body into my much smaller one was almost unbearable.
Richard……….
Which brings me back to where I started. Clearly, this kind of assertion of ownership, total Domination, while very good for pixie in the short run, is becoming counter-productive in my efforts to push her toward Liam. We need to find a balance. We need to find the RIGHT balance, a place where her head is straight, and she is focused, and yet she has the space to move toward him without feeling lost, or like she is losing me, or like she is betraying me or acting in a manner that is inconsistent with my ownership. Her moving closer to Liam, at my direction, is not inconsistent with that Dominance. She needs to understand that. And I need to find the balance for her that allows her to grow while feeling nurtured and safe.
Clothespins
Richard and I live about an hour from each other. Our jobs put us in closer proximity to each other yet it is still quite a drive sometimes with traffic. So…….
Richard rented us a small apartment between our homes so we can have a place to be together without one of us always traveling the longer distance. Yet last night Richard was tired and really wasn’t expecting me to text him and say… “want to see me tonight?”. After all we had spent the previous night together. My plans for the day ended earlier than expected and so….I couldn’t help but text him hoping he would want to meet at the apartment.
He suggested I come to his house instead…..he told me to stop at the apartment and pick up a few things. “Bring a medium sized cane….no, make it a smaller one. One of the whippy ones. I am thinking I should give your bottom a rest after yesterday. And the whippier one can be used anywhere.”
Gulp………….but really I was grateful. You have no idea how very grateful I was when he said that. The previous morning had included a hard experience involving a small knife and a little blood. I am not quite ready to go into any great detail, it’s enough to say that I am grateful he was willing to give me time to recover.
Anyway…so when I walked into the apartment I picked out two of my favorite canes…my wrist restraints…a large cosmetic bag full of clothespins and a half full bottle of wine from dinner the night before. I thought it would go great with the dinner that I knew Richard was cooking for us. Grilled pork chops….baked potatoes….salad and wine. I think every sub should have a Dom like that. 🙂
I walked into his house and he was grilling the pork chops out on his deck. Now there is something about a handsome man cooking….grilling is even better. He greeted me and told me how lovely I looked, teased me about my little dress and gave me a
a huge hug. He wanted to see my bottom right away to see how I was healing so he turned me around and lifted my skirt right there in the kitchen. Something told me the movie I rented to help him feel better would go unwatched. He casually explored my body with his hands. After a few more seconds he patted me on the bottom…..and isn’t that the universal sign to go ahead and stand up. I strightened myself and let my dress fall back into place. His smile told me he was pleased to see me even though he wasn’t feeling 100%. He looked just fine to me though and I have to wonder if his sniffles were not just a sly way to get me to drive into the city.
We shared a wonderful dinner. He is such a fun conversationsalist. I knew that the very first time I sat down with him. He is engaging and interesting. And I am almost at the point where I can sit through a meal with him without feeling nervous. Plus he is an awesome cook.
With dinner behind us and the wine bottle now emptied he suggested we go into his bedroom. He asked to see what I brought with me and I showed him the two canes and then the bag of pins and restraints that I had decided to bring on my own. His eyebrow lifted slightly and he looked at me a bit appraisingly. I think he was pleased that I took the initiative to pick something else out.
I have an issue with clothespins. Clothespins and clamps are the best kind of pain. They do not give that crisp white bite of pain like the cane does…it isn’t thuddy like a paddle or snappy like a belt. It is a pain that bites right away and then grows hot and achey. And when there are only a few on it is agony because you have to feel the individual bites and it is so isolated. When there are a lot on it is almost easier to take because it becomes one big pain and it hard to tell where each clips hurts…and it is hard to tell if it is his fingers pulling up your skin to apply another clip or is it just the pull of an existing pin. Richard does very little in moderation and tonight was no different.
I stood in front of him and he pulled my dress over my head tossing it on the chair in his room. My panties came off next and I was standing nude in front of him. He always takes a minute to just look at me after undressing me. I never feel more naked than when his eyes search my entire body. I feel trembly sometimes and shaky standing there in front of him knowing what he has done to me, knowing what he is capable of doing to me.
He told me to lay down across the bed and he laid down beside me. Sometimes he right away jumps into whatever sadistic evil plan he has in his head…meaning sometime the pain comes right away. Tonight he pulled me against him and kissed me deeply. I am still in awe from Richard’s kisses. With his kisses usually comes pain..his hands find my breasts and pull and twist my nipples painfully. He bites and and nips at my lips and my neck and…oh I have trouble writing about this sometimes because I can just get so amazingly hot replaying it in my head. Kisses from Richard are perfection. He doesn’t come across at first as the kind of Dominant that likes to kiss his sub…I do not think he has always kissed his submissives. I get lots of kisses though and it feels right and natural and so I greedily take them. Like he said to me today…”what a greedy little cunt you are.”
He sat up and started to put my restraints on my wrists. I think I say this everytime I mention my restraints but I LOVE THEM!!! They are the one thing I carried over from my relationship with M to my relationship with R. I guess when I was given to Richard he should have been told…accessories sold separetly. 🙂
Once my restraints were on he played with me a bit more and I was eager to do whatever he asked so when he told me he wanted my lips around his cock I didn’t hesitate. I like being down there against the very heat of him. I like how he smells and I like the weighted feel of him in my mouth. I especially like when he holds my head still and thrusts into my mouth..and the feeling of barely being able to take all of him without gagging. I like doing this for him and love how he can just tell me to do it anytime. He knows I will obey him.
He had me on my back he opened up the bag of clothes pins. I had added to the bag two clips that have a semi heavy metal chain connecting them. He dumped them all out on the bed beside me and immediatly pulled that set from the pile. “Ahhh…perfect” he said laying it to the side. He told me to spread my legs for him. This is still a little hard sometimes but I managed to do it without fussing too much. He pinched each of my nipples hard and I felt a slight sheen of sweat creep from beneath my skin to dampen my breasts.
He picked up the pins with the heavy chain between them and placed one pin on one nipple and then the second one on the other. He kissed the tips of my nipples and pulled on the chain. I heard myself moan and lift up to follow the pull of the chain. He dropped it suddenly and instead started to apply the pins in a circle around my breasts. First one and then the other… pin after pin they went on. Each one hurting worse than the first one. He is an expert at what skin is the most sensitive. He clipped the skin right above my cunt…right at my hairline. He ran a string of pins down each side biting into the thin skin covering my ribs.
He told me he was going to use them all. I was pouring sweat and trying so hard to satay on top of this pain. I felt a tug to be pulled away…I was on the cusp of slipping into super sub space. I knew I dangerously close to the edge and the part of me that so desperatly needed this pain welcomed him when he pressed his hand down against my pin covered breast…causing them all to pull my tight skin in a thousand different biting directions. He pulled at them and pressed into them. His lips kissed me again and I felt his mouth at my throat. He bit softly into my skin and continued downward biting at my nipples once more.
His hand rested at my throat and he tapped my cheek gently. I looked up at him thinking he was making sure I had not slipped away. After I looked up at him he brought his hand down across my cheek. He slapped me again, and then again across my face. Hard enough where I could feel the imprint of his fingers but not hard enough to leave a lasting bruise or mark. He rarely hits me in the face but when he does….wow. It is the swiftess way to sub space, Nothing focuses me faster or more completly than his hand coming down across the same cheek that his hands so lovingly caress.
What goes on must come off… and the light in his eyes changed. I knew he was ready to take them off. Now for anyone who has never had clothespins on your body let me explain something. They are a thousand times worse coming off. Maybe a million. And there were so many on me. I felt the familiar wave of panic pull me down. I heard my voice begging him not to take them off, I felt his resolve in his grasp as he pressed my hands back above my head. I hated myself for begging and for the fear of the pain that I knew was coming. He soothed me….he calmed me with his words and while holding my hands above my head he removed at least six of the clips with his mouth. It was the most sensually painful experience ever. It was fierce pain given as gently as possible. Somehow though it didn’t meet his sadistic need to hurt me. His fingers grasped the middle of the chain and he began to pull. “I am going to pull this off. ” he said.
“No..please,” I rememeber saying trying to clutch at his hands. He brushed me away and pulled the chain hard….and finally the biting stretch gave way and the clips were off my nipples. “Thank you.” I whispered against his mouth.
He pulled one and then the other into his mouth biting at me. I was a damp mass of pain in his bed….terrified of what was to come knowing he would show me no mercy. I felt him grasp three clips together and pull. And then three more. With every group that came off he rubbed the skin and made me cry out from the pain of his touch.
Most of the clothespins were off. I struggled against him the pain was so intense. “I want my cock in your mouth when I pull of the rest.” he said this low against my ear as he started to push me lower down his body. I was barely able to draw him into my mouth so overwhelmed I was with the pain and with just trying to calm down enough to breath. I stopped once and he prctically growled for me to continue. I felt his hand on the clips and felt him press deeply into my mouth and I know I moaned against his cock anticipating the coming pain. When it came I cried out loudly and it sounded muffled and strained against his thrusts into my mouth.
What helped me focus at this point was knowing they were at last all off. I was so close to crying, so close to losing it but never did. He pulled me up closer to himand help me tightly while I trembled. I felt my small shakes and wondered why I was shaking…the fear was past..the anticipation was gone. I was safe and was being held tightly…yet still I trembled. It was a hard intense experience that I know brings him amazing pleasure.
I didn’t think I had slipped away…didn’t really recognize coming in and out of sub space this time. I knew I left because today when he emailed me the picture I couldn’t remember him taking it. I am so glad he did. I can’t quit looking at it. It is one of my favorites so far because it captures so much of my submission….the powerful offering of trust, vulnerability, love and desire that can be trivialized and minimized as being ‘just D/s’.
pixie pie 